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flintstonegarden's picture

Everything was going great; kids got a long, treated the new step parents with respect etc..... now my step sons won't listen to me, refuse to help when asked and after a month of this behaviour my kids are now starting to treat their step dad the same way. We've been a blended family for 10mths. My ex and I get along and are still good friends, separated for 7yrs. My new spouse can't say the same about his relationship with his ex (separated 20months). In the past month the custody arrangement between him and has ex has changed from him having the kids 1wk a month to now 50/50 shared custody. The new behaviours from the kids seems to coincide with the new custody arrangement and they wont open up to him or me about what's going on or bothering them. Help, What can we do?

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WTF...REALLY's picture

Lay down the the laws of your home and have consequences if not followed. All kids to follow the same rules and have the same punishment. Be very very very consistent.

Have the rules also written up and placed somewhere for all to see.

and welcome to step talk

flintstonegarden's picture

Thank you. We are really trying to be consistent and fair with all the kids (his and mine) and it was going great until the new custody agreement between my spouse and his ex. We will continue with the plan of consistency and fairness and hope this is just a phase the kids are going. This new behaviour is just so frustrating for both of us... I just want to cry because I don't understand what triggered the new behaviours or how to help them. they all use to be open and willing to talk to us about anything.

WTF...REALLY's picture

If things are good with both ex's, then you might want to see about a meeting with all the parents and kids. Show a united front. Let the kids know no other parent is going to support them acting bad at anyone's home.

flintstonegarden's picture

Is Divorce Poison an article on this site or a book I might find at the library? I wish things were amicable between my spouse and his ex like they are with my ex and I but such is not the case.