Step-Daughter issues rear their ugly head once again!
We have been through hell over the last 8 years with my SD and the BM. SD17 has posted horrible things about my husband on facebook and youtube. She has been the poster child of parental alienation. Last year around this time she finally severed the relationship completely, she posted a short story on facebook about how she wanted to stab my husband in the throat, wish he would get butt raped and wanted him dead. Mind you all he had done to deserve this was ask his mom to stop listening to his lying ex regarding child support payments she claimed he wasn't paying but was.
SD has also threatened my 16 yr old daughter multiple times, she is extremely jealous of her. She has always been very manipulative and plays the poor me game to the hilt.
We finally had enough of the drama and her only showing up in our lives at Christmas and birthday, literately only stepping in the house to get presents and leave without a thank you. We washed our hands and after the last death threats, decided she lost all privileges of being apart of our family.
Well a couple weeks ago BM threw her out of the house, she has been flopping at a friends, she has a BF that is a known crackhead, she steals, lies etc. DH got a call from his dad tonight telling him we should take her in because she is sleeping on a mattress on the floor in the basement of the friends house and people there are stealing her food!
DH nor I want to do this, we do not trust her at all. She isn't in school so she would be in our house all day doing god knows what, we wouldn't feel safe to sleep, and I would fear for my daughters safety. So I told DH to do what he feels he needs to but if she comes here I will have no choice but to move in with my mom for my daughters safety. He completely understands and doesn't want her here either but he is getting pressure form his family, who by the way do not want her staying with them either.
He has thought about calling the police and forcing BM to take her back since she is 17, but he honestly doesn't even want to get sucked into the drama again. We both feel this is a mess BM created and we always knew it would end up at our door some day.
That day has come, any advice would be appreciated.
- irishgirl0727's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
ignore the whore. Do
ignore the whore. Do nothing.
DH needs to ignore his family
DH needs to ignore his family too. At this point SD hasn't even contacted him - so why does anyone think she even wants to come to your house?
There is no point in calling the police, they are not going to force BM to take a 17 year old back - especially if she doesn't want to go. DH needs to just stay out of it.
If SD contacts him, he can decide if he wants to help her in any way - but he should not, under any circumstances, let her move in.
She is talking to family and
She is talking to family and telling them she realizes her dad isn't so bad now and trying to get them to talk to him but no she hasn't had the balls to call him.
That is exactly what he asked
That is exactly what he asked him and his dad said "no she's your daughter". So DH said when I was 17 and kicked out of my moms and screwed up from living with her my whole life you refused to take me in why should I take SD? His dad said "There is a difference between girls and boys"
Ironically she is staying at the same flop house he had to at 17, he told his dad at least she has a matress I had to sleep on the floor.
I told him the same, to
I told him the same, to ignore his family and the whole situation. He kept saying he didn't know what to do so I said "do nothing" I feel she made her bed let her lay in it. They have sucked him into SD & BM drama over the years and we are done with it!
We tried to take her when she was 14, BM dropped her on our door step late one night. We had her enrolled in private school and hired a lawyer to make it official. She chose to go back to her moms because "living with us is like being in prison" lol Then she commenced to saying she hated DH again. So we feel she had her chance and screwed it up.
Yeah I'd ignore, but the very
Yeah I'd ignore, but the very MOST I would do is pay for a motel room until she's 18.
We can't afford that, BM is
We can't afford that, BM is still getting the child support for her so if anyone did that it should be her.
Oh yeah for sure then.
Oh yeah for sure then.
Absolutely under no
Absolutely under no circumstances, let SD in your home. She has threatened your family and you must protect your DD.
Thank you everyone. I told DH
Thank you everyone. I told DH what your advice was and he agrees, so I think we're just going to ignore it all and enjoy our quite non-drama life!
There is nothing to do except
There is nothing to do except for your DH to ignore the people who are telling him to take her in. They are not really all that concerned or they would let her stay with them, right? It's so easy to tell someone else to do what they themselves are not willing to do.
Sure, they can give the excuse, "Well, she's YOUR daughter," to which I would reply, "Yes, she is so I will do as I see fit and you can stay out of it."
She made her choices, now she has to suffer the consequences.
Where she is staying she is
Where she is staying she is safe, she is with a long time family friend of BM. The people there consider her a second daughter, they just don't want her dog there that she drug in with her. Trust me her story to grandpa is way over exaggerated like it always is. We do not know the whole story, but we do know BM was allowing SD's 19yr old BF to live with them and she recently went back with her ex who will not allow SD to do as she wishes and more than likely kicked the BF out, which I'm sure spurred this whole thing. Believe me if you knew the whole back story you would understand.
We have both been heart broke by SD over and over and if we felt we could trust her we would take her and help her in a heartbeat, but she is a violent and unstable person and she is not a small 17 year old girl by no means.
He told his mom to see about helping her get emancipated and he would see what he could do to help her, but she isn't even looking for a job nor do I think she could hold one.