I've talked to SO about the situation at hand.

The robotic stepford child beheaviour continues...GRRRR

SO and I are at a cross-roads. I suggested that maybe we be affectionate to try to break the cold behaviour that they're showing and he's all down for that, and he's also alright with being poliet back, but he does not want to be "nice" to be cold, but instead to get a reaction out of them.

When would be the right time for SO to have the "enough is enough" conversation?(today is thanks-giving), or should be just "play along" to get a reaction out of them and not talk to them about it

Is there anything else we should do to try to get a reaction out of them?? maybe even take them out seperatley, and just confront them???

They already "one upped" SO. Ss wanted to go to the scientific exhibiton, so he went with his friends(friends mom picked him up and drove him back), and Sd also went her friends to that middle eastern restuarant. They both asked for permission. Again, "Thank you for letting us go, we are grateful" BS. They already before hand figured out transporation. Since it was the opening day for the exhibition- admission was free, and sd had paid for herself at the restaurant- both of them get an allowance from BM (2 dollars/day), and they know how to save, so they both have over 600$ saved(each).

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It's not surprising - this is

It's not surprising - this is what is called an "extinction burst". Things get worse before they get better.

Any time is fine for the enough is enough talk- but your SO has to be prepared for them to test out his resolve. He's just starting to get a backbone with them, and they aren't going to give up power easily. And yes, most definitely keep them longer when BM goes out of town.

I agree. The only way to

I agree. The only way to stop it is for your DH not to react. He can get upset to you in private but he must not respond to their game. The more they can elicit a response, the more fun it will be for them. If something anyone does stops gaining attention, they will stop. This is the same. I keep wondering if BM put them up to this tbh. Good luck to your DH.

Have you thought about dressing

up as a stepford wife and really going all out into the role ? Vaccum

in pearls and heels?

Good thought...

... but I'm guessing Eeep & Gleep have no idea WTF OP is doing. They may never have heard of Stepford Wives.

Honesty…if I was SO I would

Honesty…if I was SO I would attack this with a little humor. Every time they say something like “thank you for food father”…DH should kind of mimic them back saying it in a prime and proper British accent and start laughing. And then he should ask them what is that all about. All in humor and best if NOT in front of you.

And he needs to be prepared for their answer. They will most likely say that you all wanted respect and that is what you are getting.

Something just seems so off about all of this. You said they are great kids and that BM and DH are great parents and the kids basically changed overnight. Maybe you are down playing something that happened or something happened that you may not know about. It is just so weird.

Has your H tried what poster

Has your H tried what poster Willow suggested? I'd respond the same way they do, mimic them exactly and laugh with British accent and all. If they want to play why not entertain them and see how they like it.