Worried about the things BM is telling SD.
BM has been telling SD some things and DH and I think it's a bit inappropriate for a child.
BM saw SD on Sunday and gave her a couple of late birthday presents and a card. In the card BM talks about how much she loves SD and that SD can not fully understand how much BM loves her until SD has a child of her own. Then BM goes on to talk about how BM promises that this time next year her(SD) and BM will not be in this predicament.
BM has also been texting SD quite a bit since Sunday telling SD that BM is going to get a parenting investigator involved and SD is to tell the parenting investigator that SD hates us, hates it here and that she is miserable and that SD wants to live with her mom again. BM has also been telling SD that BM will get her back soon and that SD will live with BM again soon.
Goodluck with that BM! I mean, really, the parenting investigator will love to see the open CPS case against you and would love to see that youre going to get sentenced to jail on the 30th for your 5th domestic violence assault! Yeah, goodluck, broad!
DH is thinking about sitting SD down and explaining to her that living here is permanent and that the only thing her mom is going to get is overnights EOW in the far away future. He also wants to text BM and tell her to knock off all the court related texts or he will remove her number from SD's phone and limit phone contact through him. I think DH should not tell SD anything and let her see for herself that BM is a liar. He just doesn't want SD to get hurt.
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Comments
absolutely he should take
absolutely he should take block bm's number! that is NOT ok. how old is your SD?
don't wait to talk with SD read Divorce Poison and there is a video series by a the same man, "Welcome back pluto" and it's all about how to handle a child who is being PASsed.
this is a big deal and should NOT be happening! she is making her child miserable, not something a child should have to deal with!
SD just turned 10 last month.
SD just turned 10 last month. I agree that she is making her daughter miserable by telling her these things.
We have supervised visits set
We have supervised visits set up for BM. Part of that is so that the person supervising can monitor what is being said . So that BM can not make misleading comments like "when you come and live with me." or "when this is all straighten out." Anything that could cause the child to think things are going to change. When I saw your last post. I was wondering why the card was given to SD in the first place. I thought they were suppose to be opened and read just for that purpose. Maybe all places don't follow the same rules. We told ss that his Bm was not following the rules and until Bm followed the rules he would be with us. Does your Bm have Sv with SD?
Yes. She has supervised
Yes. She has supervised visits with a "guard" in the room. He monitors what is being said and interrupts when needed. Obviously, the card was either read silently, or opened up here later. DH is going to ask BM to stop talking about things like this and if she chooses not to cooperate, DH will block BM's phone number and they will talk on DH's phone, using speaker.
Thats what I would do also.
Thats what I would do also. If ya'll are letting them commuicate by phone. We don't have to let SS talk to Bm on the phone because her order is only for supervised visits. SS was little when ours started. I think it would be different if he had been older. And I thank God he hasn't gone though what some of these kids have gone through. Most of our bad stuff SS doesn't remember. So if BM were to ever get a good life and could prove it by action and not words. We would probably give her another chance. So far that hasn't happen. Shes not even going to the sv now.
You know, I'd almost be
You know, I'd almost be tempted to NOT block the number on the phone.... if you have text messages of the BM telling SD to do/say those things, then that's pretty much proof of what she is trying to do. Can't you turn those texts over to someone?
I can understand blocking because SD shouldn't be exposed to that crap. But if BM is dumb enough to text it, then you should by all means use it against her. She's digging a hole and burying herself.