This may get long, I'll try to keep it consise...3 skids (SS17, SD16, SD14) and 2 DDs (DD3, DD2) DH is primary, skids go to BM's every other weekend (other than SS17 he always stays with us becuase he works in our town). BM used to be very absent mom, would pass skids off to her mom on her weekends, constantly ask for swtiches, or late pick ups, etc. She then had a baby with her BF and they moved in, since then she's become....better. DH and I still do all appointments, any school issues, etc. Because of this, and because BM lives an hour away and works in medical feild (where she cannot access her phone constantly during work) DH always put himself and me on contact forms for the school (I beleive he listed BM as emergency contact).

Anyways! A few weeks ago SD14 apparantly made a joke (so she claims) to her friend during class about "ending it all" which the teacher witnessed and sent her to the counselor. The counselor talked to her, she claimed she was not suicidal, but probably depressed, and counselor sent her home on the bus. Counselor then called me (maybe he thought I was mom? I don't know really, but he gave me the cliffnotes and offered to connect us with counseling services. The counselor then emailed ME to set up an appointment, which I worked with DH on when we would go and he told BM to keep her in the loop. Well now BM has decided she's coming to the apointment and I do not like dealing with her :( 

This appointment is just an initial meeting with the counselor, without SD14, just to give the counselor our thoughts/impressions/info on SD14. After this we'll set up a meeting for SD14 to have an appointment by herself. I was on the fence wether I wanted to even go to the appointment initially (before I knew BM was going) because I wasn't sure I'd be needed since DH will be there. After thinking about it, I decided to go because I feel like DH and I have different veiws/ relationships with SD14, and I figured it might be useful for the counselor to have more points of veiw on the situation. So I made the appointment at a time where DH and I could both go (DDs still in daycare). Now I'm seriously regretting putting myself in a situation where I have to be in a room with BM and communicating with her. We don't have a bad relationship, but we dont' talk, and it's just awkward and uncomfortable, and stresses me the HELL out. 

Guess I'm just looking to vent, I know many of you will probably tell me to not be so involved. I do try to limit my involvemnt, but I do things when I feel that they'd actually be helpful and appreciated. I do care about my skids and want good things for them. 

Oh and considering I've been communicating with the counselor to set up the appointment, I'm sure she'll assume I'm mom, and then when BM walks in it will have to be this whole awkward explaination...