Just a bitter, nasty, grumpy day, and I need to vent.
I'm frustrated, and I know this shit is petty, but it is just boiling inside me today.
I deeply resent that for years.... YEARS... I wanted to get new dishes because I despised the set we had. It had a really corny country down-homey theme and I hated them. HATED THEM. I would pick out new dishes and DH would give any reason he could make up for why he didn't want those. He didn't like the color. They had a texture. We don't have the money. On and on and on. Eventually this did end, literally after YEARS, and I got new dishes. BUT--- SS16 comes home with 3 dinner plates and 2 salad plates from a thrift shop. SS likes these, and wants to use THESE. They are cheap cheap cheap and TACKY. But does DH object? Oh hells to the no, SS gets to have special plates that he uses every. single. meal. He won't eat off of the regular dishes. It's petty, I know, and it's not a hill to die on but my god how I want to smash those fucking ugly ass plates.
I hate that SS16 so easily can manipulate DH with tears and simply acting frustrated. Something he doesn't want to have to do or be accountable for? No problem, SS has the cure! It's an easy recipe- run to his room, slam the door, throw self on bed and start crying about how HAAAAARD it is and how TIIIIIRED he is and how he can't HAAAAANDLE IT and DH will absolve him of anything wrongdoing or responsibility. Presto! And DH doesn't see it! The other day SS16 didn't want to go to school because our electric was out (not even sure how that affected school, but whatever. We have a generator, it's not like we had no water or anything), so he started whining and crying. DH comes to me all sad faced and panicked because SS16 doesn't want to go to school! GASP! SS's really upset!!!! SS's so stressed out! I pointed out that OF COURSE he was crying and claiming stress, that's his go-to M.O. to get out of ANYTHING he doesn't want to do because DH will immediately back down and coddle him. And guess what???? No school for SS, he stayed home all day and played online. Of course DH said he was "doing homework". Yeah.... OK.
I hate that DH will feign ignorance or an inability to think logically, or think at ALL. It's a feigned ignorance to get out of being accountable for his actions. DH- "Oh- I'm sorry Furkidsforme, I didn't realize when we were all talking about a funny video and I pulled it up online and then turned the laptop so ONLY SS and I could see that it that it would hurt your feelings. I had NO IDEA."
I hate that he doesn't think it odd that his 16 year old son can't cut up meat. If we serve a roast, DH has to cut it for him. He can't slice some breast meat from a roast chicken. He can't slice Ham off a ham leg. God forbid you give him a T-bone steak. I'm not kidding.... the kid literally will sputter around like he is being forced to use his feet to cut meat. Yet DH will boast and claim his speshul snowflake has such AMAZING hand/eye coordination, or is so *incredibly* skilled in every way. Who can't cut meat at 16??? I don't get this. I doubly don't get why DH doesn't want him to learn. Does he want him going on dates or business meetings and looking a fool?
I hate that DH wants to be SS's friend, and not his Dad.
I hate that all these years in, and I still know that if SS told DH that I smacked him, called him a name, or yelled at him that DH would automatically side with SS. And likely, I would be out. Time and time again DH has accused me of exaggerating or outright lying whenever I say SS is doing something wrong. Time and time again I have later been proven RIGHT, but DH still will not believe me. He would believe ANY ridiculous, outlandish LIE from SS over a common sense scenario from me.
Today is just a bad day. I read everyone on here and I know we all have about the same troubles, but so many of you talk about this great relationship you have with DH/DW outside of the SKids. DH and I don't have that. Some days I think we have nothing left to bother fighting for.
I'm so tired.
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Comments
They are that cheap
They are that cheap plastic-like Corelle stuff and they are white with piano keys along the edges. BARF
I'm sorry you are having a
I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I have to tell you, I crack up at myself because I could not cut meat either for a very long time. I mean, my younger sister had to cut my meat for me, I was ridiculous! I mean if I tried (and I did try), I would end up flinging my meat off my plate. In my (very weak) defense, I am left-handed and my parents are not so it was hard for them to teach me how. I also did not like meat as a child, so I didn't eat it often. You can bet that I quickly learned how to cut it on my own when I started dating though!!
Your DH is emotionally
Your DH is emotionally stunting his son. Which is like child abuse in my book.
Why not buy the baby a sippy cup? Or video his tantrums for a week then collaborate them and show them to DH. Tell hi either he gets a handle on his son behaving like a baby or you will put this on You tube.
And what do the dishes look like? I am still in shock that a 16 yr old throws himself around like a PMS-ing 16 yr old emo chick.
In future when SS throws himself around just tell DH "When your daughter has got over herself and gets her own way, I will be in the bedroom/ at the mall/ running errands. Now run off and take care of her."
Especially make sure to
Especially make sure to videotape if he starts in on whining to get his DAD to cut his MEAT.
Does dad take care of masturbation for him too?
I would drop some plates. Or
I would drop some plates. Or have them mysteriously dissapear.
I have a secret - on trash
I have a secret - on trash day in my house, when no one is looking, I will throw out something I hate from the kitchen (a dish, a cup, a plate, a utensil) to get it out of my face. I've done with this items that DH brought from his previous marriage, and with those stupid-ass plastic cups the kids are always bringing home from school or wherever they come from. And if someone asks, I just shrug and am like "who knows". They don't suspect a thing HAHAHAHA
You are spot on, Notthemomma,
You are spot on, Notthemomma, this is not about plates. It's about the fact that I wanted to replace dishes, and despite being the one who shops and cooks, I COULD NOT replace the dishes without an outright BATTLE. I mean, seriously, it would have been WAR if I had simply tossed those ugly old dishes and gotten new. (Not sure why DH thinks he should even have input- I don't tell him what he can or can't use in the garage, so he should butt out of my kitchen) Yet SS can march in a proclaim he needs "special dishes" only because he LIKES them, and of course we are all to kowtow to that.
WTF?
The issue is that SS comes above me, EVERY TIME.
I'm still a little
I'm still a little flabbergasted about a 16 year old BOY that #1 - has crying tantrums, #2 - can't cut his own meat and #3 - needs special thrift shop dishes.
Holy Batman...
SS has no friends, so none
SS has no friends, so none ever come over. He is profoundly socially awkward, and has a stutter and a really odd, irritating, nasal voice that sounds really fake. His laugh is really fake. Everything about him is very fake and forced. He is diagnosed as ADHD, but I suspect he is on the Autism spectrum.
Except for the going to a
Except for the going to a thrift store on his own, this sounds like a 6 yo, not a 16 yo.
And your DH sounds like an idiot. Who gets played by a kid about dishes, and is willing to disrespect his wife about it?