IL's and SD are ruining my marriage
I swear I am at my breaking point. I feel like a total outsider, everything is only about SD with my IL's, DH won't stand up for me to his piece of shit dad. When DH gets mad at me he will call me by BM's name just to piss me off, and when I call him on it he will tell me he will stop calling me her name when I quit acting like her. Umm I'm not a trailer trash drug addict, so in other words I act nothing like her. All my IL's care about are shoving SD down my throat, every time I talk to them they read a script about how wonderful she is, how well mannered she is (NOT), and how horrible her mother is. Then in the next breath they will tell me how much they USED to like BM and they can't believe how she turned out, and blah, blah blah. I swear I could play a recording of them bc it's the same line over and over. Don't they realize this makes me hate the situation all the more? I think all the time how good my life would be with my beautiful little boy if DH had never laid down with that disgusting BM bc now my son and I will never be as important and will always have all this drama, if it wasn't for BM and SD my IL's and I would get along so much better. Every fight we have is about THEM. I just don't know what to do anymore and it has all really come to a head this week.
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Comments
I'm sorry, but if my SO
I'm sorry, but if my SO referred to me as BM, even once, I'd hit the pavement. There is no way I would put up with that. It's emotional abuse and he's using it to control you.
Oh no buddy!! You want to
Oh no buddy!! You want to call her name? You will have a reason to call it because it'll be here or someone else putting up with you and your parents shit bc it WILL NOT be me!!
I think her DH is calling her
I think her DH is calling her by BMs name when he gets mad.. which makes it all the worse! how disrespectful and rude, I would call that emotional abuse. I'd kick him in the nuts next time he did it and then start calling him Sally. What a jerk.
Everytime he calls you by
Everytime he calls you by BM's name call him a "name" back. Pick one:a.tinydick b.pussy c.twat d.c**t e.dickbreath. Don't even let it bother you, ie "OK, Pussy, dinner will be ready at 6!" or "Twat, if you're going to the drugstore please pick up some bandaids! Thanks Twat!" }:)
This is ridiculous and
This is ridiculous and childish. Come on now, how old are we? DH is being totally disrespectful. So calling you her name is going to solve the issue I suppose. Adults do not resort to this type of foolishness, they rationalize until they find a solution to solving the problem. The next time he does it, call him a few names and see how he likes it.
Also, regarding your ILs, you can't stop them from pinning bouquets on SD . . they love her. So if you don't want to hear it, stop talking to them or change the subject . . plain and simple. If they continue, then stop communicating with them. Most ILs never see the side of SDs we see. My ILs would be mortified to know some of the things SD pulled on me.
Finally, my DH and I used to argue constantly about SD because she made it her life mission to cause me hell when she lived with us. I realized that if I wanted to save my marriage, I'd have to start keeping my mouth shut. I disengaged from her and stopped complaining to him. I found peace of mind and she recently moved out. It is indeed time to take a stand.
I got some really good advice
I got some really good advice here, thank you everyone, it's so good to hear that I am not the crazy one in this trainwreck