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SD15 brought lice into our home once again...

invisiblestepmom's picture

SD15 got head lice again about six weeks ago...she gets is a lot but it is never her fault. When we took foster kids it used to be that she got it from them...then she got it from her other half brothers at her mom's house, got it from a friend etc...WELL IF YOU STOP SHARING HAIR BRUSHES AND HATS, you wouldn't get it. So this last time she got it my husband told me not to freak out and go overboard treating the house...so I didn't...I thought maybe I was a little OCD about it and let it go...Well long story short, I have been itching every since she told me this news...I was paranoid and thought I had it, had several people chack my head and they saw nothing, not even dandruff...OK so then I thought I was allergic to my shampoos and started trying to new shampoos...I started to get a red itchy scalp even asked my Doctor about it she looked at it and said it was probably soriosis of the scalp or an allergy to shampoos and to keep trying new shampoos...so a doctor did not even see any signs of lice in my head...I was about ready to see a shrink the itching was driving me so crazy...I thought I had on e of those mental disoreders where you think bugs are crawling on you and you scratch yourself to death...well then my son starts itching and getting a red scalp too...checked his head and saw nothing...was thinking he had teh same sensitive skin I have. Monday the itching and now burning was driving me so nuts I took the metal lice removal comb to we have because SD15 gets lice so much and scratched my head with it for relief...pulled it out and found a creepy crawly bug on it. I FREAKED THE HECK OUT....I have never had lice in my life..never had to live with lice until I lived iwth SD... so I run the comb through my son's hair, sure enough he has bugs....My son does not go to school or day care and isn ot around other kids so the only place he got it was this home....No one where I work has had it so I didn't get it there...so only place I could have gotten it was at home....from SD15...whom did I mention can not keep her paws off my brushes, combs, curling irons, scrucnhies, hair ties...I've been freaking out that she uses my things and DH called me selfish. I said then 6 weeks ago that I don't share these things with any one for fear of head lice, especially with someone who frequently get head lice...but I was a slefish bitch just looking for another reason to be pissed at my step kids then...so now hear I was with bugs like a hitchcock movie in my head...And my two bio kids had them too because they like to play with my hats and sleep in my bed...SO I got it from SD15 using my hair things, and then gave it to my kids...DH wanted to shave my kids heads, our kids heads and I said well our you going to shve my head too and the head of the child who brought it into this house??? He shut up. But SS15 quickly got on his ipod and texted SD15 and BM saying I was going to shave her head because she gave us lice. SD15 refuses to come over to our house now and its all my fault...SD15 is pissed about me suggesting the lice came from her...well I haven't been around any one else, sharing hariburshes with anyone else who has had it so WHERE THE HELL ELSE DID IT COME FROM????? SO now DH is mad at me because of me acusing her and my remark about shaving heads...well if you are going to do the lazy white trash thing of shaving kids heads to get rid of lice then you need to shave everyone head who has it inlcuding the princess SD15 and my long locks which DH so loves...beliiev me I wanted to shave my head...I kept saying I was ready to pull a sinead oconnor or britanny spears...I was mortified to have not jue lice eggs but lice bugs crawling in my head....At least now I know I have no mental disorder imagining buggs in my head...now its just PTSD from having bugs in my head...And now I know I am not allergic to my favorite shampoos, and now I also have little faith in the doctor who told me my head problems was soriosis when it was really just a common case of head lice ...and to top it off my step kids are treating my boys like they have cooties because they have lice...WELL that is pot calling the kettle black...Anyway this situation stirred up lots of emotions... Like I am sick of living with my step kids trash...I am sick of DH's double standards...
and SD15 and SS15 both refuse to have me check their heads or treat them for lice...so this lice infestation will likely not go away...supposedly their mom believes the shampoos will damage thier hair and that BM checked them and they have no lice...lots of people checked me and missed it so the only wa to know for sure is to go through thier hari with the NIT comb...but they refuse and DH won't make them so I am succombed to surrendoer to the white trash gods and live with lice in my home or get a divorce which is sounding better everyday!

Comments

Storm76's picture

My head was itching just reading this! Headlice happen, but if people refuse to get them treated then i think it's fair enough to either not let them come stay in your home, or at a minimum insist they bring their own pillow, hairbrush, comb etc & wear a hat at all times to minimise the risk of spreading to other people. Your DH needs to address this issue though, and perhaps threaten BM with informing the school, child services etc - in the UK not treating headlice is counted as neglect!

invisiblestepmom's picture

Glad you said that about the UK because I have actually removed children from thier parents home as a social worker in the past and put them in foster care until the kids could remain lice free after visits because it is neglect...but I am not a social worker anymore (by choice) so what I say does not matter. I am just a mean old step mo who hates her stepkids...well its hard to love them when they bring bugs into my home all the time....

stepmasochist's picture

How often are SD15 and SS15 in your house?? I wouldn't let them in if they had lice and everyone's refusing to get rid of them. Why would parents want to let their kids continue to have lice??? How freaking bizarre!!!

Call the school. They don't allow kids to go to school with lice. Tell the nurse to go through with a comb like you suggested. Then, when they get sent home, make sure DH or BM has to deal with it!

But as for you and your kids, I have one word ... Listerine!!! We just had a discussion about this here -

http://www.steptalk.org/node/18770

This is what I wrote:

"But I looked up the listerine treatment online after reading that suggestion here. I tried it last night. Put it on their heads, wrapped them in plastic caps and left it on for 2 hours. Then they got in the shower, washed it with an apple cider vinegar/shampoo mix (I read vinegar helps loosen the eggs from the hair shaft) and then put a ton of coconut conditioner (I read lice don't like that smell) then had them comb and comb and comb with one of the metal nit combs.

From everything I've read, as long as you focus on treating the head and getting everything out of there, the house will be okay. Their sheets and everything are washed and mattresses sprayed so ...

I'm going to do the listerine treatment every Tuesday night for the next month. And they're using nothing but coconut scent from now on. Maybe have them rinse with listerine every once in a while for good measure. I read all of this will repel them and kind of makes the girls' heads lice-proof. I hope they're right because right now their heads are extremely lice-prone."

That was Tuesday night, the SDs hair still smells like listerine when it's wet. Woohoo! Maybe they're lice-proof!

invisiblestepmom's picture

they are hear every week for half the week...have their own rooms etc..but still have to put thier grimy paws on my things...apparantly moms are supposed to share everything with their kids....even lice.

JustAnotherSM's picture

OMG! Keep those skids away if they have lice.

BTW... my sister shaved her head when she caught lice. I think she was about 18. She looked just like my dad, lol. You have to be a very confident woman to pull off that look.

Freedom2005's picture

Lice definately suck. I found a great treatment myself, and it is finally offered as a generic!

Ovide can be perscribed by a doctor, it is a dilouted form of Malathion, a common pesticide.

It stinks, but it is worth it! We did not find dead lice, we found DISENTEGRATED lice. Eggs dead too fromt this stuff.

We tried almost everything, BM would not treat her daughter. We eventually got this stuff from the doctor and got one for BM too! For the woman who would not treat her daughter, even she did this treatment on herself. She kept crying to BF, "no one will help me, will you?" HIs answer was of course Hell No!.

It is sad that even if you treat someone on a regular basis, if they keep going back to an infested house, they will come back with it. My poor SD10 had it for 2 years before we found this. I brought home all kinds of remedies. We even called CPS twice! No can do, this state does not keep them out of school, they just send home a letter of how to get rid of them. Send them back the next day.

Good luck, it might be a long road.

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm

PrincessFiona's picture

One thing about lice that many people don't get is that it's a cycle. You can't treat it once or even twice and be done. Eggs hatch every seven days (I think I remember right from my own lice hell) so you have to continually pick nits for a good two weeks and check carefully even after that. I dont' think you can even depend on those combs they sell with kits. You have to pull the nits off with your fingernails each and every one at a time. I feel for you.

invisiblestepmom's picture

Oh yeah DH will also not help me and its pretty damn hard to get lice out of your own hair, so I have to go over to my parents house every day and have my mom or sister do it for me...its so embarrassing.

Angel72's picture

Tell your dh that his kids are not allowed into the house until they get checked by a registered nurse for the next several visits since they refuse you to do it. He is to take them there, If they are positive, they go back home until they are treated.
You treat your entire house for several weeks with the shampoos, I know its a headache.
My sd brought them over for 3 years! in a row! ss was easy cause when seh was positive, they would shave his hair off completley. So i decided, not only is she going to shampoo, cause thank god her mother did shampoo treatment with that lice thing...i was going to pluck ever hair i saw with an egg!!!! I spent 2 1/2 hours plucking one weekend. Suffice it to say, she was positive this year, she stayed home until they were dead before coming over. BUt the kids were more than happy to be checked.
Your ss BM is a psycho and i would get the school involved on this one. Cause its not only your house she is affecting, i'm sure sd is spreading it at school. That is how my sd would get recontaminated, by a school girl who' mom didn't believe in treating. Well they sent a letter home with the little girl barring her from school until she was treated
Will this start a fight with your dh...yup! is it worth, yup! its lice! Does your dh have it yet? If not make sure he gets a good dose!
p.s the third time it happened, bm accused me of giving it to her daughter! She doesn't even live with us! comes eow! and the following weekend she asked and kept asking sd is i had gottne it cause bm's house was infested:) I'm happy to say, i didn't! even while plucking her for 2 1/2 hours! Neither did my son or my husband. I decontaminated after she left and made everyone wash with lice shampoo for a few days after she left just to make sure.

invisiblestepmom's picture

yeah when the step kids first got it, we discovered it first on our foster kids, so the foster kids got blames turned out the step kids had it and gave it to the foster kids...so this time I am the one who gave it to every one because I was being nice when I confronted SD..i said check your head because I and your baby brother have lice, I know you have used my round barrel hair brushes and new curling iron, we could have had it in the house since the time you had it and your brother had it or ( and this part I lied to make it look like I was not solely blaming her) I could have got it at work (lie, I work with old people who have us wash thier hair we would know if they have it and I dont use thier hair stuff) or your baby brother got it a this bouncy amusment place for kids (also a lie because the lice showed up the next day, he would not have eggs and hatched larvae that fast after exposure) so really the only person I got it from was her, but now she and her mom are saying I gave it to the kids...
Lets see I am 33 and never had it until now...she is 15 and has had it at least 20 times that I know of.

anita...sigh's picture

Ahhhh lice...

We had six months of sheer lice hell with FIVE kids involved. BM would not treat or would undertreat, wouldn't nit pick so I spent hours and hours nit picking hair, washing clothes, beds. etc.

In the end, the two kids with the thickest hair ended up with short hair.

I partly blame the schools. They hang all their coats and stuff together. Some schools gave all kids garmet bags to put their coats, hats, etc in and it made a big difference.

Ladies, lice happens. Its not the kids fault, really. Deep breathes and relax. This too shall pass.

We all smile in the same language

invisiblestepmom's picture

I know lice happens, but lice shoudl be treated when it does, and lice should not happen this many times to one child and no responisbility put on her....seriously, when i was little I had friends who got it and I did not...just because someone around you gets it doesn't mean you get it every time...I'm wondering if this girl has a permanent case of it and is a breeding ground for her own species of it.

anita...sigh's picture

More like kids sharing EVERYTHING! Ack, you would think that they would dislike lice enough to start being careful but oh no. they never learn.

Watch your eye makeup.... I got a roaring eye infection from SD15, had to throw everything out and buy new. I told her to throw her's out, she didn't, reused it and got another infection. Fortunately, I hid my makeup after my first experience...

Teenagers.. God help us all.

We all smile in the same language

buttercup123's picture

EWWW, I'm going to have nightmares about lice from reading this. Lol. I wouldn't let that kid in my house and I'd tell DH to eat shit if he didn't listen to me.