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Easter cometh bringeth new break throughs?

MrsFitMama's picture

It seems Easter may have been a hidden blessing? DH and I actually spoke about something controversial without either of us beginning to yell. It was rather impressive. We compromised on how to celebrate and discussed on OUR family's traditions and needs and it's own entity.

In the meantime, it seems his girls are beginning to be spoiled and even he recognized this. SD is nearly 6 and not sharing toys??? WTH? SD3 is still learning but not nearing 6. It won't be tolerated. She was acting like a spoiled brat and I've been noticing this new attitude of entitlement developing. NO THANK YOU!...

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dodgegal05's picture

Congrats, maybe a new leaf has turned...and at the ages the girls are at it is perfect. Younger kids will adapt to boundaries a lot easier. Not to mention it'll make your life a whole hell of lot easier in the future.

Kaam's picture

Yes, that is true. I have one friend that inherited older skids and would interact as a friend but most of the time she spent in her creative space away from them unless they came to her. Their BM lived near by so she never had to take them anywhere unless they asked specifically. She left all of that stuff up to the parents. SS14, SD16& SD12 did some hurtful things but at 19y/o turned and apologized for her behaviour. She was an amazing SM in terms of giving gifts, decorated their rooms for them but other than that kept her distance unless they all went to a family event. Eventually, they all came around. Hubby's parenting skills would drive her crazy but she would just focus on getting herself. Walks, occasional massages, friends and family being her hubby's wife. I learned a lot from watching her. She kept a nest egg separate and that helped too. As my skids got older BM tried (hard) to mess with their minds but we would give them a day or so to detox. The detox usually went well if we did a family activity-walked, watched a neighborhood ball game, favorite board game or let them pick a movie the first night. We had family meetings and they were told that a title does not give you permission to disrespect or mistreat some one. I am a wife, aunt, daughter, friend, sister and SM etc. And I don't mistreat them because they have the title of skid. I may not like their behaviour but I love them. I told them that I am giving them grace because they are kids,but as they got older we told them that they know the difference between right and wrong. Once you become a young person the world does not give you a pass for bad behaviour and we would not give them a pass. That seem to strike a nerve with them. There were some bumps but there are bumps with All children? How we handle it is the challenge. If we can look past the courts, ugly Bio parents, financial challenges and see through to the skids it might help. It is unfortunate that they come here a blank slate and adults mess them up. Is it nature or nurture?