I utterly despise that saying, I was with my DH for 4 months before I met his children..Yes I knew he had them and no at first I didnt mind, because I was thinking hell I love my stepfather more than anything..He provided for me raised me as his own, so my stupidity was still in effect..Then the day came I met his children the two oldest were great the youngest was still really shy said not awhole lot..The girl and I clicked talking and laughing,so still in my IM FULL OF SHIT MODE thinking its gonna be like me and my father..Im thinking okay this is really good NOT...It has been anything but good, its been hell..And I feel in love with my DH before I met his children and thats something I cant help nor can you for that matter..Just because we love these men doesnt mean we have to love or want his children..I know I dont love or want them as my own.. well I am pretty fond of his youngest son, but still his daughter I cant stomach her..So I know exactly how you feel Laura..NO it does not by any means make you a bad person just a normal person with normal feelings in my book...

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..

I myself didn't want to be involved with a man that had children, I had children but I didn't want to have to deal with all of the problems with the ex and sk's. I married a man with 3 kids, he too chased me and I truly love him and I do care for his kids, but I don't want to be their mom either. They have a mom, no matter what a mess she is, that is there mom. I have my own children and would never have that bond with anyone that I do with my bc. But I did not want to give up someone that I love so much, we work through the hard times and just remember that they will grow up and have there own lives and and in the end we will have each other. We put our marriage first and we make the kids lives as best we can, we support them, encourage them and give them guidance. We work together and that seems to be working well. Being a sm is the hardest job I think I will ever have, but if I make at least a small difference in there life then I know I have done something right.

"Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this."

I didn't meet SD now 16 until my FH and I had being out for a year and a half because she lives out of state. I like her she is a nice kid and we get along well but she was 13ish when I met her and she already has a mom and I treated her as I would one of nieces or nephews. I don't love her or want to be her mother. I LIKE her and think she is a pleasure to be around. When she is here I am very fortunate because my FH tells her to pick up after herself, help out around the house etc. He does not spoil her at all except for once that I could think of a long time ago. I also have a BS22 and he and my FH get along really well and they are cool with each other but I don't expect them to love each other. As long as everyone gets along great. I have had people tell me well you know what you were getting in to when you date someone with kids but in our case I had no problem with the kid it was the BM that was crazy and people that are not in the same situations as we are do not understand the BS that goes on. My FH chased me for YEARS and I even dumped him a few times. I signed up for SD but I did not sign up to deal with a crazy BM that is a controlling, manipulative freak that has never moved on for 16 years!