YES!!!! I do not like the skids when they return from their BF and for the most part they do not like me. Because there is rules at our house and their BF there are no rules just fun.

I am with you my SDs would come over and just go roaming the neighborhood and I wouldnt know where they were. Maybe im paranoid but anything could have happened to them and I would have had no idea, but then again when at BM house they go where they want when they want so they expect to here. They will often walk 30 min away at BM home and meet teenage boys by themselves which is just crazy in todays world. I have told DH that is no longer happening in my house, they need to understand it is not BM house and there are rules.

Yeah, I have been amazed at the expectation set that when I was responsible for SD 17, she would be allowed to come and go as she pleased, when she pleased, where she pleased....and I should not need to know about it HOWEVER, if she got her butt in trouble then I'd be the one expected to take care of it and help her out...or else I'd be a terrible person. I dunno....it's something that's common courtesy with the other kids....a 'hi mom' when they enter or a 'bye mom' when they leave is typical....but if I'm not home I ALWAYS remind them to make sure my DH knows they are leaving and where they are going...even ask him permission rather than me if he's the one in the home. My SD used to hide out in her room a lot...and the others aren't like that though...so if she's coming in the door the only way I'd know it is if her car was in the drive or not. I think it's her way of saying to me that I have no control over her....and I didn't. Now...once I took to discipline...since I couldn't get DH to stick up for me...she took off for good (well at least so far). I wouldn't hesitate to enforce consequences if I could make it non-confrontational though. For example, I ended up getting her cell phone under my plan with my other kids, so if she misbehaved I could turn off texting or the phone itself. Back when DH had the plan under his name I had to rely on him to do it and he wouldn't...he'd just threaten and she knew it. Same with the internet...I just put passwords on it and if she disobeyed, it got locked down. I didn't have to confront her that way and DH could not argue or undermine directly because he agreed to the rules of the whole house...not just the three kids that didn't share his last name. What he did was act all innocent and she always knew it was me...cuz Daddy wouldn't have the balls, but whatever, worked for me quite well for a year or so. Again, once the actual confrontations started to happen and it escalated to verbal...she couldn't take it and left. That's working out for me pretty good too...

oh yes. My SD10 pulls this same crap. She comes home, with a friend, no permission given. She gets her coat on and says as she is walking out the door "We are going to the playground" she comes back with said friend "she is staying here for awhile tonight, Dad can drive us both back to my moms, she is spending the night"......

at the last one I said " no one said she could stay for dinner, tonight is your dads night with you. She has to go home in 30 mins" grrrr.....

It is so frustrating, and yes I also have the new rule of taking the door off if it is slammed.

Both of these girls (yours and mine) know the rules they just don't do it becuz they are trying to prove to us that they don't have to listen. Give them an inch of rope and they hang you with it.