What do you think?
This has been bugging me...DH asserts all the time that he has legal custody of SS12. It's not stated in their CO. Their CO says they have 50/50 and each parent pays for the child when he is in their home and necessary medical/dental out of pocket costs are to be split 50/50. Extra curricular activities are to be split 50/50 if both parties agree. If not, the parent that wants it has to pay. I interpret this to mean they have 50/50 legal and physical custody.
He says he has legal custody for the following reasons:
SS's state ID has our address
SS goes to school in our school district
SS is on our insurance
Now in his defense he didn't just pull this out of the air. This is what he was told by SS's old school. Basically, BM kept taking DH off the paperwork at SS's school. DH went to pick up SS and couldn't because he wasn't listed anywhere on the paperwork (to add insult to injury she had her DH listed at SS's father) DH brought his ID, SS's birth certificate,ID and social security card as well as the CO. They said that since DH has legal custody SS has to go to the school in our district. BM even tried to change SS's ID but the DMV said that since they are divorced only DH can change the ID unless she brings documentation saying that custody has changed and she now has legal custody. (DH never showed custody papers to get the ID. He brought in his ID and SS's birth certificate. This was done so SS could play sports.)
Does he have legal custody? I suppose it could be interpreted that way but it doesn't ACTUALLY say that.
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What parent is designated as
What parent is designated as the residential or custodial parent, that is the only thing that determines which school they go to in Missouri anyway. But if it states 50/50 I would imagine that they are shared legal custody.
Ours say they split legal
Ours say they split legal custody, but one has physical custody. Usually this is spelled out pretty clear. Nothing else matters on legal custody.
That's what I thought too.
That's what I thought too. Neither of them is listed as "residential" "primary" or "custodial" I am not kidding you. It really does say "________ _________" and "__________ __________" agree to split (50/50)custody of minor child ________ ________. Each parent will pay for minor child's needs while in their home. Etc...
BM doesn't really want to deal with SS but will never let DH have him. If she were to give DH custody or even agree for him to be the primary parent she sees that as she's a bad mom and well she's just MOTY don't ya know?
DH won't sign any agreement that said she was primary or custodial because she will try to lord it over him.
LOL Sorry I left out the
LOL Sorry I left out the actual day to day schedule.
She has every mon, tues and every other fri, sat and sun. DH has every wed, thurs, and every other fri sat and sun.
She gets two weeks for vacation in June after school lets out. DH has two weeks of vacation in the month of July and get this...an additional 4 weeks in the summer to take SS to the ILs. This year she was actually pissed that SS would not be going. MIL took off too much time because FIL is ill so she can't take off while SS and our DS is there. Sometimes we would stay for the month sometimes we don't. She told DH he ruined her plans because we would maintain our normal schedule during that 4 weeks. DH said "I can keep him if you want" then she started screaming at him. He just hung up. *sigh*
I wish the sea donkey paid
I wish the sea donkey paid for stuff when he was there but she doesn't. He always comes home and tells us what he needs. I recently posted a blog where he ruined his new shoes and instead of buying him another pair she told him to cram his feet into a pair of her DH's shoes that are 2 1/2 sizes too small. BLAH.
We try to ignore what goes on in her home since we can't control it but it does affect SS. (Failing school, poor nutrition, dresses like a hobo, poor hygiene, etc) She does provide a roof over his head and feeds him, although he told the obesity doctor he only eats breakfast when he is at our house because I make sure there is always food in the house, his mom usually doesn't. They eat out a lot. But I guess at least she feeds him.
My sister and her ex are truly like what you have. They both provide whatever the kids need in their home and if one doesn't have it all they have to do is call the other and they will provide it. Hell once my xBIL bought my sister's meds because she was sick. I don't know why the two dummies aren't together anymore and why they pretend to hate each other because clearly they don't.
BAHAHAHA love the name
BAHAHAHA love the name RiceSlinger. SS is only partially neglected? He does eat, it's just usually junk. She does give him a roof over his head. He has clothes, they are just old and ratty. If she can get out of paying for it she will.
She wouldn't hit SS. DH would flip out if she did. We don't do that. Some people spank their kids and that's fine with us. We don't do it. We don't have to...the kids respond really well to the "look" and heaven forbid DH has to bring out the "command" voice. The kids melt into a puddle.
I think SS is affection starved. He hangs on me a lot when he's home with us.