See previous blog here: http://steptalk.org/node/76524

Thank you so much for your advice. When it comes from BM I normally know exactly how I feel. When it comes to my own parents and my own family sometimes I am little indecisive. So I appreciate all your comments.

Here's what I did:

1. Talked to dad. I let him know everything that was going on. He is Mr. Sensible and where I get my smarts from. He said that it wouldn't be the end of the world if BF showed and he would have to deal. He said he knows that this is something that comes with divorce and his grand daughter is more important. He also stated that there was no way in hell he would ever serve her under those circumstances. He says he has something worked out with their divorce (it's been 3-4 years now). He didn't go into details but he never does. I'm his child so it's not my business, of course. He is so level-headed and I appreciate that about him.

2. Talked to Gmaw. She laid down the law and said that Mom did not need to be causing trouble right now as she has caused enough. She has my mom riding with her so that no trouble gets started. Neither one of them know where I leave so if she tries any funny business I can just deny her an address. My mom's mom also knows that my dad's family would probably say something if she did bring BF and she said it's about DD. So problem solved.

3. Without talking to each other, it seems the families have split the time gap. My mom's family who is coming out of state is wanting to come earlier in the day so that they do not have to drive at night. I did not know that my dad's family already had another bday party for another little cousin. So, they are coming later in the day. It seems like everyone will just miss each other. I will be entertaining all day but hopefully it will go smoothly. My dad is also a baker and will be baking two cakes for these purposes. Everyone on each side will get to see DD blow out candles and she will get twice the fun.

I think this is fair because Ex DH is also helping host this party. We also do birthday parties together and have never had a problem. It's been five years. My Ex and my FDH get along great and love to hang out. They will be BBQing together. So I kind of feel good bc SS always gets two parties and my DD always gets one. This year she will get two combined. LOL It's not a big deal either way but trying to keep my sanity by pointing out the good things that will come with this.

I think I have it all covered. I am excited at how everything worked out. Something is bound to burst though...... So I will follow up after the party.....