I thought things were good with sd23
She got a FT job. Super happy for her. She works at a time she needs help with gs5. So I called her and told I'm happy to take gs5 anytime she needs me.
So gs5 stayed the weekend with us and I dropped him off last night. There was a little girl at sd's house I didn't know so I said "hey what's your name." She told me, then asked "who are you?"
I didn't know what to say since there are issues with Sasquatch not wanting gs5 to call me his grandma. So I studdered for a minute while sd looked at the floor.
I ended up saying I'm a relative of "GS 5." I was hoping she would speak up, but pretty much she stayed quiet and stared at the floor and then failed to thank me for keeping him this weekend.
So I realized my place again with her...
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If SD doesn't want him
If SD doesn't want him calling you Grandma, it isn't necessarily personal. Many Step parents on here deal with bio families not being comfortable with using those terms for family members who are not blood related. Can you ask your SD if there is an acceptable alternative if she is uncomfortable with it? Maybe something from Grammy LJ to Mee Maw, or something else?
I can understand how it could be hurtful, but I can also understand that if you are NOT actually Grandma, and there IS a "real" Grandma how she might feel that it either insults or is disloyal to the "real" Grandma. Considering that would be her Mother, it makes sense.
It just doesn't need to be a relationship ending or limiting deal, unless you make it that. Not wanting you to be "Grandma" isn't hateful or disrespectful. You just aren't Grandma. It's a fact. Her Mom is Grandma. And maybe SD feels very strongly that is how it should be, and you wanting to wear the label of Grandma is insulting to her. There is so much room for compromise here, and no need for hurt feelings.
As for the not thanking you,
As for the not thanking you, now THAT is rude.
I'm only 39...I don't want
I'm only 39...I don't want him to call me grandma. He usually calls me "Mr. LJCapp." It's funny...and he laughs when he calls me that - he thinks he's so funny
I'm happy with Mr. LJcapp. The issue is i thought Sd would say: "she's my stepmom" or this is "GS5's step-gma."
Like Lady face said I felt like an stranger or an outsider. She makes me feel like an outsider until she needs me for something. I really thought we had a mutual respect - but I was wrong. It just bums me out.
What peeves me is she
What peeves me is she couldn't even be bothered to say "thank you" for helping her out with GS5?? How freaking rude and entitled!
This is really minor crap
This is really minor crap compared to what SD18 has done/continues to do.
I never really wanted to matter to SD's, but GS5 is a big part of our lives. He is with us EOW and some weeknights. So I felt shit on by SD and I hope GS5 didn't pick up on the name game.
He was told by Sasquatch NOT to call me g-ma. In fact her disdain about GS5 calling my H a special grandparent name and me Mr. LJcapp warranted a late night text.
My Blog from September:
So last night, not a good night I feel like shit and just wanted to lay in bed.
A little history: SD23 moved back to our town with GS4. Since then and all the time before GS spends a lot of time with us, like almost every weekend.
I guess Sasquatch got wind that GS is staying with us this weekend so DH gets a text (a little too late at night.) Sasquatch is unhappy that GS calls DH a special name and only calls her 'grandma.' And "hopefully LJCAPP knows that she is only LJCAPP not a special name." NEVER has GS ever called me anything but LJCAPP.
Why can't her phone catch on fire - while she's on it??? Evil
What is it with these BMs and
What is it with these BMs and the grandma thing? A kid can never have too many grandparents. How selfish.
We don't see SD's kids that much so they really don't know me but to SD's credit, she has taught them that since DH is Grandpa (or Pawpaw, I think they use) that I am Grandma (or Meemaw or whatever).
Everything you do for GS5 and not only does SD not consider you a grandparent but she cannot even say "thank you"? She is just really rude.