I had an interesting conversation with SO today (via text, he is traveling).

A little insight - BM is not a trouble maker.  That might not be entirely accurate, she does cause trouble.  She is not malicious, just clueless driven by a self-centered existence.  If boundaries were Tokyo she would be Godzilla.  But I honestly don't believe there's bad intent there.  Bad intent would require her to think about somebody else in this world.  She just doesn't give two poos about anything outside of herself.  She's also no evil mastermind.  I think most of what she does is to quell a feeling, not a thought (let alone a rational one).

Having said that, I'm going to mostly paraphrase the texts between SO and I today.  Disclaimer:  Generally speaking, I swear a lot.  So my special characters are by no means a sign of any particular emotion.  This was an entirely upbeat conversation.

SO: SSs won't be with us Sunday night.  BM has plans for them Monday morning.

ME: Oh well maybe next time. (brains: heck yeah!)

SO:  She wants me to stop by her house (read: the former marital home) on the way home from the airport.  She's working from home I guess.  She interviewed for a new job and wants to talk about whether or not she should take it? Hmmm....

ME: Pfft. !@#% no.

ME: Sorry, gut reaction.

SO:  Elaborate (brains: really? that means you're entertaining this? you dolt.)

ME:  Uh, you're not her husband anymore.  Her career has $#!^ all to do with your co-parenting.

SO:  That's my take on it. (brains: good for you, what a smart boy you are!) I'm not going to provide any input unless it involves a move. (more brains: aww boo that means we're back to you entertaining this? not an appropriate venue. plus, no.)

ME:  She can move all she wants as long as she follows whatever rule is in your decree.  That also has zero to do with you.

SO:  Yeah I'm with you.  That's the only thing I can guess though - that it involves a move and it would mean the boys change schools.

Blah, blah, blah some random back and forth about the allowable distance (100 miles - which is, incidentally, insane) and primary custody and long distance plans. Or she can just not move.  Fantasy battle plans.

SO:  Honestly that's the only reason I can see for her bringing it up.  Otherwise it's just her being crazy and it will be a very short conversation.  Lol (brains: okay, you're not completely brain dead and we're on the right track. ps. it IS just her being crazy, duh)

And then the texting moves off into other random nonsense about the day.  Quite honestly I am chuckling to myself during this discussion.  Maybe I'm not right in the head but in the moment I find the absurdity to be humorous.  So I let the conversation die at it's current resting point.

Like I said, she doesn't appear to be malicious in her stupidity.  She has some very sporadic, very minor moments though where it's obvious she hasn't fully made it to the other side of the emotional aspect of the divorce (4 years later).  That's what drives her destruction of Tokyo, I think.  If you point it out to her she heads back into the ocean without inflicting further damage.  We go without a sequel for great lengths of time and can rebuild the city. 

SO needs a decoder ring for girl speak.  To his credit, when I do translate he addresses it immediately, almost exactly as I would and I don't even have to read him the instructions.  This time, though, the nuances of the way she's worded things have gone over his head.  I'm pretty sure she's angling for husband time (ha! gross!) he thinks she's just laying the ground work for a possible move.  Later in the day out of nowhere it pops into my head, "She must not have an actual offer if she can wait days to chat it up with SO before making a decision.  I'm so right! I !@#%ing knew it!"  And that's when it hits me.  My Showcase Showdown sucks.

Showcase #1 - I'm right and Toyko is in grave danger.  And sequels always get worse.  By the way, I'm totally right.  

Showcase #2 - SO is right* and BM is perhaps trying out this decent human being gig,* has spontaneously gained critical thinking skills* and isn't minimizing SO* which means I could potentially become a resident in a CP household.  And now that I'm not right* I need to get my head examined or at least my glasses changed so I stop seeing everything through the same lense. (* so many firsts it's almost exciting!)

I told him not to borrow trouble and over think her motives, just be prepared.  I'm going to keep my mouth shut and let this boondoggle serve as a learning experience I think.  It shall be recorded in the history books.  Bob Barker was right, spay and neuter your pets, kids.  You should tell people that at the beginning of the show Bob, not at the end.  It's too late at the end.