Start taking pictures and put them up - if you want pictures then when you go somewhere have someone else take the picture or get pictures of yourself - we have ton of pictures around our house but it has been all me putting them up - I also make the whole family once every 2 years gets a family portrait at Christmas (and it is a variety of shots the whole family, DH and SS , SS and DD, SS, DD and DH and SS and I and some of just me and DH) and there is no discussion everyone does not like it but they go - so make an appt and tell DH that you two are going. Good luck!

I know where you are coming from...the only picture that is up in the house is of SD11. No wedding pictures, no family pictures. Same way on DH cell phone...the picture (background) on any phone he has had is a picture of SD. I have come to the conclusion that because she is his number one and always will be....that is who he likes to see and be reminded of...other things in his life just aren't that important...and I guess I am that way too. In my office at work is a picture of me with all my kids and a picture of my husband and I...those are my priorities so that is what I have pictures of.

I heard that you can tell a lot about a person and what is important to them by the pictures they have up....

It's similar here, I do have pics of SKids on my dresser and the office is full of pics because that's a 'hanging space' for all sorts of stuff. Living room and dining room have pics but not photo's. I keep a lot on my laptop, it's where I look to see how much they've grown etc. You could take some from the camera, laptop or wherever they are stored and enlarge and frame them? I could do likewise but I just never have!

There are several possibilites for why this is so.

First, I have been married to my DH for nine years and we don't have a photo of us or of his kids up. I have one of my son, and some of my family up, but he says he doesn't care if we put any others up. We have family photo albums though of everyone.

You said that you are living together but not married. My question is if you are planning on getting married soon or is he dragging his feet on that also?

If he is, that could be a sign that he is not really that committed to the relationship. He could love you, and care for you, but not really be that eager to commit to you in marriage. It happens, and if we women stay in an "endless limbo" it is our own fault. I have been there, and done that, and I refused to do it again. That is why when I met my future DH, I decided that if after a few months this didn't look like it was heading for marriage, I was moving on. I had been widowed for a while and knew that I didn't want to waste my time on a deadend relationship.

By-the-way, being a widow, and having known a lot of other people who lost a loved one (including live in significant others) if that person dies unexpectedly, you can loose your home, and you have no rights at all in any decisions which are involved in his estate. It doesn't matter what agreement you two had on things verbally, between yourselves, the law says you have no rights to anything of his. His family has the control. If they wish, they can evict you from the home.

Also, if he gets really ill, you have no right to even visit him! Hopefully, they have changed this rule.

I would highly suggest that if he is truely committed to your relationship, he either marry you soon, or get legal papers written up that gives you authority to be involved in his affairs if he can't speak for himself.

Just some insight from my personal experience in the matter, and what I have seen others have happen to them. I wouldn't worry so much about the photos on the wall - you have more important concerns.

I will say this: My first husband (and father to my 3 kids) could have cared less about having a family photo. He was just that type of guy and I know many others just like him. My new husband is all about having photos all over the place and usually will bring it up. We had family photos taken last year of all of us (some just the kids, some of just us, me with his kids, him with my kids), and it was his idea. We have our wedding photos all over the place, and some "old time" photos of the two of us in the bedroom. I think I just got lucky with this one!! I think some, if not most, men just don't like to get dressed up and go have their picture taken. I would suggest just making an appointment, telling him when and where, and see what happens....

My Dh does not take photos. He encourages me too, but he is not into it himself. We have never had professional photos taken, because we both think that whole look is just terrible. We don't even like school pictures, but the kids do so...
I take lots of them and my daughter does too, much better than posed portraits.
I suggest that you take some and put them up. A lot of men just aren't into the decorating, nesting thing.

Take some engagement pictures. I told DH that its part of the wedding process (he doesn't know anything about weddings since he married BM in the court house) and he just went along with it. As for putting any up if its the house you share with him you have just as much right as any to put up pics. Even if its just a snap of you guys from a digital camera at a party, put a pic up already!

If there are pics of your SD, I can see where it bothers you...however, I would not try to get pics of the family...just get a pic of YOU AND YOUR DH...put it up. Period.

By the way, we have no pics of us up...every once in a while a pic of my DH and I from Jamaica years ago will make it to our living room and I put it away...and someone, either DH or BS puts it up...no big deal to me.

Maybe it shouldn't but it makes me feel totally excluded and it hurts to be reminded every day that I will always be a distant second to SD...it also hurts to have him look at pictures of SD and comment on how pretty SD is :sick: It is very rare that Dh ever compliments me...I don't need to have constant reassurance and attention in that manner but it is nice once in a while.

So do we Foxy...24/7 and SD is "allowed" to visit her mother when she wants to. The BM in our case is not a bad person and doesn't give me any grief but really has some screwed up priorities. So SD doesn't visit her mother very often because she doesn't get all the indulgence that her father gives her because BM is financially limited.

I don't think your FDH is purposely putting off the family photo...he is just being a man more than likely.