My DH's family is going through some things right now and the way his sister is acting makes me want to shake the crap out of her.

I try not to judge but she, since both her kids were born, drops her kids off at MIL's house every single weekend and goes off and "plays" with her DH. MIL also picks up the girls 2-3 times per week after school and keeps them until 8 or 9 pm.

Initially my reaction has been why don't you want to spend time with your kids? but whatever not my life.

Now my issue is...FIL is very ill, he needs a new liver AND now he's got strep. DH's grandmother is now bed ridden. MIL takes care of them both by herself with zero help from her siblings. This woman hasn't slept in days and my SIL is STILL dropping her kids off with MIL. When I called to check on everyone I heard the kids were there, my MIL sounded exasperated. I asked her where SIL was and she said "oh idk probably out playing around" I told MIL she should probably call SIL and tell her to come get the kids because she is exhausted and needs some rest. She tells me she can't do that. DH says it's because his sister will just stop coming around and she won't see the kids anymore. I know if this was one of my siblings I would call him/her on their @ssholery. DH said he can't do that because it would create more problems for his mom. I know it's not my place but I really want to say something to her.

On a side note: this is one of the things that really frustrates me about living here. We could be there, helping my in laws. I know a lot of people don't have a good relationship with their in laws but I'm incredibly lucky and have some good ones. Sometimes MIL gets out of control and I have to tell her about herself but she calms down and things return to normal.