Need some guidance before I go straight to ballistic
DH just posted on his Facebook page that he took our older daughter (10) shooting today to a gun range. I am NOT cool with this, as I was not even informed it was something he planned to do and I am a stickler about gun safety. Not that he can't take his daughter shooting, but don't you think at least owes me as her mom a heads up that he's going to stick a deadly weapon in her hand? He's going to act clueless as to why I'm upset, but I think I have a right to be. Ladies, am I overreacting?
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You get it! I heart you.
You get it! I heart you.
Well, she's wearing ear
Well, she's wearing ear protection standing in front of a target pointing at a bullet hole and he's bragging about how she enjoyed it so much she asked when she could go again, so what to you think?
No. I don't know if her past
No. I don't know if her past blogs are still up, but this man is not trustworthy. I don't understand why she ever allows her kids alone with him, but I guess if they separate then for sure that would happen even more than now.
I had told him at least five
I had told him at least five times that I was not comfortable with him taking our BD shooting. He conveniently forgot/did not hear that and took her anyway without giving me a heads up. THAT is what I have a problem with. I would not take BD and do something that is potentially dangerous without clearing it with him first. He even admitted that.
I would be royally pissed if
I would be royally pissed if my DH did that with one of our kids. I hate it that my DH has a gun, and I'm terrified that somehow our boys will get a hold of it, even though it is in a gun safe. It's good he's teaching safety and all, but if you feel about guns the way I do, I would not appreciate seeing about it on FB. It might be considered controlling, but it's one of those things I would want to be involved in right away in order to begin to feel comfortable. I don't know how you can make it better though.
Yeah, it's not the shooting
Yeah, it's not the shooting per se that I object to, it's taking her against/over my objections, not telling me, then me finding out about it via Facebook. I felt really disrespected.
It would upset me too but I'm
It would upset me too but I'm not exactly nonchalant around guns... But let's give your DH the benefit of the doubt, perhaps from his perspective you know he has a gun / shoots, etc, so to him it's probably as if he had taken her go-kart racing or some similar exhilarating activity that he wouldn't feel he needed to clear with you first. Maybe just let him know how you feel, that it's a big deal, not like go-karting, and you would have appreciated a heads up rather than learn your child was shooting via a facebook post.
Actually, he did buy her a
Actually, he did buy her a gun. Oops, I bought this gun for myself but it is just too small for my hand. BD will have to use it.
So the majority of you think
So the majority of you think it is no big deal, I see. To me this is akin to me taking BD skydiving and DH finding out about it on Facebook. I told him multiple times I was not comfortable with him taking BD shooting, he did it anyway. And I had to find out about it after his "friends" on facebook. What I am not cool with is the doing what he wants anyway despite my objections. It is not the shooting itself.
EXACTLY! To me this is a
EXACTLY! To me this is a symptom of his having NOT co-parented with BM so long, he thinks he can do whatever he wants with our two BDs without even discussing it with me first. In fact, he tried to say that to me and I shut him down pretty quickly. "She's MY daughter, I can take her shooting if I want to." Um, no, she is OUR daughter, there are two of us, being that we are married I would think co-parenting is in order. I asked him to tell me of a case where I have ever done anything with our two BDs without informing him about it first, he couldn't think of a single instance. It's just common courtesy. I wouldn't take BD skydiving, not tell DH, and post pictures of it on Facebook. I don't even know why it's something he's "surprised" would make me upset.
When my exH and I were
When my exH and I were married, we agreed that FIL (exhs dad) would not take our DD in his (FIL) personal small craft airplane. FIL had crashed twice in the previous years, both times destroying the plane but walking away with minor injuries. We agreed (I thought) that it made us uncomfortable taking the unnecessary chance with DDs life/safety.
And then what did exH do, the same week he left me for his mistress? Put our DD in FILs plane for a ride around town. And then made her (DD) promise not to tell me (found out months later via dated pictures in DDs overnight bag). When I confronted him later about it he laughed at me and said "Try to stop me from raising my kid on my time." Complete asshat. This incident came up during our divorce proceedings and even exHs attorney advised him to stop the airplane rides.... At least until the divorce was final.
Like you, I didn't like it either and felt first and foremost it was wrong and dangerous for our DD, and secondarily disrespectful to me. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I wish you luck in getting him to see your POV.
Yes, this is how I feel. I
Yes, this is how I feel. I feel that if both parents don't agree to something being done, neither do it. I would never do something DH objected to. BD wanted to get her hair colored, DH said no, so it didn't happen. It's supposed to be a mutual thing, parenting, and if both parents aren't on board, I don't see that it helps keep the marriage stable for one parent to just "do it anyway, what's the big deal?" Frankly, I shouldn't HAVE to justify why I don't want BD shooting a gun, and I didn't say I would object forever, but I object right now, at her age and emotional maturity level, and that should be enough.