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ANOTHER reason I hate BM volume 2

I love dogs's picture

As I'm chilling at home on my day off I get this text from BM:

""Hello lady. So it's SD12's dance tonight and she told her teacher she would take pictures for the yearbook. May we come get her phone from you for her to use tonight"

So what is it??!! Last week it was no cell phone for SD PERIOD and now she can use it 1 week later? I'm not the crazy one here! I am literally shaking right now. She's especially crazy if she thinks I want to text her back and see her stupid twunt face today.

Comments

Disneyfan's picture

She does not want the kid to have cell phone.  Normal 

She is  mature enough to not let her opinion on this prevent her child from  completing something her teacher expects her to complete.  Normal 

 

Just because she is willing to allow the kid to use the phone to complete a school project,  doesn't mean her views on the changed on this.

I love dogs's picture

I'm not texting her back because if I do, it won't be polite. Nope. If DH wants to take it to SD when he gets home that's fine, I suppose.

Why is this week different from last week when SD wanted to take pictures and make silly videos at her friend's bday slumber party for just one night? I'll respect BM's wishes and not allow SD to use the phone at her house. Period. DOT.

Disneyfan's picture

The difference is last week SD wanted the phone to goof around with her friends.  This week she wants to use it for something school related.

Some families do not allow their kids to watch TV on school nights.  If the kid has to watch something as part of a homework assignment, then that rule is waived temporarily to accommodate that.

It's normal for patents to revisit rules/their stance on things.

Other than contacting you instead of dad, mom really didnt do anything wrong here.

I love dogs's picture

SD shouldn't have volunteered to take pictures with a cell phone that she was told MULTIPLE times isn't allowed at BM's because she is on BM's time. BM should let SD take HER phone and SD can contact her on the boyfriend's phone when it's time to be picked up.

No need to try changing my stance. DH can take it to her if he wants. I'm not saying a word to BM.

Disneyfan's picture

I'm not trying to chance your stance.  I'm just pointing out how NORMAL  parents deal with these issues.

SD should not have offered to take pictures.  But since the teacher is expecting her to do,  mom did the right thing and revisited her rule on this.

 

The same thing will happen in a few years when it comes to curfews.  

Twix's picture

BM doesn’t own a camera? 

I can understand it (like what Disney fan is saying) but they can figure something else out. You don’t want your day interrupted and that’s the bottom line, for me anyways. 

I love dogs's picture

Thank you. That woman has brought me nothing but grief and I'm done with her games. I'll be happy if I never see her smug. smoker's-aged face again.

Harry's picture

SD May take some pictures for the year book. But she really want to goof around with her friends. Who all have phones and are goofing around also.  That what teenagers do today, just have to keep them from getting into trouble 

I love dogs's picture

DH told me to not play BM's games, that we got the phone for SD, and to not let my hate for BM affect SD's happiness. I'm trying to prove a point that I will not tolerate BM to treat me as a doormat and be straight up snotty to me last week then try and play nice and call me "lady" like I want to be nice to her.

I have officially lost all respect for this woman. 

twoviewpoints's picture

No cake and eating it too. If BM wants her daughter to take the  photos she can send herown phone with the kid.

Dad needs to explain to his daughter that the phone is for his time only, just as BM wants it to be. SD was wronf to volunteer especially knowing theincident of asking for the phone to goto her friends. SD doesnot have a fulltime phone. She has a phone that is kept and used at her father's on father's time.

And yes, you should answer the text. You had no problems sticking your nose into how you felt Sd should have aphone blah blah blah and asked BMfor kid if kid could take it with her to friends.... now you can act the adult with big girl panties and respond to this request. A simply, 'no, it was decided the phone is for use on Dad's time only. She will have to directly ask her father if she would like to discuss it any more than what has already been decided. Please ask SD not to have you request usage of said phone from me again. This is between her and her father.'

I love dogs's picture

I caved and called my mom (needed to call her anyway) and she told me that she thinks SD is being manipulative to use her phone. The yearbook committee, which she is a part of, would provide cameras for yearbook photos, no? How do they get the other pictures? All of the student's cell phones? I doubt that very seriously.

I text BM this to be non-confrontational:

"I'm going to be honest and say that I think SD is playing you. How do they take the other yearbook photos? I'm sure the school has a camera for the yearbook committee.

We all know she knows how to get her way. If you want to talk we can plan a time or get coffee next week. That's just how I feel."

I'm sure I'll get no reply.

This is why BM is a horrible parent and human being. She bends rules when she feels like it then gets mad at SD for pushing boundaries and being disrespectful. Well, yeah, kids need consistency. BM's rule was the phone stays at dad's. Period. She rudely made her point crystal clear to me last weekend.

She is a horrible human being because she thinks I want to help her and do what she wants after she was blatantly rude to me 1 week ago and this week she's being all respectful. She is truly a narcissist.

I think the phone should go away for good until BM decides SD can have one. I have also vowed to disengage 100%. I will be nice to SD when she's here, of course, but no more extras unless I feel like it. I always get walked on for being so nice and I will NOT be a doormat anymore. DH told me to stick up for myself. I decided that he's right and that I will put myself first from today and every day.

fourbrats's picture

As the mom of three teenage girls and a yearbook teacher I actually think mom's compromise is a good one. We do not provide cameras for events like dances because of the possibility to breakage. If a child volunteers or is asked to take photos they use their personal camera or cell phone. 

With my girls the rules were dependent on the situation. There was a general rule such as "curfew is at 10" and the exceptions. "No cell phone until X age" and then an exception may be made. 

And yes, I would have an issue with a 12 year old taking videos and goofing off with friends with her phone. That is a recipe for disaster and not something safe. Chances are those videos and photos would end up in social media and none of the girls are old enough for accounts. 

I love dogs's picture

BM is an idiot to think her sweet angel snowflake is primarily using the phone she hasn't touched in a week for project purposes. No, SD is texting back all her friends, making silly videos, and just happened to take a select few photos for yearbook.

strugglingSM's picture

I think BM is being hypocritical by now allowing the phone if there's a project to be done with the phone. She told her daughter "no phone", so she should stick with that. 

I also question the story, but more importantly, doesn't mom realize that the child will likely also take photos and videos of her friends at the dance? 

Finally, I'd ignore her. If she's difficult there's no reason why you should do her any favors. Also, as a rule, if anyone texted me and said "hello, lady" I'd totally ignore them on principle. 

I love dogs's picture

BM is infectious human waste. DH allowed SD to take the phone because he bought it for HER, but obviously BM is controlling it. That's what she does. Controls everything that she can that involves SD. SD is her golden child and the only manipulation she has against DH anymore now that he's not her bill paying b!tch.

Really, DH allowing SD to have the phone will just show SD how inconsistent and bipolar BM really is. It was a gift for her. I would've told BM that SD's behavioral issues are because of bending rules when she feels like it but that would start a war in both homes. It's sad that we still bow to her one way or another.

I love dogs's picture

We don't have one and apparently BM doesn't either. The tablet we got SD takes pictures so if pics were really for a school project, she could've dealt with the bulkiness because it's a "project".

bananaseedo's picture

Yuck, seriously though I really feel your dh is to blame with all of this.  Giving a CHILD a phone is a recipe for disaster.  We have all said this repeatedly- but disney dad will do what he does, and then bm gets the blame, or the KID or the smom- HE did wrong.  I would put that phone away entirely for another 2 years at least.  Watch that problem go 'poof' in the air.

 

I love dogs's picture

Have you read my new blog? It's hilarious! Now SD is using the phone at BM's!! The best part? SD knows that playing "sick" is her free pass to be catered to and play with her electronics all day!

It's daylight saving time, but for me, I must've woken up in the Twilight Zone!