Time to Throw in the Towel?
It's one thing when SD9 has one mental issue after another and lies compulsively. But, to have DH believing it...makes me want to run so fast and so far that no one will ever find me.
Almost every morning, I discover something missing from my kitchen. Food, candy, chips, drinks, baby food for BD2, cutting board... Yeah, I know WTF, right? I shouldn't have to hide things from my own kitchen in my room, which is already way too small. We have found half eaten open yogurt containers in SD's room getting all moldy, half-eaten food and crumbs in her bed, a rotten apple core in her closet, and yes, my favorite cutting board was stashed in her closet. Why, why, why? I feel like a fucking prisoner in my own home every single day.
Yesterday morning after DH went to work, I was in my room with BD2 while SD was getting ready to go to school. Suddenly I hear this loud, screeching, scary howling & moaning. It sounded like a fucking banshee. Then I realized it was SD yelling, "I need help! Somebody help me! Somebody help me! I don't care! No! Help me! No, I don't want to! I need help! I don't want to!" It was awful and eerie. She suddenly stopped and showed up in my room, looking extra creepy. I asked what the problem was and she asked if I would sign a paper for school that was due 10 days ago and her dad forgot to sign.
Hmm. I signed it and she skipped away. Completely changed personality like she has many times before. That night, DH tells me that BD2 somehow managed to dial his cell 7 times in a row at 7:30 a.m. and even left one message. I told him that's impossible. BD was in my room with me at 7:30, and I related the story of SD9 howling & screeching. She must have dialed his cell 7 times in a row in a desperate attempt to get him to sign her late paper. God knows why, but DH decided to jump through the roof and insisted it was little BD2 who dialed and not SD! Why the hell do we consistently have to get into stupid argumements because SD does something so crazy and stupid then DH refuses to believe me! I've never in my life had anyone ever question my integrity or my honesty and now I have to defend something so stupid as "where was BD2 when DH got 7 calls in a row?"
This skid is ruining our marriage and my health. She has driven such a wedge between DH, FIL, and I. For the past few months, I wake up every morning with a horrible kidney pain, depression, sadness, loneliness, lost hope. I will likely decide through the dreaded holidays whether it's time to throw up the white flag and surrender as I walk out the door and never look back.
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No advice, just (((hugs))).
No advice, just (((hugs))). How rough. Upside: your 2yo is certainly clever with that phone!lol Hang in there girl.
OMG that's just plain scary!
OMG that's just plain scary! Is she being medicated or in therapy for her mental issues?
I am so sorry you are going
I am so sorry you are going through this. We are likely to get full custody of my SD11 that acts just like this and I fear I will be in your same situation. Although I know that we will be removing her from harm it's going to be hard to deal with things such as what you have described on a daily basis. Our situation is happening quickly due to her BM's BF that was living in the home being charged with rape, however, I have decided that I will be going to therapy if we get full custody. Have you tried going to see someone just to get things out or are you to the point that you've had enough? Is the SD going to therapy?
Realmccoy, your funnier than
Realmccoy, your funnier than a laughing cow!
hehehe, Frust, I hope at
hehehe, Frust, I hope at least you've gotten some comic relief.
My 2 yr old WILL need therapy
My 2 yr old WILL need therapy if she has to keep living with this crazy SD! This is the SD who, one night got out of bed after 10pm, walked over to DH who was sitting with me on the couch, SD whispered in his ear, "Do you know what I'm thinking about?" DH says, "Why are you up? What are you thinking about?" SD says, "I'm thinking about a broken arm." DH was shocked and said, "What the HELL are you talking about?! Go to bed!" SD just stood there staring at DH with no emotion whatsoever.
WTF times 3!! And I'm supposed to be affectionate toward this weird crazy kid who looks like Samara from The Ring?? Should I really feel guilty that I don't?
Anyone want more Halloween stories? I've got more. New ones every day. I used to love watching scary movies around Halloween but since becoming a SM, I can't do it. My life IS the scary Halloween story!
"Samara from the Ring" lol
"Samara from the Ring" lol does she give you the stank eye that kills you instantly?
@ realmccoy: Yeah, is DH in
@ realmccoy: Yeah, is DH in denial or what! There's no way he can be that stupid (or is there?!)
@ ctnmom: How I wish! Instead, this stank eye is killing me VERY slowly. And painfully.
Genius
Genius
Do you have pets? Maybe the
Do you have pets? Maybe the pets made the phone calls. I have heard they can write on furniture, so.....
Ah but you can argue with
Ah but you can argue with audio and video footage, you can argue that SM has become crazy and obsessive and how dare she infringe the privacy and rights of SD, and it is precisely the irrational overbearing attitude of SM which is showing SD in a negative light, and what does it matter if she takes food, it just goes to show how SMs harsh and controlling regime has driven her to such measures!
^^^^^THIS Don't tell DH your
^^^^^THIS
Don't tell DH your doing it!
In my experience the more you
In my experience the more you try to point out SD's behaviour and gather evidence to pursuade DH that there is a problem, the more he will dig his heels in and refuse to believe there is a problem. Pretty soon he is so distracted by resenting you for going on about his daughter all the time that he is completely blinkered to actual worrying behaviour and glaring problems. It becomes a classic case of shooting the messenger.
If you want to stay and try to make it work with DH then my advice is to say nothing about SD. Without the distraction of resenting you for pointing stuff out, he will have no choice but to see for himself, and gradually realise for himself that all is not right with his daughter. Try to work around her wierd behaviour without drawing attention to it - she's doing it to get attention, and his attention not yours. Try as hard as you can not to play into her hands by allowing it to consume your days. But I do know that this kind of neurotic behaviour is hell to live with, and you have your own young child to think of, so no-one could blame you for deciding not to continue.
My SD16 climaxed years of secretive, dishonest, attention seeking behaviour by developing a full scale eating disorder and I was unable to convince DH that she had a serious problem which needed urgent action. It was the final straw that nearly destroyed our marriage. The more I talked about it, the more I pointed out behaviour that was not normal, the more I told him what I thought should be done about it, the less he listened and the more he became convinced that I was the one with the problem and that I was obsessed with SD. Watching her secretly starve herself in my home while sunnily denying that anything was wrong was absolute torture. In the end I gave in and disengaged, it was only then that DH began to take responsibility and eventually involved her mother and got help for SD. And thank God she moved back to her mothers house. It took a long time to forgive him, a really long time.
This kid sounds scary. I
This kid sounds scary. I would keep all other kids far away from her!!
Broken arms and creepy,
Broken arms and creepy, emotionless staring? I would hide all the knives and sharp objects. }:)