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update from boundaries post! I told her off!

kaffonseca's picture

First off, let me say I love this site already..to find a site that it's ok to let your guard down and admit to insecurities, jealousies and plain bitchiness at times is GREAT!.

I posted the other day about my FH's BM (I'm still getting used to the correct abbreviations) using their 2yr old to call him nonstop..go into his job because the "baby wanted to see dadda"..etc..etc..

Well that night I went home strong since reading the comments to my post. After asking him how many times did she call..I don't even ask IF I ask how many times..he tells me twice..now she could have asked the same question in the one conversation but she of course had to have a reason to call later. So I asked him that night "why does she insist on calling you nonstop?" his response was"I don't know ask her" so I did. I sent her a text! (her and I had a confronation about a week previously..but when he threatened to take her to court she called ME to talk him out of it!)

i asked her why she continues to contact him unneccessarily throughout the day. Of course she comes back with "I call for "CJ" and I'll call when and how many times I want"..we of course went on to argue briefly. I told her that I got the ring on my finger that she never got without having a kid and she needed to get a life..on my FH's behalf he's told her many times to get a life too. Anyways she went on to say that having a ring means nothing - she'll always be the first and priority woman because she had his son. I politely reminded her that there was a son before hers (my SS) and that he loves their son not her.

She had no response. I feel so much better for going off on her slightly.

Comments

Gia's picture

The FIRST and PRIORITY woman because she had his son...

GRRRRRRR... this is what really pisses me off.... they kinda think that they have some sort of priority because they had a child with them...

but it is not like that... although the child will always be our partner's child... they are all the ones that either couldnt make them marry them or couldnt make the marriage work...

I have this problem with the BM, although she has never said it like your SS's BM... but thats how she sees it...

that she is VERY important because she is the mother of his child... infuriates me beyond human comprehension...

October8's picture

This reminds me of how H's BM would call nonstop too.. "to talk about SS2". And, it was OK because they were only talking about the kid. Bull***t. Godwilling, if he helps me out of this situation, I will try my hardest to NEVER get involveed in the drama of being with a man who has kids.

One can only hope!

Gestalt's picture

of the conversation earlier in the week about being territorial- everyone needs to pee on their tree

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

The Principlist's picture

It took me a minute as I can sometimes be slow on the uptake. But I finally figured out the whole "womb rental." LOL.

Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P

Rags's picture

you? Of course the BM's mother knows more about your reproductive history than you do. Duuuuh!

What a piece of work your BM and BMGM are.

Dany,

You stay so calm with these people that it amazes me. I would take every opportunity to prove them the idiots that they obviously are.

But ...... that is just me.

Best regards,

StepMadre's picture

Good for you!!!! I almost cheered out loud when I read this. Omigod, I have heard exactly the same thing from my BM! I absolutely love, love, love that you pointed out to her that you got the ring on your finger without having a kid! SM one-BM nothing. LOL. These pathetic BM's need to get lives and stop being so pathetic. Don't they realize that if it weren't for their children, our H's would have absolutely NOTHING to do with them? They always use talking about their kids as an excuse to try to get attention from our H's and it's just sad and pathetic. Our H's love their kids, NOT their ex's and they need to get that concept through their deluded brains. Their value in life comes only from having produced a child and they seem to have their whole identity and self-esteem wrapped up in having gotten pregnant and giving birth. My H loves me based on who I am, not because I birthed his child. He married me knowing that I cannot have children and I know he loves me for me, not my breeding ability. My BM tried to trap him with kids and look who is alone now? He loves his kids and will love them forever, but the only emotions he reserves for the BM involve the kind that make him want to throw up or hit something. Anyway, this was great to read. Not many SM's have the guts to stand up to the inappropriate BM's, so good for you! Biggrin

"A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness isn’t being a bully, it’s having a backbone.” ~Robert Kiyosaki

StepMadre's picture

that I meant no insult to biological mom's in general, just the type that has this attitude, i.e. my BM. Cheers!

"A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness isn’t being a bully, it’s having a backbone.” ~Robert Kiyosaki