"I know I'm being selfish when I let FSD3 stay up so late."

HALLELUJAH - I didn't have to be the one to say it. I didn't have to pick a fight or wait for another Attila the Hun event to point out to him that it's a BAD thing to let FSD3 stay up as late as she wants. I didn't even have to choose some other parenting flashpoint as a way to segue into the sleep issue. I am, in fact, dating a dad who knows exactly what parent fail does to a child.

The problem is, he's still depressed. He's still working through a ton of stuff. He's still not stepping up where he ought to step up (e.g. groceries, laundry, keeping a sort of clean house) and still won't make the connection between hypocrisy and the fact that he says he can't afford therapy even as he sinks endless amounts of cash into his motorcycle. He will still LET his kid stay awake late at night because he can't bear being lonely and he wants to win the fun parent award. So neither he nor FSD3 get to bed at a reasonable hour unless Miss Know It All is there flipping off the lights and closing the grownups' door.

Even so, I still love him. And after getting into it with him last night about how he hasn't put any work into our relationship, I'm at least assured that he's not pulling away from me or losing his attraction to me. I did bring up the Maybe-We-Don't-Need-Marriage-To-Be-Happy idea and he didn't immediately take it as a rejection -- but he did say he would NEVER have children with someone he wasn't married to.

So - one step forward and one step back. I wonder which was bigger.