I love my MIL, I really do! She is a wonderful woman, very helpful, kind, compassionate, understanding, non-meddling...I couldn't ask for anything better...except for ONE thing! She makes it so VERY OBVIOUS that SD7 and SS4 are her FAVORITES! DH and I have a 3 month old and I can count on one hand how many times she has seen him - and that's because I have taken him to see her; however, she goes out of her way to make plans with BM to have a 'sleep-over' with SD and SS one day/week. Don't get me wrong - I don't want her to keep DS overnight, I just want her to make more of an effort to be in his life. We are very close to his family, but I have my feelings so hurt lately I just don't even want to be around her!

It's not just the sleep-over thing...there are also 3 other grandchildren from DH's siblings...she spends little to no time at all with them. When I asked her why she didn't have the others as much as she has SD and SS, she told me the others are just whiny and they cry for their mom. They are much younger (1, 2, & 3) and she just doesn't care for the 'baby' stage.

Another example: My DS9 wanted to 'skinny dip' in her pool because she is constantly talking about how SD and SS do it and they just LOVE it (we're talking kids here - nothing weird!) So DS asks her one day when I had taken him and the baby to see her. She said, "Oh no - no I don't think so! We are going to quit doing that at my house!" Not even 2 days later, she brings SD and SS home to my house after another one of her sleep-overs, and she starts talking about how the night before SD and SS got to skinny dip and night swim and how much fun they had...right in front of DS!! I quickly changed the subject because I was so angry, had I said something, it would have not been very nice and all kids were present. After she left, DS asked me why it was OK for them, but not him. I told him she must have just forgotten what she had told us the other day...and then I told him he should ask HER and see what she has to say about it...I'm interested to hear her excuse myself!

I talked to DH about it and he told me to talk to her..bring it to her attention...that he was certain she had no intention of hurting my feelings. So I did - I called her that day and told her we needed to talk! She came right over and long story short, I poured my heart out, cried, told her I wanted my baby to be as important as the other 2. She apologized and told me she didn't realize what she was doing...and that SD and SS were not her 'favorites' as she is a grandma and not allowed to have favorites. She said she was just trying to give me space so I could bond with my newborn...she didn't want to intrude. She said she would make more of an effort to see the baby and 'get to know him'.

So I had to come back to work this week...and DH is now taking his bonding time off...as well as keeping SD and SS all day while BM is at work. He only had SD and SS Tues and Weds this week...and guess who showed up on those 2 days to see 'the baby'...I'm not STUPID!!! She only came by to see SD and SS and used the baby as an excuse to be there.

I am so hurt..and I'm starting to get angry...and I know this is horrible and not their fault at all, but it is making me resent SD and SS. Like I said - I know it's not their fault, so please don't bash me for feeling the slightest bit of jealousy. I'm a big girl and I will get over it! Promise!

So - am I being stupid? Or do I have a valid reason to have my feelings hurt? She told me that my hormones are still raging and that's why I'm so 'sensitive and emotional'...that once everything goes back to normal, I will realize I'm making a something out of nothing...how hurtful...my feelings are nothing? Geesh!