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Well it's over...

msc1120's picture

Submitted by msc1120 on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 7:46am

Sat down with H last night and had a long talk. He doesn't want to try and save our marriage so I have no choice but to let him go. I told him I knew it would be hard but that we could get through this but I'm not going to fight him on this if he wants to be done we're done. I did ask him if it was that other woman and he said no, I told him not to lie to me about it and he said I've already told you everything I'm not going to lie now. Who knows if it's the truth or not. It's kinda pathetic and I'm sure with a little time things will change but I right now I can't see myself with anybody but him. I'm just really lost but I know I'll find my way again.

I just want to thank all you wonderful women and men on this site for letting me vent and giving such wonderful advice. I don't know any of you but I love you guys, you have all helped me so much these past few months. I hope that each and everyone of you finds some peace thin the step jungle and I hope that one day your skids all realize how lucky they are to have you in their lives. I know I wouldn't be the person I am today without my stepmom.

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 8:01am

I'm sorry he can't look beyond himself even enough to see that he's losing.

You seem to be seeing things clearly, & that's a good frame of mind to be in. Yes, it sucks but time will heal. I promise. It probably won't even take a long time. Only enough to get you out of the company of a lying cheat. My moment of realization that my first marriage was over came when I was relieved to be stuck in stand-still traffic on the interstate for 3 hours because of a wreck one evening on my way home from work. I actually felt relief to be in my car, going nowhere...alone.

It sucks to feel alone, but it sucks a million times more when you're sitting next to the one person who promised to be your best friend & partner for life.

I'm glad he chose to let you go. You deserve a man who wants to give you the world. Not one who can't decide whether you're worth fighting for or not.

(((Hugs)))

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 8:21am

I feel really sad that you are going through this, I hope you know you DO deserve better and I truly believe there is someone for everyone, try to embrace your independance for now and when the time is right someone will sweep you off your feet Smile Keep your head held high, you will get through this. Take it one day at a time.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 8:43am

You will come out stronger and better and wiser for this, even though it's no consolation now. He gave up on this marriage, not you, and he lost out.

(((((hugs))))

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 8:53am

I am so sorry. You obviously are the stronger link. Your STBX is unreliable and unfaithful and his paramour is not worth a tap on your keyboard. Ignorance or not letting ehr see she got to you in this situation and keeping her guessing is the best path in the long run.

Be strong. Be brave. And life does get better. It sounds trite but one day at a time, one hour, one minute. And don't go away. You have experiences that will help someone else out there. Take care of your soul. HUGS!

dgb's picture

Submitted by dgb on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 10:56am

Personally, I'm excited for you. I am SO glad that this TORTURE will be over for you once and for all! Oh, and please go back and read some of the advice that was given to you in previous blogs concerning what to and not to give up to him. It may be difficult to think about now, but you have to think about your financial future. If you don't force yourself to think about this now, you'll be cursing yourself five years down the road. I would think that new furniture and a new wardrobe would be a nice place to start in spending some of his money. Ever considered any plastic surgery? New boobs? New nose? Tummy tuck? Go for it and let him know he paid for it all! Sorry, I know this sounds evil, but what better revenge than to show him what a better person you are because of him! = )

knucklehead's picture

Submitted by knucklehead on Wed, 05/23/2012 - 10:57am

Sad
It's always darkest before the dawn. There will come a time when you look back on this realize how much you've grown.
Honestly, as shitty as this feels, he is doing you a huge favor. Find a support system and focus on you!

Delilah's picture

Submitted by Delilah on Thu, 05/24/2012 - 9:20am

You know what, even though you are heartbroken right now it is far and away better to be ALONE, free to do what you want and not have to deal with the burdens your ex brings into your relationship than to be ALONE IN a relationship. As lets be honest, you were as your exDH was too busy putting his energy and effort into cheating, avoiding your marital difficulties.

This person doesnt want to fight for you, and although you feel like he is "the one", he isnt if he is not prepared to work for you. You are the only one who can set your *worth*.

The best revenge you can get is to hold your head high (even when you are crying under your duvet in private), look and behave like a lady, focus your energy into ensuring you protect your assets through your separation and divorce and behaving as if HE is the one who has lost out. As he has.