So....we have baby #2 due soon. It was a big decision. I've always wanted two kids, but with financial obligations to his first kid, it was a touch choice. I decided to not let past mistakes dictate our future, so I said okay, we can have a second baby.

So, I'm budgeting for the new year. I WISH we could put away for each of OUR kids as much as SD is getting (doesn't include medical/dental). Sigh, it's depressing.

What's been keeping me up:
1) I still wouldn't trade my life for BM's life EVER

2) still unfair she lied about her income to the courts (handwrote pay stubs) and lives off her parents (gets money from them whenever she wants, etc....has a new car).

3) the fact that our children will grow up with both parents together in the same house

4) seeing my first daughter smile/laugh when daddy carries and plays with her. He never did that with stepdaughter (BM kept her away), he didn't get visitation until she was about 6ish.

5) She doesn't/didn't live with either of the baby daddy's, so she'll never understand the nice feeling of cuddling up next to one of them ever night.

6) Hasn't accomplished/done as much as we have (ie. travel, college degrees), still under her parents' watch (per se).

Pretty much listing pros/cons. I'm trying to focus on the good of all this. We're going to have two beautiful children together in a good marriage. It just irks me that she got away with getting so much out of him/us and doesn't have to worry about money (her parents take care of it all).

OH, and whatever happens to SD, she ONLY references it as her "dad." Ie. Spending Christmas with her dad, her dad did x, y, and z...even though I'm the one that went shopping, thought of doing it....no f%^%$@cking appreciation. Screw it, I'm cordial, I care about her well being, but I'm not going out of my way anymore to make things "extra" for her. Talk about being unappreciated. DH gets cards on his birthday...I don't. I guess that's just the way it is. She's spent as much time with him as she has with me in her life. He really wasn't around her until he got visitation (cuz BM found out we moved in together and went psycho)...the courts ordered her to give him visitation, so we've pretty much "known" her for the same amount of time. Sigh, whatever. Pick your battles, I gave up on this one.

Okay, done venting now.