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Conflicted

KiFire's picture

I've gone back and forth about posting this. On one hand, I want to share it because it made me laugh a bit, at the same time, it's not really a GOOD thing. There's also that you all may write me off as crew now, but.. yeah it's not. I'm not bored with my life and messing with you all, promise.

BM2 is SD5's mom, she is also living with and has two children with BS4's bio-dad. They started dating after FDH and I were already living together. We didn't think they would stay together but here we are years later and that's our life. It usually doesn't come up much since Bio-dad isn't involved with BS4. Yes, BM2 knows about the stuff with BS4, she was the one who called DCFS. No, I have no idea why she would decide he's a good life partner.

Bio-dad not paying his CS has come up once between FDH and BM2, she was bellyaching about how much soccer costs and asked FDH for money to help her pay for it. He pointed out that he was already paying for dance and girl scouts, and didn't agree to more activities. He also tossed in that since Bio-dad wasn't paying his CS that we didn't have any extra right then. FDH let BM2 know that she should take Bio-dad off any bank accounts so her stuff isn't affected by his arrears. For having a 'relationship square' we have pretty good boundaries, it never came up again.

I guess SD5's school has the kids make a savings account and the kids bring in money on certain days to add to their accounts. According to BM2 there had to be two adults on every child's account. So instead of putting FDH on it, or even letting him know this account existed, she put my ex down as the other adult. FDH warned her in July, and in September she puts the guy on an account. She called FDH blubbering and bitching two days ago because she received a letter from the bank stating that SD5's acocunt has been levied to pay bio-dad's CS arrears. She wants US to stop the state from doing this, and blames ME for making them do this to SD5.

I have no control over what the state does, I didn't do this to SD5. I didn't put his name on anything, BM2 did. I assume she blames FDH because he is the one who gave her a heads up, he only knows this can happen because it happened to him once with BM1 years ago. No, I'm not HAPPY this happened to SD5, I am sorry that SD5 has now been caught up in this guys stupidity. but I am happy that something finally bit him in the ass, and not in a quiet way he can sweep under the rug. They will have to explain it to the school, and the relatives who have been putting money in the account for SD5. They will have to admit that he is a deadbeat and that she is a moron since she was WARNED not to put his name anywhere until he paid off the arrears.

Comments

KiFire's picture

Yeah, I told this to a friend and evidently was a little too amused sounding when I told her... because she got on me for being mean and how could I smile about something that hurt SD.

I figured here would be a safer place to share my sick glee. Because I'm damned happy this is finally affecting someone HE cares about. It affecting me and my son doesn't matter to him at all, but you can bet your ass now that it's affecting 'his family' he will do something about it.

luchay's picture

Your friend really has no idea.

Sorry.

No, it's not fair to your SD - but YOU didn't do this, her stupid mother and her deadbeat Step-dad did.

And YOU have been raising your kid (and his) with NO help or support for HOW many years?

How dare your friend get pissy at you.

End of rant...

QueenBeau's picture

Well, I'd be ready for SD to come to your DH angry that you guys 'stole her money'. Be prepared to tell her the truth in an age appropriate manner.

QueenBeau's picture

I'd like to add that I wouldn't believe anything BM said about this matter. There's a chance that...
1 - BD told her to do this to get his arrers handled & make you feel guilted into giving the money back OR
2 - BM & BD got the bright idea to tell you it was out of SD's account when it really wasn't so you would give 'their' money back.

KiFire's picture

I didn't even think of that. Jesus.

I don't plan on giving it back, if it really matters to them either he will call CSE and explain the situation, if it's really a kids school account I'm sure they won't take it. If they do take it and it really is a school account, BM and Ex can replace the money with their tax returns if they care about SD.

We do have our own small savings accounts for the kids. FDH was just surprised he didn't know about SD5s at school was all.