I hate PEE!!!

Lol I know it sounds weird to vent about urine but i just need to. The whole back of my house smells like it just from ONE ROOM! My SS6 has, over the last 3 years i have been around, been potty trained generally speaking. He was completely potty trained except at night for the first year, then started having some problem all of a sudden, don't know if he was acting out or what, but he was having accidents during the day... ALOT, then after a while started having #2 accidents fairly often. I won't even touch on that because i refuse to deal with it. I can't, i have a weak stomach (says the gal starting work at the hospital next week!). Anyway, BF and i had him wearing underwear to bed and were waking him up and that was doing fine with the occasional accident. We didn't want to use pull ups because we felt it was encouraging him to just pee in them at night rather than getting up. So then we found out a little over a year ago that BM was using pull ups so i called her and asked her to start waking up with him at night so he has consistency in getting up at night. Just like with everything else she says she will do it but it NEVER HAPPENS!!! So BF and i decided it was a waste of time to get up in the night when it's not helping him any because of BM, so we'll just start pull ups. So finally a couple months ago BF is tired of buying pull ups still. He just feels that SS6 should be done with them, and i don't really have experience in the field but it seems like 6 years old is old enough that it should at least not be happening so regularly. So anyway needless to say the room smells like pee and it's getting so bad it's wafting to other parts of the house, like MY room. I clean his sheets, but i can't do it anymore. I pick up his pee soaked underwear, i picked up his pee soaked diapers, and now BS2 is pulling off his diaper in the middle of the night and wetting the bed. NOT AGAIN!!! I am going crazy!

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My BS2 takes a leak on the

My BS2 takes a leak on the carpet and smears feces all over the carpet and walls!! I know he is little yet but he is potty trained during the day, diaper (duct taped) at night. Sometimes he will get his little hands in the side of the diaper and smear the stuff everywhere. He does this when he is upset with my H or me. It is so disgusting. We have a carpet shampooer that we used about 1x a week or so, but the room still smells of urine. I think it is in the pad of the carpet! We rent, oitherwise that carpet would have been pulled up by now.

It is the worst. At 6 years he shouldn't be doing this, but neither should my son. After all the punishments you would think these kids would get the point!!

I am interested to read the advice on how to stop this, I can't seem to get through to him. Good luck, and buy a carpet shampooer--well worth the $150.

windows

1. Open up all the windows and pour bleach and vinegar all over the place.
2. No drinks after 5.
3. If he goes to bed earlier than you wake him up and make him go to the bathroom before you go to bed.
4. No pulls up. If he is going to wet the bed let him lie in the filth and he will start thinking about it before he does it.
5. If he was once housebroken, (potty trained) and now he isnt that is a sign of abuse, sexual or other.
6. If there isnt an improvement after this take him in for an assessment to see what is going on up stairs.
7. Boys are the worse in the world for being to lazy to get up and go to the bathroom.
8. When he whines for more drink after 5 tell him when you prove to me that you can man up and stop pXXXXXX all over the bed you can have drink after 5 and until then you will do without.
It may sound harsh to some but he is 6 and not 2 so you need enforce the rules. You cant control what goes on at the other house but when Bm sees the success that you have maybe she will learn something.

I got mattress covers that

I got mattress covers that are plastic to protect the mattresses, as I didnt want the pee smell to permiate the house. They are now 10, but sd just stopped peeing the bed last winter.. I refuse to let DH take them off the mattresses. I said nope.. as I will not be buying new mattresses should these get ruined.. nor will I live w/this smell in my house.

I also pointed out that sd should be getting her period soon, and w/that comes another boat load of problems. W/the plastic on the mattress, I can spray down the mattress w/disinfectant and get rid of the smells.

Perhaps its the mattress.. I would get a thing of febreeze... put it outside, spray the shit out of it w/the febreeze, and bring it back in a couple of hours later.. after its had time to "breath" and hopefully it will have a better smell.

If you have carpets, I say rent one of those high powered cleaners and clean his rugs in his room.. Put down a throwaway rug over that rug after you clean it that way any accidents are not on the wall to wall rugs.

We have plastic covers for

We have plastic covers for the mattress and pillow. It has been a pocket book saver, thats for sure!!

oh.. i didnt get the pillow

oh.. i didnt get the pillow ones.. didnt realize they had them. funny.. since their heads were going to be on them, they never peed on the pillows.

SS had a peeing issue for a couple of months after being a traditionally dry child.. turned out he was having the crap beat out of him in school.. and bm knew, but said nothing to us, nor did anything about it.. Mom of the year.. i think NOT

oh yeah. I got them when I

oh yeah. I got them when I had to throw away BS pillow becuz it was ruined after I washed it. He used to tear off his diaper, before we started duct taping them and wet the bed all night. It soaked the whole top half of the bed---so disgusting.

Wowzers, I'm sorry you have

Wowzers, I'm sorry you have to deal with all that. That's just not what a Step-Parent should have to deal with. That's when it hits you that this is not your bio kid. So it makes it that much harder to clean up pee and booboo. Honestly, I had no idea that a six year old would have an accident by doing #2. I only thought it was just wetting the bed. I can only pray that it gets better.

Lol thanks for all the help everyone...

But i've tried all of it. He has always had plastic covers, it's been the rule for 2 or more years now, no drinks after 6 (i don't know if that extra hour makes a difference), He didn't wear pull ups except a few months that we tried them, he was only potty trained during the day and hasn't had any daytime accidents in a while. When they started happening again i did pose this to BM as well as BF, and BF basically said i was blowing it WAY out of proportion, that he shouldn't be having accidents but he's never heard of it relating to abuse. I thought the grandparents on BM's side may have sexually abused him because they took him on a week long trip to canada without us know until they were leaving and i didn't think about it until years later so i don't remember timing with his accidents reappearing, but BM claimed her SF sexually abused her as a kid and stil would let them go around him, and she has a 10 year old girl! We told her soon after i came in the picture that they would not be allowed to see him anymore or we would take it to the police. But like i said the daytime accidents haven't been happening for quite a while now, and the night time accidents haven't gotten better or worse in 3 years. I tried to have him assessed but as i am not BM i don't have the privileges to make that decision.

So a related, but slightly off subject story. I told BM probably about a year ago to take him to the doctor so we could find out why he's still doing it every night. She made the appt and BF and I went along. Doctor says it's completely normal and not to worry about it. Sounds like BS to me but whatever. Anyway we get outside afterward and BM tells me as i'm walking away "so do you believe me now?" and i snapped. I turned around and told SS to go to the car. "you do realize that you are not a doctor right? i understand as you say you have done research and asked around, but so have i. The doctor says it's normal that's fine, but if you have a problem with me wanting to make sure that there is nothing wrong with them, then i suggest you go see a doctor because you should be happy i care about your kids and pay attention to what's going on." She didn't have anything else to say.

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege"

Normal??? No if she had

Normal??? No if she had taken him to the dr. he/she would have put him on medication to try and help control his bladder. That is what the dr did for my BIL (12 yrs) that still wets the bed. The dr. said it is half lazyness and half unable to control a weak bladder.

I have heard it relating to abuse, I can't remember the reason why. Something like, getting attention, scared at night..... Although if you hadn't thought this was happening before it probably isn't.

Is FH against taking him to the dr for it. If at a random appt with him I would ask about it. I bet he/she prescribes something to help.

Well like i said

We were there too. She did say it was normal and i would have thought she would say more than that too but she just said if we're really concerned she can refer us to a psychologist to see if something i wrong mentally. BF and BM both said i don't think so and i said "i'll take that number just in case." I can't believe i'm the only one here that thinks this is wrong. My BF almost always backs me so he's not like alot of other BF's i've heard about on here that always side with BM and whatever. But BM has told BF a long time ago that she feels like no one but the two of them can handle their kids, or have the patience for them. REALLY? Yeah that's why a 21 year old is taking better care of them than you!

Oh yeah that was the other thing she said after the appointment. She said "if you don't have the patience to deal with him wetting the bed then i'll just keep him full time." I simply restated that i was not complaining that i just felt that there was something wrong with him and wanted to treat it. She's such a... well you all know.

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege"

OK time to throw myself under the bus on this issue

When my SS had a relapse on this issue at ~6 we did the clean up thing with "don't let it happen again" lectures for about two weeks until we had had enough. We put him in pull ups and nothing else on his bottom half ALL DAY LONG.

He wore a shirt and shoes and pull ups. We gave him the choice, either stop soiling the bed or go out in public in pull ups all of the time including school or any other public activity.

This lasted about half of one weekend day. He wore pull ups in the house for several hours for one day one weekend until we were heading out for lunch. He ran to get his pants and we told him "no, you wet the bed, you don't need pants and you can wear your pull ups to the restaurant".

I was expecting an explosion of sobbing melt down but he totally surprised me. He said "Mom, Dad give me five minutes". He ran to his room, took off his pull-ups, put on his underwear and pants and came out and said "I am ready to go to lunch". His Mom and I stood there staring at each other wondering if he had heard us or not.

He continued his comment with "I wet the bed last night but I have not tonight and it will not happen again ...... lets go to lunch".

And at least in our home he as never wet the bed again.

He was mad with us all day while we had him in the pull-ups especially when his cousins stopped by. He hid in his room and told them through the door that he couldn't go to the park with them.

The consequences of having to wear pull-ups publicly got his mind focused on the problem and he solved it.

I know, not the most sensitive solution to the issue but it worked for my SS.

Best regards,

No way

This is just wrong. Humiliating a 6 year old because he was having issues wetting the bed??? Lots of kids have accidents at night.

So wrong, Rags. I am all for tough love, but this just goes too far.

This was not an isolated accident this went on for weeks.

We never sent him to school or out in public. We just gave him the choice. Quit wetting the bed or wear a pull up 24/7. We had taken him to the Doc who determined that there was nothing wrong with him and we spent hours discussing possible issues with him to no avail. We even tried letting him sleep in wet sheets for a couple of nights. Nothing worked.

So in the end he did not want to be seen in a pull up so he quit wetting the bed.

No one but his Mom and I ever saw him in the pull ups. When his cousins visited he would not come out of his room.

Being noticed was a consequence that got his attention.

It worked for us.

Best regards,

Still wrong

You said this:
" We gave him the choice, either stop soiling the bed or go out in public in pull ups all of the time including school or any other public activity."

That is not right, Rags.

Ok, so you took him to the dr and there was nothing medically wrong with him...did you ever take him to a counselor? You said yourself that it had to do with visits to the dad.

Or how about the fact that some kids sleep so hard at night that they have a difficult time waking up?

You REALLY think it's appropriate to humiliate a little kid over some bedwetting? I say that's just plain BS.

Nothing wrong with the kid and ....

it worked. Which indicates that the issue was not a deep seated psychological or emotional problem.

Parents know their kids and far more often than not know when there is a deeper issue than just a kid that won't get out of bed to use the toilet. There were no changes in his behavior, nothing traumatic.

He just got lazy. The pull up focused his attention and he fixed the problem himself.

End of story.

Best regards,

I caught SS the one day peeing in my garbage can in the kitchen

Not only that, a few weeks ago he drank out of the toilet, I made DH deal with that one, I just can't take it, he's pretty well potty-trained during the day but wears pull-ups at night, until I get plastic for the soon to be bunk bed mattress he can continue sleeping in the sleeping bag.. I can't say too much because I have an 8 year old niece that still wears pull ups, I don't know what's going on there..

No experience here

I have no children old enough to have gone through this, so I don't know what I would do in this situation. The kid is 6 years old. He's in school by now, I assume? And he doesn't have bladder control problems at school or during the day at all? I would ask your BF if you guys could take SS for a second opinion. Bedwetting at 6 years old is never "normal" IMHO.

I usually tend to agree with Rags and I sort of do here also. Have you guys tried rewarding him for NOT bedwetting? Or maybe taking away something that he really loves and saying he can have it back only on the days that he didn't wet the bed the night before?

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Yikes

And I thought my cats were bad! I adopted an abused street cat (and her kitten) years ago and nine years later she is now affectionate and friendly, but still pees on everything if she gets scared or upset. My steam cleaner and Febreeze are my best friends. I had a vet tell me to put her to sleep over it! I would like to see the doctor who suggested that for a skid! (only JK)

SS did this

well up until his 9th or 10th birthday. It was not every night, but it was still frequent. I think in his case it was just laziness. The nights that he stayed dry were mainly due to DH waking up 2 times a night to take him to the bathroom. Usually around midnight and again at 5-6 am. So DH did potty duty for a good couple of years and anytime he forgot SS would wet the bed. We had the mattress protectors and SS got to the point where he would get up strip the bed, put fresh linen on, take a shower and put on fresh pjs and get back in bed. So, yes it was frustrating, but at least he was embarrassed enough that he would try to rectify the situation himself. I wish I had some answers for you.

Just because one opens her legs twice, does not a mother make! ~ ME ~ }:-P

All I can say

is I'm glad my two are 23 and 12. My other two are 21 and 17.

"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac

Pull-ups

We are back to Pull-ups again for my 9 1/2 year old stepson. We started last Thursday, the night before he went to his mom's house. Up until that point he had been wetting the bed every single night, and the night before that he had wet the bed twice! I was so over washing his clothes everyday and running our machines and getting backed up on our own laundry that I went to Target and bought Pull-ups. He didn't believe that I would do that, but when I arrived at home my husband and I were determined to follow through. We did follow through and he didn't wet the bed that night. HOWEVER!!!! HE CRAPPED IN THE DIAPER!!! I'm at my wits end with this child and I seriously wish his mother would just keep him. Our house would be better without him there. He just doesn't fit in.