When I first met my fionce he was still on good terms with the BM (aside from her resenting him for not taking her back and choosing me)But once he moved out of her parents house and into the house he bought to live with me, he has hated her and they are not on speaking terms. He has led me to believe that her hate for me wasn't as simple as her just being the ex but more like her being the psycho ex. Any time I have said anything positive about her (which wasn't often) he would flip out and state that she will never change, that shes going to come after him someday. He truly believes she is crazy enough to attack him. Maybe she is.

One day after logging onto facebook I see she sent me a friend request. Out of pure curiosity I accepted. We sat as silent friends for about a day or so when I decided to be the bigger person and take the plunge. I sent her a nice e-mail stating simply that I thought we should be civil for at least the childs sake, since I am now a big part of his life as well. Actually I am more a part of his life than she is. SS is only almost 3yrs old and he lives with me and fionce. SS only see's BM every other weekend. She lives with her parents (shes 19yrs) and its her father, SS's grandpa, who we communicate through. He picks SS up from our home friday evening then drops SS back off to our home sunday afternoon.

Anyways she writes me back agreeing and being quite pleasant about the whole thing. I get even more curious so I started up a chat with her. We went on and on about random things dealing with SS and finally I felt I needed to tell her that her son has started calling me "mumma". She took it okay I guess, as far as chatting over the computer goes. She said she understands that he would since I am such a big part of his life now.

The point of this blog is that now that we've become "friends" on facebook I find myself snooping around on her page. I never used to care so much, sure she was a hassle for like the first 5months of my relationship but once fionce moved out of her parents house and started his life with me shes been fairly non-existent to me. But the reason for her not getting her son so much isn't because of some court agreement, its simply because she doesn't care. They never went to court. She would rather go out and party with her friends than see her own son. She is into drugs and drinks (underage since she is only 19) and her friends are all bad news. All are druggies and partiers. I know that she is only 19 and still immature but I myself am only 22 and feel more like a mother to her son than she is. I don't drink or go out anymore because I'd rather be at home with Fionce and SS.

Just today we got SS back from staying with her and her parents for the weekend and already I have looked through her pictures and around her wall to see what she did with him. I hate the thought of her bringing him around her friends who are bad influences. Fionce thinks I'm being crazy but it was him who put these bad thoughts of her into my head and now that I know what kind of person she is it scares me. Fionce says that shes at least smart enough to not bring SS around her friends but I have seen proof in her pictures! I know that me being only a step mom that I don't have much say, I can't tell her she can't take her own son around those people. But Fionce can and he doesn't seem to do anything! I feel like I care about SS's safety more than him and BM sometimes!

I just wish that SS was biologically mine so I could keep him away from her! but at the same time I wish she would just GROW up and take more responsibility so I can have a life with Fionce without SS. Am I crazy or what?