I just posted a similar blog. Mine was about how my 5 year old step child (not married to the father but living together so technically "pseudo" step child) used to love me and now she doesn't. She started acting up a few weeks ago. Just wants to be with daddy and doesn't respond much to me unless we are alone. Recently she acted up and rammed me with her bike. Her dad told her to apologize and she said no because her mommy doesn't like me. This explains everything and how she has been behaving. All I can say is that it seems obvious to me that her mom badmouthed you somehow whether intentionally or to someone and she could hear. What you have to do is try and be strong. She is confused so just be loving and continue to include her as if nothing is wrong. It has nothing to do with her feelings as she is so young she is confused about how she feels. She wants to love you but doesn't want to turn against her mommy. As for your husband, he needs to get rid of the guilt ASAP. It's over, he's remarried, get past it or go see a counselor to get past it, he needs to GET IT DONE. If he operates from guilt he will end up being a different parent then if he was still in the house. Does he want that for his children? This IS affecting them. Also, he HAS a relationship with you also. He needs to balance your needs and his kids. Hell, you are the one that has to emotionally accept all of his baggage, the least he can do is listen to you when you ask. He is selfish for not looking out of your needs when you are on this blog site looking out for his and his children's.

Oh, I completely sympathize with you. I have been there and it only gets worse. I really wish I had taken the opportunity to stand up for myself with a 6 year old because I don't think I can with a 12 yo.

I wish I had drawn it to attention maybe by asking (when DH is there) "SD is something wrong, you aren't talking to me at all?" "SD can you give your dad and I a minute? we have something we need to discuss as grown ups?"

But once the habit is set in stone for 6 years you can't do much.

I think it's also an age thing w/ little girls and their Dads, at least with the hand-holding, I would invite her to hold Daddy's other hand. I never think it's a good idea to allow children to interupt or be part of 'Adult conversation', but perhaps if you suggest to DH that he put it to her in a 'nice way' like 'Daddy is talking right now, we'll talk as soon as I'm through'. Her attitude, well kids change so much from week to week, I'd just be pleasant and ride it out. Best of Luck

SS used to do things like this, or act like he was "playing around", but try to hit me for real. He still acts like a baby when he sees SO trying to show me affection, even though we have told him that he's not a baby. He also has tried to ask questions about what we talk about and interrupted, and both SO and I would tell him that we are not speaking to him, and it's really none of his business (he's great with minding it now, or at least he tries his best; sometimes I catch him eavesdropping but he won't repeat or dare ask what we are speaking about). I nipped it in the bud each and every time he tried me, after coming to this site.
At first, I didn't want to, because I felt like he wouldn't want to come over, or not love me anymore. But then, I started realizing that it doesn't really matter, because as a SM, we never truly get the love we want from skids anyway. So I prefer to let him know when things annoy me, and SO as well, because I refuse to live in a place where I am being disrespected by a child. It has gotten to the point now where I am looking for apartments because I need my own space away from them (SO still engages in behaviors I can't stand).
In your situation, I would talk to DH and tell him in a non attacking manner: "DH, I am worried about SD and her behavior. It seems like she doesn't have boundaries (give examples of her behavior, like the interrupting), and needs constant attention from you. I am afraid that she is going to grow up to feel like this is how she is supposed to interact with everyone, including our families."
You could also get the book Stepmonster and discuss it with him. He needs to know that his guilt parenting is not going to work out to the benefit of the skids in the future. They are just going to grow up to become entitled brats.

I am sorry to hear this...it's hard to feel censored in your own home. I have some of the same things going on in my home, but my husband is pretty fair and will call the SD out...I know many other's do not have the same luxury. I hope that you can find a way to get your hubby on board. I agree with looking at the book Stepmonster, I currently am reading it and it is very eye opening. Unfortuntately, when dealing with the BM's feelings towards you, you can't change those, but keep being the same loving, kind, fair, sometimes stern step momma you can and your SD will figure it out on her own. Good luck!!!!