Baby may actually help me bond with SD
SD has told pretty much everyone she knows about the baby including BM, GBM, and her camp leader. I guess it's good that she's excited. She is also trying to name baby a Greek god/ historical name and I kinda entertain her but am not considering them, of course. We did an at home gender blood test and the results said girl! All the test looked for was the Y chromosome in my blood but it's not 100% and all it proves is I didn't contaminate it with DH's DNA and the Y chromosome was not detected in my blood. I am 13w3d so the anatomy scan isn't until September 10th.
This last week with SD wasn't too bad. We saw a couple movies and went to the mall for lunch and to window shop. She is with BM this week and they have decided that Monday will be the transition day. DH is fine with it. So this morning, DH dropped SD off and BM will pick her up and keep her until next Monday morning. I told DH that it is perfect so he won't have to see BM's ugly mug every week haha well she is using his friend who is a plumber for the house she owns so she really isn't leaving him alone, naturally. I wish he wouldn't work on her stupid SUV so that we will be done with her when SD turns 18 but this woman will try to remain relevant, I'm sure.
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I hope so.
I hope so.
In my case, when I had DS19months, it just exacerbated the negative feelings I had for SS9.
Don't count on it. Right now
Don't count on it. Right now she is excited because the baby isn't actually here yet. She can't understand how much work a newborn is but the day you bring that little one home and it screams through the night or the first time y'all go out and she asks to do something but you can't because you have the baby...realization will dump on her like a cold pail of water. She will love the importance of being the "big" sister, she will love all the attention she gets from relatives and friends who tell her she is the best at it but there will be a day when she notices the baby is getting more attention (because they need it) and attention equates to love so if your DH isn't there to balance it out then you will have problems. Regression is normal when new siblings happen even in intack families so be prepared for it. It is not the end of the world though, you can still bond with your skid after your bio arrives, it will just be a different kind of love.
I hope it works out well for
I hope it works out well for you, too.
I will tell you, though, that I thought the same. SD6 is with us full time and my baby is now 10 months. I really, really hoped it would bring us closer, and maybe some day, it will. But SD's jealousy drove me insane. Sure, it's probably normal and in an in-tact family, managed easily.
But for me, I didn't WANT to worry about SD while I was trying to enjoy my newborn. I didn't WANT to tone down my incredible bond with my son for SD's sake. I didn't want to worry about if I was showering my baby with too many kisses for SD's liking. When SD asked if I love her as much as the baby, I didn't WANT to say yes. I resented it.
When she threw fits about me buying something for the baby, it drove me crazy. When she got upset because we had to leave somewhere for the baby to nap, it drove me crazy. When she made comments like "who does the baby love most" I wanted to scream NOT YOU because I knew that's what she was looking to hear. No way.
And don't even get me started on when I had to pick SD up from school but the baby was sleeping, so I had to wake my child up and hear him cry the entire way there and back. No, it's not SD's fault and yes, logically I know that. But after-baby hormones make you feel intense rage at ANYONE who you feel "causes" your baby to cry. Because when your baby cries, your heart hurts.
It's hard. I hope it works for you but honestly, you will have a biological bond with your baby that's out of this world and it's rough trying to balance it all.