No backup for sm?
MIL is over...its past 10 p.m. we just finished watching Ragnarock/Thor. I made dinner for all as it was past 730 and DH was on his stupid tablet. We watched another show, ss grabbed a blanket from his room and was starting to fall asleep on the couch. I said "hey buddy...its getting late..can you please brush your teeth so you can go to bed?" 10 minutes go by, I get up to get a drink and hear dh repeat "hey bud..what did imlosingit ask you to do? Come on"
After letting the dog out I come in the living room to see dh putting a second blanket over him on the couch....he goes "I don't want to hear it"...
OMG....SERIOUSLY??? You ask him what I said as a reminder to do it....then for god knows why now he's not brushing his teeth and not in his gdamn bed? Did he say "she's not my mom"? Or what? Dh repeating what I asked him to do then NOT following through...great...now it looks like ss doesnt have to do jack squat when I ask...I don't like how this is going...I know its just once but this kid is not dumb. He was being pouty and dh went all disney dad "was there something you wanted to do today that you didnt get to do? We'll do it tomorrow".
REALLY?? A movie and alone time with dad isn't enough? Do we need a gdamn circus?
Every. Visitation. Weekend.
Rainbow farts and unicorns
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Comments
Ugh! was that because his
Ugh! was that because his mother was there or does he normally do this sort of thing?
The not brushing his teeth
The not brushing his teeth thing has been an on-going battle for over 3 yrs. Considering the massive thousands-of-dollars dental bill that DH still has to pay....you would think he'd stay on top of it.
The sleeping on the couch thing is new, this is maybe the third time it's happened. MIL was also sleeping in the living room, I don't know if that was the reason ss was being irritating or not.
Tell you DH that if he wants
Tell you DH that if he wants help parenting then he needs to back you up. He literally asked the kid to acknowledge what you said then gave him permission NOT to do it by passively tucking him in then telling you he doesn’t want to hear it. Tell your DH that either way he’s validating/choosing a side and in this case it was the kid about not listening to you and not brushing his teeth before going to bed. Ask him why would he support his kid not brushing his teeth? Or listening to an adult? Or sleeping in his own bed? What was so difficult for his snowflake that he got to take a pass? Point it out to him how ridiculous it is that he can’t even parent his kid enough to agree with the nonparent who’s just suggesting teeth brushing before bed.
Oh trust me...we had it out
Oh trust me...we had it out once upstairs. He ignored me. Then the next morning he asked me if he should talk to him. I honestly was so fed up I didn't even know how to respond. I'm trying to disengage...but this kid is SMART. And he's not mine. And it SUCKS SO BAD...because I want to help but I don't.
Well that was rude
Me being me would say "Did SS brush his teeth? No? Oh well, not my problem if he needs cavities filled and the drill is boring into his teeth and making him cry. So I am handing off all the parenty things to you because you know better. Which is fine with me. I will have more time to get my nails done, go to the gym, eat what I want. Oh and you will be getting him moving in the morning because this wife just handed back her stepmom card because you blew me off in front of your son AND your mother.Love you, bless your heart. And I am changing his bedroom he hasn't use for into a craft room, Win win for me!"
This is exactly what you
This is exactly what you should say!!!
Definitely this!
Definitely this!
Sounds like my situation
I don’t even bother with teeth brushing anymore or bedtimes or homework or any parenting things because I never get any back up.
This Friday evening, I get home and SSs are already here because without fail BM demands they be picked up early (even after complaining that DH was trying to be “manipulative” when he wanted to pick up the kids early once). I hear “thunk, thunk, thunk...” coming from one SSs room. I go in and he’s hung a cheap plastic dartboard on his wall. I tell him, which he’s heard before, “I don’t want things stuck to the wall.” I then take it down and he goes down to complain to DH that we don’t have anything for them to do at our house. DH just laughs at him and the whining continues. I finally go down and say to him, “you have plenty of things to do here, you just don’t want to do them. We spend so much money on activities when you’re here, so I’m sick of hearing how you’re always bored.” DH just laughs at all of us as if we’re all ridiculous. I later tell him that I’m sick of him allowing me to be the wicked stepmother because he can’t be bothered to parent. That it’s not a child’s choice to stick something to the wall and I’ll never feel a parental affection toward his kids (as he always says he would like), if I’m not allowed to be a parent.
Our BM's must be related...
Our BM's must be related....if dh picks up ss early (with her permission!) if she isn't there..she throws a fit. He offers to drop ss off earlier to compensate for "her lost time"...she throws a fit. We can't win either.
I Had The Same Experience
in the early years Disney Chef would NEVER back me up. He would side with the skids and compete with the Gir over which house had the fewest rules...race to the bottom. He would even chastise me in front of the skids which really cheesed me off.
So I disengaged and stopped carrying about their hygiene and their lack of breeding/manners.
Me to your husband after he
Me to your husband after he says, "I don't want to hear it." Silence. As I stomp over, rip both blankets off, stand the child on his feet and gentle push him to his bedroom. THEN he'd hear, "Didn't have to say a word."
My husband would be very sad if he said to me, "I don't want to hear hear it."