Im Tired.... And therefor emotional 36 weeks pregnant..
Had my baby shower... took the time to go on a website and make a registry also tell everyone what we had. We bought all the big stuff for the baby and where just in need of the small things. You know clothes, blankets, shampoo... that sort of stuff. I got home ridiculously late last night and of course didn't sleep last night so when I went through all of the stuff with my bf on the phone we realized we had no clothes, no blankets, no receiving blankets... (I do however have clothes for 3 months from now and all sorts of things for when my baby starts eating). Ug know I am complaining and maybe I am acting like a spoiled brat but I burst into tears. We are living paycheck to paycheck and I almost feel that I wasn't clear enough so now its my fault that we are going to have resort to hand me downs. My immediate was thought was my baby isn't even born and Ive already failed. Sigh maybe I just need to sleep. Im sure I just need to sleep I guess I just needed to type this all out to get it off my chest so I could do some cleaning and go to bed. Thanks for listening.
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Oh and before I get a bunch
Oh and before I get a bunch of people jumping down my throat about how I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. My bf and I where financially stable when I got pregnant... then SO's work completely slowed down and I had to go on early mat leave. The one positive is that work is getting busy for SO. I guess the crappy part of that is he will most likely have to leave right after I have our baby.
Ug I know its just I wish my
Ug I know its just I wish my son would be treated the same way the others skids are. Its incredibly frustrating. And with everything else we have on our plate. What I mean about hand me down is people giving me their old clothes. I am worried about cheap sleepers that's the issue. I wish I could just be happy and not have to worry about going to walmart to get a dozen sleepers. But ontop of everything else I just don't know how we will do that. So sick of struggling to go shop at the cheapest place I possibly can for the plainest of plain things to provide.
Most of all I am frustrated with getting everything I didn't ask for that I will use 6 to 12 months down the road when we will be fine financially.
Sick of feeling angry watching my skids get spoiled rotten at the expense of our family. I don't want to resent them and I certainly don't want to be angry anymore. I just want to have some portion of my pregnancy be happy!
Arent you supposed to be happy? I feel like I am leading this fake life of "oh im sooo excited and I love my baby and my pregnancy... Everyone keeps telling me "hope you are enjoying your pregnancy". How much more can I possibly fake this!
Thankyou ladies I know you
Thankyou ladies I know you are right and everything will be fine. It was just that first crushing realization of OMG I have 6 sleepers and 2 outfits. lol not to mention I could go into labor next week and it would be considered a birth at full term. This constant feeling of how are we going to afford that is so draining. I suppose I should have done a shower earlier so it didn't feel like this. I guess I just expected "I need clothing" to actually be listened to.
You guys are right second hand clothing is not that bad... I need to just be appreciative that I get to experience this. I am really worried about finding some though. We live in a town where the second hand stores are more expensive then going to walmart. Which is the only place to shop lol.
I didn't get any receipts...
I didn't get any receipts... I have a couple of things I could take back but do not even recognize where they would have been bought from. My baby shower was 3 hours from where I live. We live in a small town that has a wall mart. No one gave gift receipts though is it rude to ask for them? Even at that it might not help us much it may cost us more to drive to exchange then just deal with our situation.
Check walmart.com for things
Check walmart.com for things that you have duplicates or don't need, if it is on there you can return it to the store with no receipt and they will give you a store credit. You can use it to get clothes/blankets/diapers etc.
I always did very well at second hand stores, especially with clothes. I actually talked to the owner and told her the big ticket items I was on the hunt for and she called me when someone brought in a pack and play and swing etc.
Thank you... really I dunno
Thank you... really I dunno why but you just made me feel 10x better!
Your going to need those
Your going to need those bigger clothes before you know it. Hand me downs, eBay, thrift shops make greater financial sense. Babies do not wear out newborn clothes. They grow out f them too fast to wear them out. I think you will find second hand baby clothes are near new. Your making a mountain out of a molehill because your tired and a bit overwhelmed. The baby will come, you won't take t out in the pram naked, no one else has so why would that happen to you. It will all work out. Stop focussing on what the skds have, it's not changing anything and it's causing you unnecessary stress. Go find a good thrift store or shop n eBay for your beautiful new baby and enjoy what's left of your time before the birth. All too soon your going to be running around wth a child, so take some time to relax now and stop worrying. The clothes will come.
I guess its just hard because
I guess its just hard because I don't see when the clothes are just magically going to appear... Friday is pay day.. Been having contractions just seems like nothing is coming together. Not to mention I don't have thrift stores where I live. Thrift stores where I live are more expensive then walmart as I said. There is no value village/sally ann. It is more frustrating, discouraging and frankly I don't even feel like going shopping at this point. Oh to top it all off my vehicle is in the shop and SO is away working if I walk more then a block I get more contractions! Lovely... I get what you mean SO will come home we will go shopping it will be fine. The fact that I have to sit at home with Braxton Hicks and wait for SO to get home from work in 2 days in order to get what I need to feel prepared is less the pleasurable. We have a first outfit I am not worried about bringing home a naked baby I am worried about having to do laundry every 2 days with SO skids running around and my overbearing mother who is insisting on coming and staying for 2 weeks RIGHT after I deliver. I don't have the heart to say no and I am sure at some point I will be happy she is there... OMG I just realized the laundry room is attached to our room sleeping doing laundry every 2 days should be fantastic. I think it is time for bed
I appriciate the input I do
I appriciate the input I do bur thst wasnt really what I was trying to get at all I am sure we can scrounge up the funds to go to Walmart. Frankly I dont think at any point I would buy second hand clothes having no idea who its from or what state they are in. Regardless... ordering is not an option... cant really gamble with time at this point in the game. Not to mention no credit available.
We have done that... SO is
We have done that... SO is not off spending money on skids. The fact is skids have gotten spoiled then we get pregnant and all the sudden I am having to stress over every penny spent and try to spread it as think as possible in my eyes its just not fair. I am very upset and tired with it. I am sure everything will be fine. Like I said it was that utter moment of omg I have failed my child.... how is it possible to come home with 5 FULL bags and not have one sleeper or onsie that I can use for my baby as a newborn when I thought I made it clear thats what we needed. It made me feel like the most inadequate parent on the face of this earth!
I have clothing coming to me
I have clothing coming to me rhat was the first thing I did when I figured out i had nothing. The fact that I had to go there is a complete let down for me. I will be able to scrounge up some newborn clothing. The fact is I thought I was done. I thought I had pretty much everything I needed. I thought I was going to have a few nice things for my baby boy. Just the initial shock of realizing that I actually have nothing and now have to do more nicle and diming and more shopping and more stressing just caused a complete emotional break down that is it! I do know my options but what I also know is this baby could show up tomorrow. I guess I was supposed to be done! It makes me feel like a horrible parent to be scrambling when I could technically deliver tomorrow. And it makes me feel evwn worse that I was obviously not clear on what I needed what kind of parent honestly could go into labor tomorrow and has 6 sleepers and 2 outfits! I just feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I have failed already. Even though I have already arranged to get hand me downs. They arent going to just appear our of thin air tomorrow or any time this week!
Thank you for all of the pointers I have thought of those things. I just thought I wouldn't have have to resort to 2nd hand clothing so I guess the sudden reality check really threw me emotionally for a loop. SO and I had previously agreed that our main goal was to at least stick to new even if we had to go for "walmart specials". That is what we have given the skids and we both feel that that is what our baby should get. It just hurts to go back on that. Especially since we have never had to go this low. Now all the sudden its my first baby and we have to go there... just wish it had worked out differently.
You're having Braxton Hicks,
You're having Braxton Hicks, you're not sleeping well, you're a hormonal cocktail, and your DH is out of town? Give yourself a break! This is not your best moment.
You will figure out the baby clothes - you've gotten practical suggestions but you know what, I had TONS of clothes for a newborn all nicely arranged in a drawer, had the baby and wouldn't you know it, she was so big I needed clothes for a 2-3 month old. We had brought a newborn outfit to the hospital, so we just stuffed her in and brought her home. That day my husband and his sister went shopping for new clothes for her, just a couple of outfits, but enough for the moment.
And my entire pregnancy people kept telling me to enjoy it too. It was like they were talking a foreign language - wtf is there to enjoy? But my friends all talked like being pregnant was so great that I thought I was the nutty one. Same with the first few weeks after the baby came. It was at about 3-4 weeks that I felt like I was really building a bond, before that, it was work. For everyone it's different, the most important thing I learned through the entire process was that every mother's experience of pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and child raising is as unique as fingerprints. Don't let anyone tell you what it 'should' be like... not even your own thoughts!
A lot of the pressure and
A lot of the pressure and anxiety you are feeling is completely normal. In all likelihood even if you had a complete wardrobe of shiny new newborn outfits, chances are you would still panic that something wasn't ready or perfect. The nesting instinct that drives women to prepare for the birth of their baby is a powerful force, especially when it's your first. Before you have your first you feel like everything must be perfect and ready before the baby arrives as though everything stops at the birth. Honestly I remember feeling very stressed that everything couldn't possibly be ready, and also quite angry that the entire house wasn't immaculate and perfect. It's just nerves and hormones. You have 6 sleepers and 2 outfits, that is plenty to start with. Mine lived in sleep suits for months, we had a mix of new stuff and clothing friends had give me. By the time I got to babies 2 and 3 80% of their stuff was hand me downs. Apart from the occasional milk dribble newborns stay surprisingly clean, they just lie there looking cute, sleep, and feed. And they sleep a LOT for the first few weeks. There will be plenty of time to launder baby clothes if necessary, and even go out to the shops! You are NOT a failure, you have loads of stuff ready, and once your baby arrives and you fall totally in love all this anxiety will be a distant memory. Wishing you lots of luck.
Ok, you don't want cheap
Ok, you don't want cheap clothes but you are going to Walmart to buy your baby new clothes???? That's funny to me. Just because the clothes are new from Walmart doesn't mean they are good quality. I have bought better clothes from the Salvation Army than Walmart. My son is 2 months old. He has outgrown so many clothes, it really isn't logical to buy "new". All of his clothes are hand me downs. I think you are getting stuck on something that isn't really that important. He has gone through newborn, 0-3 months, and is already starting on 3 months. If you are living pay check to pay check, you need to focus on the more important things your baby will need.
Wow ok its new day with no
Wow ok its new day with no mistakes in it right? ! Everything is fine... everything I did get will be used... it was just a meltdown and no I dont feel great about being so unprepared it was simply frustrating.
I have been nesting as well... been cleaning for a week lol. This pregnancy has been nothing but stressful as we moved last month aswell. Was the house clean when we moved in? NOPE! Did SO put any effort in to help me actually clean it NOPE (which is fine because there is a large difference between nesting cleaning and normal cleaning). Is the baby room done? NOPE! Is the hospital bage ready? NOPE! I think you get my drift lol. So when I get home and discover I can only use a small portion of the things I received when actually bring home my baby it most definitely causes a complete meltdown.
To be clear I do have ways to get clothes but not any time this week. It just feels so wrong to find myself 36 weeks, braxton hicks for the last two weeks, SO out of town, vehicle in the shop, and figure out now I STILL have shopping to do... that I cant do until I get my vehicle. It makes you feel like a horrible parent even now rested up.
There is some great advice above and those are things I have considered and SO and I have agreed we are against we feel we should be able to give our baby new things. When I say new things I dont mean all new but we are not going to be searching out used sleepers that we will use for a span of 3 months. Frankly I am done searching and stressing over every penny... at this point walmart it is and worst case scenario a cab would be pretty cheap! Maybe not the nicest things but new regardless. Like I have said i do not have thrift stores here either. I cant order because heaven knows when that will come and i cant do kijiji type thing because i have no transportation. I do have people giving me a few things so I have rounded up the troups and hopefully will be set by the end of the week. Even saying that makes me feel sick to my stomach but just how it is!
End of the day thankyou so much for the support rwally I just needed to hear a couple of your stories to realize I will never feel prepared and thats NORMAL. oh go if I can feel like my emotional turmoil is some what normal I can feel better about it...