As long as your dad is happy...

How do you know she was miserable? I don't watch football and haven't missed out on anything football related. Ever. I wouldn't want to spend my birthday at a football party, either. I bet she had much more fun elsewhere.

I see a lot of assumptions that you're making about your SM and few valid complaints.

The other side as a step kid?

We know the other side. We read about it in the adult step kids forum, and a lot of us here grew-up with a step parent or two.

I realize you’re just venting, but ST **is** a site for step parents to vent, not step kids. You know this, right? Your post is a pot stirring one, at best.

I agree. Maybe Super Bowl parties aren’t her thing. Maybe she doesn’t want to attend one on her birthday. Maybe your dad was actually okay with it. Maybe they’re both fine doing things separately.

Was anyone hurt? In danger? No? Maybe you shouldn’t involve yourself in your dad’s marriage woes. Difficulties and differences in opinion, happen in marriages. You’re a grown woman. Act like one.

Did you ever think that maybe because her birthday always falls either around or on the Super Bowl that it's been an annoyance for her all her life? My birthday is 10 days prior to Christmas and BS8 birthday is 3 days after Christmas. I hate it, I can't imagine if either was ON Christmas. I also think I've been to maybe one or two Super Bowl parties in my lifetime. Can't remember because they were obviously not memorable and something that I really cared about. Hopefully she went and got her nails done or had dinner or maybe just sat home and binge watched Netflix or something. Whatever.

And my DH threw me a big surprise birthday party for my 40th, but would punch me in the throat if I ever did that to him.

I guess I'm confused about the timeline as well. Your SM and dad have been together since she was 38, but they didn't get married until she was 50? I guess it doesn't matter, just wondering if I'm reading it right.

I did NOT get along with my step dad during my teenage years. My mom allowed him to discipline me and he ran the house and I didn't like it. It was change, and it was different and I also felt that he babied my step sister and she could do no wrong. But whatever. Once I matured and realized the world does not revolve around me, and that he made my mom happier than I had ever seen her, my step dad and I actually had a decent relationship. I actually feel bad for the way I treated him and things I said to him when I was a bratty self centered teenager.

I don't mean to be a brat, but you almost sound jealous of step mom. Who cares how much her ring cost, who cares how many vacations your dad has taken her on, who cares if they live in a nice home and she gets to enjoy her horses with your dad and friends? They obviously love each other and make each other happy, so let it be.

OP, you are getting flack because your post shines the light on the fact that SOME SMs can be just as awful as the BMs, SDs and MILs posted about here each day.

I wonder how many will tell a SM to STFU the next time she vents about a step situation that doesn't have a direct impact on her.

I love dogs, Your bio reads that you have been a member on ST for 2 years.

You know as a wife yourself that marriages in all of their complexities have very private moments, conversations between husband and wife that kids have no idea about.

Your dad has been with her for 20 years? That is long time and they have established understanding, ebb and flow that YOU will understand when you are with someone for that long.

As far as this: I am beneficiary to everything because my dad didn't get remarried until 50.

Don't hold your breath, I would guess by now, after 20 years changes have been made.

You must remember you will never know about their private conversations. She not a snob for doing her own thing during Super Bowl. You said it yourself regarding your and her dislike for each other. I suspect there more to this backstory.

You sound mad your dad has treated his wife well. That is what husbands do.
I would imagine either your dad gifted you OR your mom was given child support.

BE happy your dad has someone he has enjoyed,,, for all these years.

I couldn't STAND my stepmom growing up. She was a horrible wretched person. She and my dad are no longer together. I was 100% correct in thinking my dad was miserable in that relationship, but... it was not my place to tell him I thought that. He figured a way out of it all on his own.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with someone that rubs your the wrong way. That sucks on any level. I did learn what NOT to do as a stepmom from watching mine for so many years, hopefully you can at least take something positive away from this to apply to your own life.

I know that in most states, if you are under an employer life insurance policy, that the wife would have to sign something in order to not be the "beneficiary" of the policy. I agree with Goodluck, after 20 years, I can imagine that things may have changed.

It amazes me how greedy kids get when their parents die. I have actually seen it more with biokids then with steps.

Meh.

She sounds fine to me. This post kind of reminds me of that article a while back where the stepkid was complaining about her stepmom doing 'weird little leg lifts' in her own living room and taking her and her sister with them to Italy for Christmas, where they were SO BORED! Anyone else remember that hilarious article? I wish I could find it again.

Anyway. Entitled and intrusive much? It's her life...her marriage...her birthday...her home...her time. Butt out.

I am a skid. I have a SM and we have a history of exchanging nasty words and almost 20 years of generally not getting along. She is very high strung and I think she hates that DH and I are loved by all of their friends and her daughter and the boyfriend aren't. Also, she always treated me differently than her daughter and my dad never appreciated that. She never allowed my dad to discipline her daughter but she could boss me around and demean me as she pleased. I am beneficiary to everything because my dad didn't get remarried until 50. He'd never leave her with nothing and if he died tomorrow she could sell their home.

I'm not sure whether your intent is trying to set her up as being the evil b!tch who is jealous of you.... because what I am reading makes it seem like she tried to parent you for your father's lack of parenting, and neither your nor your father liked it..... not really sure what the beneficiary of stuff has to do with ANY of the rest of your post, other than to try to highlight how much you stand to inherit, considering the cost of his lavish gifts to your SM of 20 years...

Her birthday was yesterday. It is almost always around Superbowl weekend. They had a party at their house on Saturday night with about 50 people and everyone brought a side dish for the burgers and beans they made. Before that, they rode their horses all afternoon with their friends. DH and I bought her a bottle of wine and an orchid to put wherever she pleases. She had the audacity to tell my dad that he wasn't "fun enough" at her party even though he cooked and helped entertain 50 people! She's 58 years old what does she want?? Keg stands?! She's obsessed with posting on Facebook so I'm sure she just wanted to brag about the party (which is fine I don't care).

Maybe she wanted him to spend time with her... rather than him being in the kitchen or on the bbq the entire time... maybe she just wanted her husband by her side.

My dad took her to lunch yesterday but still wanted to go to his friend's Superbowl party that DH and I were also invited to. My dad already committed to taking leftover queso for chips and was making chicken kabobs with peanut sauce. They were delicious, btw! Well, SM dropped my dad off (in his truck) and goes to do her thing. I'm not sure if my step sister took her out. My SM is "too good" for a Superbowl party. It was her birthday so she did what she wanted. Fine.

Well everyone was asking about her and my dad text her. She basically told him to have fun and get home on his own. DH and I ended up taking him home about midnight. Let me add that growing up, my dad always treated SM to out of town weekend vacations (almost always cross country) for her birthday and most summers and to Ireland for their honeymoon. These trips were funded 100% by my dad and most times my stepsis and I went. SM's engagement ring is probably $5000 and she lives in a half a million dollar home. Probably an $800,000 home with horse property in the valley.

Ok so... he spend some time with her on her b-day... she dropped him off at something he wanted to go to, told him to have fun, and went to do her won thing... oh and your dad is rich, because THOSE TRIPS! Gold star for you.

My dad is a cook so he always cooks for their big parties. Does she throw him a birthday party? No, she can't ask him to cook for his own party, right? My dad could care less about a party but that's good because SM would never throw him one!

Your point? If he couldn't care less about a party why would she throw him one? They been together 20 years, yes? Surely a WIFE knows her man in more intimate ways that his daughter, wouldn't you think? I mean... surely they must have had a few conversations over the years, naked bodies entwined and talking about life in general, where the topic has come up? You're assuming that he wants that kind of party. Have YOU ever had that kind of conversation with him?

I don't know I just think she was being a diva. I don't care for the Superbowl but I'll go hang out, eat, and visit with friends. She decided to be alone and miserable because she's above a Sunday party. She just rubs me the wrong way and I guess we just "tolerate" each other. I just thought I'd make a post about the other side as a skid.

Who says she was miserable? You even said earlier in your post that she decided to do her own thing because it was her birthday, she could do what she wanted. Maybe she didn't want to be around a bunch of people stuffing their faces while yelling at the tv. *shrugs*

Honestly, it doesn't sound like she's the one acting like a diva... and honestly... with what you've posted, I can put myself in her shoes and see how you might rub her the wrong way.

I love how you have a few post stating "my parents" when referring to dad and stepmom and another that is titled Being a stepparent is Pointless...Yet you make nasty post about a fellow stepparent.

I think you need to remember you’re married to your husband and not your dad. You are way too far up in their business. And honestly, you sound jealous of your dad and stepmom‘s relationship, and that is not healthy for you.

This sounds like something my SD would write. I wonder if the sense of jealousy and entitlement stems from the BM’s influence on their daughters. I know for a fact it does with my SD.

So this whole post is passive aggressive?? Lol just seeing if you get picked on? You set it up nicely in that case. Well done.

I love football but refuse to go to Super Bowl parties. I want to be in pajamas on the couch eating pizza with the kids. No big affair. A lot of people are like that...