Yesterday I wrote about how we have decided to get SD16 tested for ADD and a few posters wondered why this wasn't noticed before. DH during a rare good conversation with BM found out that a few years ago she took SD16 for ADD testing. BM knew that something was off with SD16 and decided to take her in to a therapist. DH was told about the therapist appointment but he was just told at the time that it was regarding SD16's behavior not ADD testing. It's a bit confusing getting a whole story out of BM sometimes but at least now we think we know the whole story.

When SD16 was taken to a female therapist she would not talk or answer any of her questions. The female therapist suggested that maybe she would do better with a male therapist and so SD16 was taken to a new therapist. Again SD16 would not talk or share any information with new male therapist. In an attempt to get her to open up to him he suggested she bring in pictures of her family and friends so maybe she can start to open up and tell him about each person in the pictures as a way to bridge the gap between their communication. SD16 told her BM and stepfather that male therapist suggested that she bring in pictures of her in a bathing suit and pictures of her friends and that he was a sexual predator. BM knew this was BS but decided to pull SD16 from all therapy as they were not getting anywhere.

When DH approached SD16 last night about getting tested she was pissed. DH was very good about explaining why he would like to get her tested and he only wants what is best for her and help her with her school work. SD16 swears that she was already tested and the therapist told her that she didn't have ADD and she was perfectly normal and didn't need any therapy. We know this is a lie after DH's convo with her BM.

DH and I have been having a lot of good open talks about SD16 and her processing of information, lies that we just attributed to being a teen, her disorganization, details that get lost in translation, and the most frustrating is that she appears not to listen to us when we try to have a convo with her that she doesn't want to hear. We also learned from BM that SD16 was a terrible liar to her and very disrespectful to everyone is their home. We always assumed it was BM who was the issue. Now the blinders are off and we really see who SD16 is.

DH has the appointment scheduled for Wed of next week and has reached out to the therapist that my step mom has recommended to us to let him know what to except and her history.

I have knots in my stomach and its days like this that I would rather throw in the towel and disengage from the whole situation or pray that she moves back in with BM but I know that DH needs my support and SD16 needs our help. BM gave up on her and I don't want DH to do the same.

Wish us luck.