I make more than SO. We keep our money separate. I pay all the regular bills, he pays all the "extras" - going out, trips, car repairs. Since I like to save more than him, and he likes to spend more than me, that works well - he gets the pleasure of most of the frivolous stuff we do, and I feel completely secure that I've got the regular bills covered (and could take care of myself if need be!).

When he has money to spare, he kicks it back to me because he knows I'll save it. If we're doing something really major, we both kick in whatever we're able to.

SO lost his job in September, and all we've had to do is tighten (ok, almost to nonexistence!) the "extras." So far, we're ok (knock on wood).

This would *not* work for everybody. Some men would feel emasculated, and some women would feel taken advantage of. But it fits us personally. We really don't argue much about money at all.

L

DH and I are old fashion I guess. We haven't moved with the times. Everything we own is ours and all of our money is ours since all of our bills are ours. We both wanted it this way because otherwise we felt as though we would be going into our marriage already preparing for divorce and I guess our philosophy was that if we were going to do that, why get married in the first place? We never argue about money and so this works for us.

We have joint accounts for all things except 401Ks/IRAs. When we married my wife was a SAHM/Full Time Student so my income was the family income. When she started working 4 yrs later when our son (my SS) started school we kept the joint account set up.

Eventually she became a CPA so she keeps all of our accounts. We review them quarterly so that I am up to speed. More frequently if we are doing something unusual like moving, buying a house/car, paying tuition, taking a vacation, etc.....

We really had nothing when we married. We have built our lives and our financial condition together so we hold it all jointly. We are both on the deed/mortgage for our home, we are both on the titles for our cars, and we are both on the accounts.

I understand the situation you are experiencing. I was RIF'd (laid off) in the early 2000's when the Semiconductor industry went bust. I was unemployed for a year while my wife worked. I did some independent consulting but did not have a regular income other than unemployment. My wife was the primary bread winner during that time. Though she never indicated that she had a problem being my sugar mama, she did occasionally bring up that she thought I was eating out too much and spending too much time on the boat at the lake with my also dead-beat former colleagues when I could have been cleaning the house and taking care of the yard. We did have the benefit of extended medical coverage that my former employer carried for almost a year of my unemployment and I did receive 42 weeks of severance because of my time with the company and as a senior manager.

Eventually I found a job and have more than made up for my 1yr mid-career, family income financed sabbatical.

All in all I guess we have a more traditional/retro financial set up in our marriage. What is mine is her's and what is her's is her's. :jawdrop:

Good luck

my Dh has his own acct and i have mine.
DH pays rent, insurance
I pay cable, internet, cell phones, food, and my new car payment (it's in both of our names).

it evens out pretty much. any special outtings we have if it's just the 2 of us - I'll pay, if it's us and his kids - he pays.

hasn't caused problems yet.

DH and I have only been married a few years. We still have everything separate. We split bills. When all of the kids move out, we will join everything. Unless he is still throwing money at SS hand over fist. MY money will not be used for that. EVER.