You are here

Stepdaughter is a Lost Cause

frustratedstepdad's picture

So most of you already know how lazy and irresponsible SD22 is. So she and her son have been living in their own place since the end of July. Lately we've also been watching the grandson less, as we told her we will NOT watch him on Tuesday and Saturday nights so we can have a break. In the past few 3 weeks we've only watched him about 2-3 nights a week which is odd, but hey who's complaining.

For the past month I had a sneaking suspicion that she wasn't really working all of those nights she would drop him off at our place. One time DW dropped him off in the morning and SD22 had a club stamp on her wrist. Then a few weeks ago two of her sisters said that she hasn't really been working but a few nights in the past 2 months at all. Normally you can't believe what one SD says, but since both pretty much had the same story, and SD22 was always asking us for money it made sense. Last month we paid SD22's power bill because as DW put it..."I'm not going to let my grandson go without lights and heat." *rolling eyes*

So fast forward to Wednesday. DW sends me a text asking if I can go straight home from work. SD22 let her power get cut off, and she needed to bring over some food to put in our fridge. Oh and of course she is also getting evicted. She KNOWS she cannot move back in with us, that's not even an option. SD22 admitted to not having worked much in the past few months, and she also admitted to popping pills, along with her regular weed habit. SD22 says she needs about 2 months to "get her stuff together" which basically means she wants us to raise GS3 during that time.

DW and I had both agreed that there should be no more "back and forth" with the grandson and if she wants us to have him, she just needs to sign over custody. Well unfortunately its not that easy because the kids dad is in jail on a felony, and SD22 has to go through the legal process to have his parental rights terminated. THEN she could go through the court system to give us custody. That could take forever because I'm sure the dad would contest it. So we are basically stuck. If we don't keep him, she will just pawn him off to her friends who live about 2 hours away. We have allowed her to come over to our house during the day to take care of him, but it concerns me that the only places she picks to crash is a place where she can't take her son. I just don't get it because I have seen mothers sleep in the car with their kids rather than be separated from them. I'm also concerned that if we do keep him, then it just makes it that much easier for her to be irresponsible and have no incentive to get her shit together.

I'm so damn tired of having to sacrifice for my step-grandson when his own mother isn't sacrificing shit. She works as a stripper so she could have EASILY gotten the money for rent and bills if she actually worked. Sick of her selfish ass always throwing my life for a loop.....

Comments

mommyof1girl1boyangel's picture

i can tell you how to get out of this.

"sd you need to sign a notarized statement giving us TEMPORARY custody, we will take care of the baby with no child support obligation to you or the dad. YOU cannot stay here, the baby will, and you go do your thing." at least a notarized statement will enable you to seek medical attention and daycare while she's working on her life.

OR you call DHS on her for being so unstable, and when the child gets taken from her through DHS you offer to be a foster parent.

i had a sd that was the same way (she lived with us for about 6 months) moved in and revealed she was pregnant after we sent her 200 to get her and her son out of a women's center. well, i told xh YOU tell her to find another place (she too was being lazy and WAY too picky about where to work) or *i* will take HER to a women's shelter her son too if she refused to to sign over custody. let's just say she figured it out FAST-within a month she had another place to live, and a job in another state

mind you i gave xh the ultimatium after about 6 months of her turning down jobs because god forbid she worked as a cashier-and he wasn't working either, i was sole supporter of 6 people, and only me and my daughter were "mine"

frustratedstepdad's picture

Yeah we had a temporary guardianship signed by a notary the first time it happened. Last time though we could actually afford child care since one of the other SD's has an in home daycare. That SD doesn't have any room in her daycare this time for him, so we are stuck with trying to figure out a place we can actually afford in the meantime. Otherwise I wouldn't allow her to be at our home at all during the day.

We are going to tell her tonight thought that SHE needs to figure out daycare.

mommyof1girl1boyangel's picture

make sure you give her an x date to get out. i could see supporting my child (or step) if they are working full time and going to school full time but when a baby is in the picture, YOU need to go, we'll keep the baby is how that will be played.

frustratedstepdad's picture

She doesn't actually live with us this time. She just comes over before DW has to go to work and watches him during the day. I still don't even want her at our house period.

mommyof1girl1boyangel's picture

i don't blame you to be honest, she's 22 and has a baby, it's time to fly birdie, now if she had her shit together, worked, paid her dues and was in school to get a better paying job, i'd say there's some "working with" there but if she's being a deadbeat i wouldn't want another minute either

mommyof1girl1boyangel's picture

with him being a jail bird, wont be hard to get him to be FORCED to sign over his rights depending on what the time is for, drugs, or anythign serious, wont be hard to get. but theft, or something small, ok give him second chance.