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Obsessing over SD

Frustr8d1's picture

Submitted by Frustr8d1 on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 3:52am

So tired of waking up every day and the first thing on my mind is not how I'm going to handle my day and the tasks I have for the day, but how am I going to handle SD11. Just hate that she is the first worry on my mind when I have enough other things to worry about.

I saw another post asking for advice on how to stop obsessing over BM. Even though our BM has been absent for 2 yrs, I still spend too much time wondering where the hell she is and why she hasn't tried to seek or raise or support her own kid. But, my day always starts with worry about how to handle the mess BM created and left us with. Maybe it is obsessive to let SD get to me so bad and I know I am resentful of BM having her freedom while DH and I have our entire life impacted by SD and her daily problems.

Comments

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 7:45am

I've been working a little more OT but not much. I don't even want to come home after work anymore with SD19 home from college, but I do. I have disengaged. I have four dogs plus a SDog that no one wants to tend to. I feed them and then go to my room. LOL

slice_of_slife's picture

Submitted by slice_of_slife on Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:51am

I relate to Tog's comment 1000%. DW just got through mediation with exH regarding custody modification. DW has been worried and moody for months about the situation. Affects her, me and my bios when they are here. Accusations by skids and exH against me and regarding my bios were entirely disregarded by the custody investigator, she realized they were without merit. She openly said she had concerns regarding the exH's "parentification" of the skids. Said that they were given too much input on what should be adult decisions when in the custody of exH. Then she turns around and suggests MORE visitations with exH and that the skids get counseling (once every TWO months, presumably to help them filter the BS exH is feeding them.) Good luck with that. No counseling for exH. The agreement was reached to save the kids of having to go through a court case, which I understand. ExH gets more visitation than previously and gets to tell the kids how he was screwed by the system once again, which he will. DW believes that she gets peace of mind for a while, but exH and skids are continuing the exact same behaviors.

DW loves my bios and they love her, but some of the concessions DW made directly affect me and my bios, and in that negotiation room it was if we did not even exist. That is hard to swallow.