Just have to share ...
Out of the mouths of babes ...
Today while SS4 was playing in the pool, out of the blue he said, “I can run away from mommy’s house to our house, right Trina?” I didn’t indulge his thoughts, but said “if you think you can run that fast, that would be a long way to run, why don’t you call daddy instead.” He said, “and then I won’t have to see mommy ever again?” I just kind of changed the subject cuz I didn’t know what to say.
About a month ago we had a conversation and SS commented on awedding picture of me and DH kissing, and said “that’s when daddy married you.” I said it was. SS told me that he was “never getting married" (he's 4). When I asked him why he said “because no one loves me.” I told him that when he “got older he’d find someone to love like I love daddy, and daddy loves me, and then he can get married” That’s when he said, “but who loves me now, Trina.” I was floored. I told him “I love you lots, and daddy loves you lots, and mommy and mommy's BF (Uncle) too.” He said “he’s not uncle BF, it’s just BF.” I laughed and asked why he didn’t call him uncle BFany more, and he said “because he’s not my uncle.” Obviously that has become an issue.
That same night SS said that “mommy yells at BF a lot.” He also said “this is my home, right Trina?” I told him “yes it was, and he had a home at mommy’s too.” He said, “I never go to mommy’s.” I asked where he slept if he didn’t sleep at mommy’s, he said “I always sleep at BF's house. This is my home, not BF's.” I just left the conversation at that.
I can't believe these things are coming from a 4yo. There are so many other things that he's said, like "daddy, it isn't fair that mommy won't share me with you more." It just amazes me and breaks my heart all at the same time. While some may think it's all fun and games at daddy's house (and we do have a lot of fun), but our household is very strict - even for a 4yo.
~ Katrina
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Comments
Kids are the heart of honesty
If you want someone to speak from their heart and break yours to pieces, then talk to a small child. Obviously mom is caring more about her little relationship with BF than her own son. Any chance of getting custody changed? It is so sad that you have to be the one to make sure he gets that maternal love, but I sure as hell understand!!!! You and DH provide him with the stable family unit that children yearn for. Don;t you wish sometimes that BM would just miraculously diappear from the earth????
Heck yeah!
We often make jokes about her disappearing ... but that too would break SS' heart. BB also plays mom to BF's two kids, so he really isn't getting any one-on-one time with BB. Even his daycare providers have said they think that is a problem.
We have filed a Petition to Modify to get more time during the summer with SS, but even our attorney says with ALL the neglect issues, it still isn't enough - his life isn't in danger. WHATEVER!!! So, we just provide the best life possible for him when we have him. Yes, he is spoiled, but he's also very loved and disciplined. It's so sad that the place he sleeps 6-nights per month is what he calls home. SIGH!!! No matter what he will have a home with us.
We know that by the time he is 6-10 he will be asking to live with us, and making her life so miserable that she won't want to have him there. We've got a plan with attorney and are just going to stick it to BB at every turn, maybe, just maybe, then she'll start being a resposible parent.
~ Katrina
I know exactly what you mean Mocha....
The things our kids have said over the years has had us in and out of court trying to change the parenting plan. I would document everything SS says....Kids are smart and they do start to see things for what they really are!
Doing that ...
I have two journals. One that says everything we did with SS from sun up to sun down (that was at DH's request). The other one is for those things that he says, does, or that he presents as problems (like blown out shoes, not clean, etc.).
Funny, for our upcoming hearing, I was reviwing both journals. I didn't realize that from the first time I met SS I didn't think she bathed him enough. It has been a comment I have made for so long. I know we just started giving him a bath on Fridays for good measure, but ... still I forgot a lot of the things that have been of concern, have been a concern for well over a year.
~ Katrina