Am I being a crazy BM????

So my ex husband I have 4 kids together. I am an idiot and haven't had a support modification in 16 years. He's always paid $500 a month and even as they aged out it never changed. He is also ordered to carry them on insurance which he has never done. While I've lived hand to mouth he has bought RV's, Motorcycles, and new trucks. Again I know I'm idiot never getting a modification. He rarely saw the kids always made me feel guilty saying he had to work overtime to pay his child support.

Well now the kids are older and turning into adults and I realize I'm an idiot! Also our youngest is 17 and a junior. He will turn 18 in October but not graduate till the next June. Also I've been carrying the kids on my insurance. I decided to file for a support modification. I'm not even asking for support to change I want it to continue till son graduates and for him to start paying half of insurance on our son and medical bills.

Well he's flipping out. Telling the kids he's going to have to sell his truck to hire an attorney and I'm just money hungry and he has always paid extra when I asked (he'd split band cost, drivers ed, and would help buy school supplies). I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable asking for him to split insurance since he is court ordered to pay it!!!!

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

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4 kids !? If they are with

4 kids !? If they are with you most of he time you are not being u reasonable. That's a lot of kids to support

It's only one now but yes he

It's only one now but yes he only paid $500 for 4 kids. He always made me feel awful saying how much he had to work overtime to pay it. I was stupid and struggled because I felt sorry for him.

I think you are too nice.

I think you are too nice. Lol. He is your ex. Why feel bad for him supporting his kids?!? It doesn't seem right. Even if you were well off he should have been paying the state required amount for child support and then you could have put some of the moneys away for your kids colledge or a trust fund. Either way I think you should have required more.

Also if a court order was in

Also if a court order was in place the entire time and he was paying less than that amount you can go back and get that money retroactively. It's technically still owed to you.

You're not crazy for asking

You're not crazy for asking for what is due but his response is a result of you putting up with him under paying for years and never saying anything. To him it looks like you want more money for having only one child at home and he feels he has paid his due because you never requested a support modification or enforced that he pay the insurance.

So his response of being put out is to be expected, though immature of him to go to the kids complaining about it. You however of course deserve to not carry the financial burden for the children mostly on your own.

Just ignore his whines and go through the courts.

I can't believe he has the

I can't believe he has the nerve to complain about that! Unless he's an idiot, he knows he got off easy. $500 for 4 kids doesn't begin to cover a fraction of what it takes to raise them. I really would make him pay ALL of the insurance from this point forward. My DH paid $1200 for 2 kids and when oldest SS graduated hs, even though DH should have had a reduction for only paying for one, he refused to seek an adjustment and continued paying that amt to BM for the next TWO years until SS#2 graduated! (Yes, I was livid, but how sweet it was when we made our last payment over 2 years ago!) We also have always paid for the kids' insurance (SS#2 is still on it at age 21) plus 60% of what insurance does not pay. I wouldn't back down if I were you--and I'd seek to have him continue to be ordered to pay ALL of the insurance. You deserve this and are NOT acting money hungry at ALL. He's the one greedily trying to keep his money and refusing to support his child as ordered by the court!

Yes, it does matter! The

Yes, it does matter! The Kid's need that money, and you need to contact the powers that be, and it get him back on track asap!

You are being nice, I

You are being nice, I would've filed contempt charges for money never paid, and then sit back and watch how he has a tantrum,

Maybe you should do this, I mean CO stated he needs to pay insurance and he never did, do the calculation and you will agree with me, time to gather the outstanding monies

TBH.. how much more is he

TBH.. how much more is he going to have to pay for one kid for 6 months more?

If you had an order for him to pay insurance, but he never did, I imagine you might be able to get the back money on that.

Unfortunately, you probably should have had modifications years ago. The current one is unlikely to net you any meaningful change...if any.

Right now, you are more likely to end up getting more fallout from your kids for raking him over the coals.

I'm not saying this is right.. just the risk you are taking. At this late date, I would probably just let it ride and be glad to have the man out of my life completely.

If kid is 17 currently and

If kid is 17 currently and graduating in June.. isn't that only 6 months?

edit.. I just went back and read it again.. the kid is a junior at 17.

I graduated when I was 17 and even the oldest in my class were only 18.. guess the kid lost a year somewhere.

Yeah.. I am also October baby

Yeah.. I am also October baby too and got to make the cut. I would miss it these days.

If he paid $500 for 4 kids,

If he paid $500 for 4 kids, do you think you will get at least that much and maybe more for just one kid? I guess I don't really see how much more you think you will get by finally doing a modification.

I was thinking the same

I was thinking the same thing. At first I thought it was just for another 6 months.. then I saw it was for more like 18 more months.

But still, with only one kid, depending upon her income and his income.. she might end up with not much more.. even possibly less.

The fact that he bought things may not have been due to HIS income either. Maybe he married someone who made a pile of money?

I can say definitively that I made over 100K a year and that allowed my DH and I to buy things while he was paying child support that he couldn't have on his own. often it was me paying 100% of payments on things. Now, EX could have looked at that and said.. HEY.. you have a vacation home.. I WANT MORE CS... but the only reason why we had it was because of MY salary.. not his. To expect more money would have been taking into account my salary.. and as you loved to remind me lady.. I AM NOT THEIR MOTHER.

Anyway, appearances can be deceiving. Though, I do think 500 is pretty low ball for 4 kids.. but then again, we would have to know the full timeline to know how long 500 had to support 4 vs 3 vs 2 vs 1.

https://www.texasattorneygene

https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/cs/handbook-for-non-custodial-

Per link above NCP pays for your son thru the June 2018 graduation. Whether he 'wants to' or not.

http://cordellcordell.com/resources/texas/texas-child-support/

Per this one, Dad could possibly have a four year retroactive period.

From your post, I get the impression you're more worried about healthcare insurance and potential medical cost than raising CS amount. May I ask what has changed in son's healthcare that after 16yrs makes this an issue now? I 'get' he was suppose to cover kids , but instead of pursuing him to, you decided to let it slide and cover and pay yourself. Has your insurance changed, perhaps son dropped at 18 per your benefit policy, cost drastically raises?

Your ex can whine all he wants, but his feelings towards any actions you decide to take are irrelevant to the situation. Talk to your lawyer, work the numbers. Is your out put in cost to obtain the enforcement/modification in CS and/or healthcare a gain for you in the end?