Dh didn't want any more children, his youngest was around 20 when he married BM. BM wanted one more and went off the pill without telling him and of course became pregnant right away. He immediately went out and got the big snip but it was too late. He regrets ever marrying her, his whole family hated her but he did it anyway. Why?? He has no clue, neither do I, I keep hoping there is some grand scheme in life that we are following to a wonderful place. That's what I tell myself when I get into the what-ifs.

~Evil

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

he never remembers having sex with her!!

she did get knocked up at an early age, they married because of it and she tricked him into the other two, well that is what I was told anyway.

and I think what if more than I would like too.

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

BF always thinks the same..."what was I thinking"...but we do try to refrain from thinking about what life would be like without his daughter...it's sad the BM's drive us to think that way because of how crappy the situation can get sometimes...but it's still a child that they made...and it's not her fault her mom is a biyatch...lol

DH (BF then) slept with BM the night before he came cross country to spend 2 weeks with me for the first time. This was after he moved out! Of course I didn't find this out till she announced that she was pregnant to BF sister. What he said happened was "she wanted me like she always did before I went out of town and I wanted to beable to control my libido with you so I did it." I asked him why he didn't use protection, he said cause she was on the pill and asked him NOT TO (while she was cheating on him she ALWAYS had him wear a condom.......was he stupid or what?). So I asked him how then did she get pregnant since his oldest (SD) was 9 and there had been no pregnancy using BC pills up till then. He said her response to him asking that question was that she was on antibiotics at the time and they mus have interfered with the pill. I still wonder to this day if SS is DH( and he has wondered the same) but loves him so much that it wouldn't really matter anyway and wants his kids to have the same father.....which honestly I think is commendable....
But THAT is how BM got pregnant with SS now 5. She got pregnant with SD now 15 by getting off the pill without telling DH, as they were young and he wasn't ready for kids yet. Should have been a wake-up call then eh?

Nothing comes easy thats worth fighting for.....thats what they tell me!

My dh and my mother-in-law both say she did it to hold on to him. There were 7 years between the last one & the prior child. She was an absolute IDIOT. He left two years later; it didn't work. She wanted this kid so badly, now she can't wait to pawn him off EOW. God forbid she miss a free weekend. This kid must feel it. And she calls herself a mother????? WHAT AN IDIOT.

Pretty much the only kind they had most of their 10 year marriage. Right before they conceived SD they had a fight, in which BM said if she had enough money she'd get in the car and drive home to her parents (from CO to OH.) DH said, "How much would that be?" BM said 150 bucks (she was only about 22 when this happened.) DH got out his check book and wrote her a check. She took off, but apparently turned around somewhere in Kansas.

DH still says if Kansas was a shorter state he might have been free of her all those years ago.

After they made up from that fight she found out she was pregnant. She wanted to terminate but he told her if she aborted his child then they were over. DH's values are the only reason SD exists. SD of course has no knowledge of this story.

Interestingly BM tells SD the only reason she only had SD was because she "Got the perfect baby the first time." In reality it's because she was not maternal at all.

Another good story is SD's first Christmas and birthday. SD was born in early Jan.

The next Dec DH and BM had a fight and BM tried to grab SD from him. He dodged her and BM fell down. DH turned and took off with SD to get away from BM, who had been abusive to DH in the past.

WHen he returned BM had called the police and had him arrested for domestic abuse. He was escorted in to retrieve things and had to go to a hotel leaving SD with BM.

He left for Ohio (they were still in CO) and went to his parents for the holidays. BM showed up at his parents door Christmas Eve, handed DH SD saying, "She's sick. You take her." Then went to her own family. DH took care of SD through Christmas then took her to ER the day after. SD had pneumonia and was admitted.
BM didn't see SD on her first Christmas.
BM never came to the hospital while SD was in.
BM didn't see SD on her first birthday.

DH went back to CO for the hearing on the domestic charge. BM didn't come back to testify and through an attorney dropped the charges.

Lovely story eh?

Peace, love, and red wine

My husband did the drunk and stupid thing, and now I'm paying for it all these years later. He only slept with BM (who he met at a bar) twice, both times when he was drunk. The day he was telling her he didn't want to see her again was the day she told him she was pregnant.

He had a blood test done once the baby was born and married BM six months later. They were divorced when SD was 2.

Both times were to try to keep him in the marriage when he was ready to walk. When he agreed to work it out with her, she magically became pregnant, even though she was supposedly on the pill. The first time he bought it. The second time, he knew better. He confronted her and she confessed to lying about the pill both times.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

he was under the influence and stupid in his younger days and BM was just convenient. He says she was a big mistake and a learning experience. Their marriage was doomed from the beginning. BM was 15 and pormiscuous. She cheated on him when SS was 1(DH caught her in bed with another man) and he took her back for SS sake. She continued to cheat behind his back and SD was born, but BM swears SD is his. To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if neither kids were his.

My kids biggest cheerleader

they were always drunk together. She also didn't want Precious and almost aborted him. My DH talked her out of it at the last minute. Rumor has it there have been others as well.

DH's son looks an awful lot like his half sister. DH introduced me to them both at the same time very early on when we began dating. I actually gasped when I first met them! They look so much alike, and the half sister is most definitely from another guy. Because we were just dating, I had nothing to gain or lose at that point and even asked my DH (BF then) if he had a paternity test done when the boy was born and he said no. If that would've been me, I would have. Especially since he claims the BM is such a whack job. To this day, I wonder if DH has been taking care of another man's child.

I'm asking for is some good old honesty served up fresh when I ask for it without the side order of hot tongue and cold shoulder!

honestly, i don't care. all i know is that even though he made a 'mistake' by sleeping with her and now our family is in this weird state with a very difficult SS adolescent on our hands, i would hate to think that someone out there thought 'my' child was a mistake. kids, at the very basic level, are gifts and are innocent in all this. i just wish the adults would smarten up. they-are the problem.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

I don't know and don't care either and even thogh my ex is an ass, I would not anyone to consider my kids mistakes either.

Georgie

I gave up trying to figure it out. DH is a sex fiend, had sex with BM, she got pregnant, tried to give the baby up for adoption, DH refused, BM seen a way to keep him, got pregnant right after with SS#2 and all was fine until 5 years later. They got married after SS#1 was born, divorced right after SS#2 was born, so what the hell?!?

If you ask DH, BM drugged him, had sex with him limp member and WHAM! became pregnant! 5 years later, so that makes SK#3. I suspect the truth is he wanted some, she offered and the rest is history!

~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~

he was so gullible when he was married to her..she wanted to have a baby so he went for it, even though their marriage was already going down the drain..now she says FSS was just a "bandaid" to try and fix their troubled marriage..yeah she's pretty brainless...

Right before DH and I married we had a horrible fight over why he had both kids with BM. DH had been married for 4 years to his 1st wife who is an alcoholic and mentally ill even as a teenager when they met. He caught her cheating on him while SS who was 2 at the time was neglected.DH said he just wanted to replace his family he had lost when he met BM#2 six months after his divorce was final. BM#2 seemed so "maternal" to him as he watched her play with her nephews- so different than BM#1. DH told me BM#2 told him she had to huury up and have a baby right away due to endometriosis- she might not be able to have if she waited. That resulted in SD21. Then it was "better hurry up and have another" and "if you don't give me another baby I will get it from another guy". Should have let her go for it!!! During the heat of the argument I asked why BM was so dumb and DH said," it is like she is retarded". My response was, "are you telling me you F%*cked a retarded woman?" BM is dumb but she is also a master manipulator for which we are paying for SD16. Needless to say DH was not present at her birth having been told to exit when BM was 4 months pregnant- given the opportunity to escape he did just that!!!

My HD was lonely wanted a date and was introduced and she went home with him the second time they met and became knocked up showed up a few weeks later and pronounced she was pregnant, so he proposed wanting to do the right thing. Marriage didn't cause love b/c there was no love to start with. Luckly marriage ended before another could be concieved. He admits it was dumb but he loves his child.

My husband was in his early thirties when he married BM . She was his first wife . I guess you could say his bio clock was ticking and he was wanting to get married and start a family of his own . She had been recently divorce and had a son from that marriage . DH said he knew she had some mental issues , but at the time didnt seem that severe . They married and had a son . When the baby was born he had medical issues and was in and out of the hospital. This is where DH realized just how messed up she realy was . He had put her through nursing school prior to their marriage .She would not help with the baby therefore DH was staying at the hospital with the baby and taking care of all the babies needs . Meanwhile she was having an affair with her boss while DH was at the hosp. She left when the baby was 4 months old . My DH married for all the right reasons and loved being a husband and father . He was so proud of his family . He had his heart in the right place , just picked the wrong person . We were friends and co-workers at the time . So I know why he had our son and why he married her . He was good to her , better than he should have been . She used him for a easy ride until she got what she wanted and left . He and I have been close for along time before we ever started a relationship . One of the things that I loved and admired the most was his love and dedication to his wife and family , and how serious he took his marriage . I hated seeing his life torn apart though the whole deal . I do not look at his previous marriage as a mistake and I always try to reashure him of that too , because we have a handsome loving son that came from that relationship . My husband often says he wish he never would have gotten involved with her and that he should have just waited for me . I told him that all the bad that we have had to endure in the past makes us appriciate how good we have it now .

Ughhh....I don't even want to think about it. FH got BM pregnant 2 mo. before we started officially dating. It was during their seperation. I mean what the hell was he thinking? He wanted a divorce yet he knocked her up? I mean come on. MEN. Oh boy was I upset and hurt when I found out he was having another kid with the Devil. I try not to think about it. Nor would I ever say to FSS that he was an accident because I love him dearly.

I just hate thinking about it.

"For the love of herself, she acknowledged her worth."