Of course he's going to think so, thats his kid you're talking about! But to the rest of us, well at least me, no I don't think so one bit! Especially because you're pregnant! I was so irritable and short tempered, if I didn't like them BEFORE I was pregnant, they really had to watch out when I was (example - my mother!) So why doesn't he live with her?

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

and I wish he'd go and live with BM as well. Relationships with skids can be like banging your head against a brick wall.

It sounds like you may need sometime out from your SS. Does your hubby take care of him and deal with all the parenting issues? or are you the person that is acting more like the childs mother than what the father is?

It sounds to me that your hubby needs to take your pregnancy/emotions into consideration. Have you guys had a talk about this and how you are feeling towards your SS?

I wish so much for my SD to live with us but we can't afford to go through the battle to get her. Some other things come into play, but I wish wish wish wish I was in your spot right now.

Your feelings are natural though, it's hard. I heard someone explaine it like this:

You pick up your husbands underware on the side of the bed, and his socks, and his pepsi cans off the coffee table, etc. But if some other man, some stranger came into your house and expected you to do that you would be pissed. It's kindave the same with SK's. They aren't ours but we are instantly supposed to love them like they are. It's impossible.

My x tells me that his new girl and my son have a "bond" after meeting for two days.........once. No the hell they don't. I can tell you that from experience. It takes a little while to like your SK's, let alone love them, muchless have a "bond" with them!

I do love my SD, and I do think her and I have a bond. That's four years later with alot drama inbetween. It's a hard thing to do, but once you get there it's amazing..............and you can only get there if both parties are willing. If the wife, or the kids, refuse............it aint gonna happen!!

I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong, so please don't read it that way. I'm just sympathizing with you and I understand that I'm lucky and have a SD that does want a relationship with me......alot of others aren't so lucky.............and I remember being in those shoes.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

How old is your SS? Have you considered having a talk with him? My skids are 6 & 9 and they have been acting out quite a bit lately. We do have a good relationship but we go through rough patches. I think that you should sit him down and explain to him that you are feeling hurt that he is making things so difficult for you. Tell SS that you would like to have a better relationship and that you care about him.Honestly I had a chat w/ SS9 and SS6 about the way they treated me.Speak to SS at his age level.I have never been pregnant but I am sure you are going through so much now. I just think that most children have no idea that they are capeable of hurting adults feelings and usually if you make them aware they will stop.Try to open up to SS and maybe he will do the same.People have a basic need to hear and be heard. I hope that all goes well for you and your family.. BB

During the first year we had the kids (our first year of having custody of them) there were several times I wanted them out badly because they HATED us and felt like we were trying to ruin their lives. It took severel months for us to see small improvements in them; a year for us to see the first major improvement. I have to admit, I initially wanted to send them back to BM's.

However, my BM is just like your SS's BM. She can't take care of a goldfish, let alone a kid! So I had to get my DH to step up and I took some time for myself. I found hobbies that let me get out of the house. I run. I swim. I see friends, my dad, stepdad and my mom. I window shop. I walk the dog. My getting out of the house forced my DH to step up. Sending the SS back to BM shouldn't be an option, but your DH does need to help you out more with SS.

I know that does not help your current emotions and feelings but He may be terified of being pushed aside by you and DHs 'own' child. Perhaps reaffirming your love and devotion to him, letting him know you will always be there for him, will help alievate his fears, and help down the road when your baby is born. My SD has voiced many times how much she hates babies and thinks we should never have kids. She is fearful of being pushed aside by 'our' child, as well as being forced to be a babysitter (what her BM did when she had her son from another guy). So maybe assure the kid he is loved and life for will not change too much? good luck sound challenging

My SS16.5 would live with his Bm full time-it would not be so bad if SS16.5 had a life outside X-Box in our basement 24/7 and a DH who refuses to do anything about it!

How old is your SS? Mine was too old to "bond" with when we got him full time (14) -but I can be a trusted friend.

The good thing is that I only have to deal with BM EOW.

Hang in there-there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

I tell myself that all of the time. Sometimes I with that SD9 will go and live with her mom, but I do know that it is th ebest for her being with us. I also was pregnant and that is when she took a turn for the worse, she resorted into doing baby things, and even now, she still struggles with just being normal. But we get through it. I think your hormones are going because you are preggo to (congratulations by the way), but that is exactly how I was with my BD. Eventually it will settle - but it will take some time. However, it is very normal for you to have those feelings. I would talk to SS and let him know what you and BD expect of him, now and in the future. (((((hugs)))) I know how you feel.

We have SS and SD 50/50, and for me I would give anything to either have them with us full time, or with BM full time. For me, the back and forth with both parents being neutered from any decision making is hell on earth. When I was pregnant w/ BD all I wanted was for the skids to go away.....anywhere. Even after BD was born, I felt resentful that DH and his family were doting on the skids (not me, and not the baby) because the new addition might be "difficult" on them. I finally sat down and cleared the air w/DH and made him see that while I don't fault him for wanting to treat all 3 kids equally (they are his kids after all!), he in return couldn't fault me for not wanting to treat all 3 equally (because they aren't all mine!).

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

WOW, are you me?? hahaha. I'm in my final stretch with this pregnancy and I literally want nothing to do with SD. I don't even want to look at her. Awful? Yes. But if she went to go live with BM my life would be waaaaaaay less stressful. I've decided that no matter what, just gonna cringe and keep to myself until my baby boy is here, and then I'll have a 24/7 distraction.