Apparently it is impossible to communicate. About anything. But only with me.
Sigh..... DH.
Tonight DH is taking SS16 to be dropped off for a school trip out of town. (which he shouldn't even been going on because he's been rude and snotty to everyone for over a week, but we wouldn't want him to miss out on ANYTHING, now would we?) I ask DH what he wants to do about dinner. He says he has to leave at 7. I ask him again, what he wants to do about dinner, and he calls from SS's room that he will come talk with me in a minute.
He doesn't.
But while he's in there my super sonic bat ears catch him asking ss16 of he'd like dinner. SS16 says maybe some, but he's not real hungry. Then they talk about the fact that they actually don't have to be there until 9. So maybe they will stop and get something to eat on the way. Yeah, that sounds good. DH and SS16 keep packing.
DH leaves to go to the store. I call him-
Me: DH, WHAT ARE WE DOING ABOUT DINNER??????
DH-Oh, I dunno. I thought you would decide.
Me: You said you would come talk to me about it, and then you left and never said a thing. When are you leaving?
DH- Oh, around 9.
Me: So what do you want to do about dinner?
DH- Um, you can decide.
Me: No, I am not playing this game. I can either make something at 7 and we can all eat, or you and SS can get something on your own and I will cook for myself, but you choose.
DH- I dunno, whatever you want.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! How can a man discuss plans ad nauseum with a 16 year old, and be completely incompetent to discuss anything with me???
Let me answer- because Dearest Prince Pookums is leaving and DH can't think about anything else.
On another interesting note- I brought up to DH to contemplate why he can remain all calm and nice-y nice when SS is being a jerkwad and mouthing off like a little smart ass right to his face, yet DH reads "tone" and nastiness into Every.Fucking.Thing.I.Say. We are supposed to talk about that tonight.
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My DH said that I have
My DH said that I have nothing but negative things to say about SD....in reality, he cannot take a suggestion or a bit of criticism without becoming defensive. So frustrating.
^^^^And this is the crux of
^^^^And this is the crux of the problem.^^^^
Our H's putting a wedge in our relationships because they feel they have to treat everyone as equals.
Unless H married the skid, then skid is not my equal.
Wife asked a question, you don't check it out with kid first. You behave like a grown-up, have a conversation with your wife, make a decision and boom......you have now created harmony with your wife.
Skid will deal with whatever decision you make.
Dear H in our lives.....who is the adult and who is the child. Figure it out fast before you lose us.
This is true. Anger gets
This is true. Anger gets their defenses up and then they get angry. Or, they want you to get angry and start an argument, in which case their plan is thwarted when you don't get angry.
My husband once got onto me about some stupid thing, thinking for sure I would come back with a smart ass comment and then he could point out something that I nag him about, just to prove a point (I think that was his plan). Instead, I just said, "Oh, okay. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I did that." He felt like an ass and apologized.
I'm sick of cooking for
I'm sick of cooking for people who either scarf if down and run or aren't even there. I'm about to go on permanent strike.
I'd just make dinner for
I'd just make dinner for myself if you don't know what their plans are. They will soon learn that you either include YOU in the planning or they are on their own for eating.