OMG. OMG.
OH My God. Oh my dear God.
You may aready know I was concerned last night when I found out that 3 girls not 1 where coming over. Well the 3 of them come bouncing in this house like there is a parade. I asked the 16 year old, what's going on, why are your sisiters here too? Don't you have school tomorrow?. She explains nothing's wrong. School will most likely be cancelled again because of the snow and my sister's wanted to come here.
I guess it was the girls that asked BF if they can come, he said as long as it's ok with BM, they must have told BM, and BM called BF saying, what's going on?, what are you up to? Whatever.
Ok, OK, no problems, everything is ok. Right. right. F#CK NO.
BF went to bed early (wiped out form shoveling 4 foot snow drifts at work). I put the 9 y.o to bed next. The 16 y.o was on the phone with her BF and the 12 y.o came in the kitchen to talk to me. It was the first time we talked alone in many months.
She began spilling her guts about how much she dislikes her house and the way she is treated by her Mother. Now the kid is in full blown tears. She admits she would rather live with us, but knows her Mother would never allow it. The 16 y.o. then joins us talking, confirms everything the other said. Feels the same way. Then, they proceed to drop the bomb on me.
The 14 y.o. put a knife up to the 12 y.o.'s face 2 nights ago.
That's it. I'm done. Correct me if I'm wrong. Action needs to take place today!!!!!
BF had to go into to work for a few hours this morning. The girls are staring to wake up. I need to know if they want us going to bat for them. Or f#ck it, and I don't care what they say. We do what we got to do.
I want to take a bat to BM f#cking head. How much longer are we suppose to sit here and do nothing. I mean weeks ago the 9 y.o. fell off the porch roof. I thing these kids are in emotional and physcial danger.
PLEASE GIVE ME FEED BACK.
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Comments
Well, I think the first
Well, I think the first thing to do is call a family meeting.. You and BF talk to the girls as a group about what you've heard.. and then talk to them INDIVIDUALLY about what they want to see happen. I say individually because there shouldn't be pressure from the other kids to influence what they say. Without the kids on your side there's really no point in going further, because BM will coach them to lie (or they'll do it on their own to protect her).
Then you and BF really need to sit down together and decide how far you're willing to take this. Take some time to really think about the impact of having 2 teen and 1 pre-teen girls in your house full time. The stress that will cause to both of you and your relationship. And really consider honestly, if you can survive that. Know that it isn't going to be a picnic.. even if you do "rescue" them from their mom. They're still kids after all and they'll wear on you.
Then go from there. Talk to a lawyer maybe and see what your options are.. what the chances of you winning are.. that sort of thing. Do your research, take the time to discuss before jumping into anything.
You're not in a good position, so try to keep your head up, and keep communication open between you, your bf and the skids!
Stepup
This is out of control...
I think you need to do what you feel is in the thier best interest. I can't even imagine how hard it would be to have 3 teenage girls in the house though... wow. That's a lot of stress. Not to mention the battle to get there. Just be positive that they aren't exaggerating, you know? To get attention? But, if you really feel like they are in serious danger than I say go for it. What does BF think of it? Has he said anything or given you his take on the situation?
Resources
Check online for resources in your area for dealing with domestic violence, because this qualifies. (It's not just dad beating on mom and kids, it's ANY violence in the home.) Child Protective Services may be able to give you some good resources. Not saying you should file a report with them and have the home evaluated, although that may be an idea, just that they do other things, like give out helpful info and refer you to local resources.
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
An update
First off, this is not the first time the 14 yo has pulled a knife out.
The girls told me that the 14 yo threatened them into not tell their Bm. I was very proud that they did open up to me. (Knowing this BM -she'll be more mad at the fact the girls told me than the fact her daughter pulled a knife on her other daughter.)
Anyway we took the girls out for lunch and I let BF talk alone with the 12 yo. We dropped off the other two and kept her here for tonight. BF put a call into BM. we are waiting for BM to call back and BF will tell her the situation.
Trust me, it's not like I want to take on 3 more kids full time, but there has got be to a way to get though BM's head she needs to start taking responsibility for these girls.
sorry it took me so long to awnser
I was on vaca- I think you need to do what's best for the kids- It's hard I know we went through it- but no one will protect them except you and b/f - document everything - it helps in court to have dates so you cannot be called liars and do whatever you need to-