BF afraid of BM

My boyfriend lives about 20 min. outside of the larger town I live in. Yesterday he had his son with him and his BM tells him that the kid is going to a sleep over in another little town about 45 min from where he lives. So my boyfriend takes his son to the sleep over and dives all the way back home. I thought oh its okay, his bM or someone else will prob. pick him up. NOPE, stupid bM makes him pick him up this morning! SO I asked him well is she working? and he said idk? probably not? I am so annoyed because he is like afraid of her! he won't tell her anything! so of course he will not be picking me up today because he has to pick up the kid.
I drive to him most of the week and he will pick me up at least once a week. I hate driving out there its so far! and today its snowing of course!
What should I do?

EFlores90's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

I agree, but it is annoying

I agree, but it is annoying that he is always doing things like this. Its so inconvenient and he never stands up to BM. BM hardly has his son because she's too busy working her "important" job. She also has his parents running everywhere to pick him up knowing how far they live.

Yeah he does!

Yea I think I am going to do

Yea I think I am going to do that! I drive a few times a week to go see him, its far as hell the roads are dark! plus he's only up there because he recently moved back in with mommy and daddy! He wanted us to move into the guest house and I told him NOPE! you save your money and we are getting our own place or we are done

I agree with Fire, that

I agree with Fire, that 20mins isn't that far. However, yes, 20mins in the snow (blowing drifting too?) can seem like an eternity and be dangerous also.

But I don't think it's the 20mins at all. Does your BF and the BM have a court order with regular scheduled visitation days and hours? If not, they need to get one. If so, they need to follow it. It really doesn't sound from reading your blogs that neither BM nor your BF either one spend a whole lot of time with this child. Kind of sounds like both sets of grandparents get stuck mostly with the child.

For starters, please don't down play BM's job. No, it may not take the education that what you're going for (nursing) does, but be thankful the woman works and is willing to work. So many woman sit on their duffs and collect assorted govt. assistance that the BM should not be put down for actually working however distasteful or menial the position is to you. Just admitting your BF lives with his parents and has no place of his own at his age with an 8yr old child, is really not the time to toss rocks for what her job is. Regardless of what your Bf's job may be, it sounds as if perhaps it could stand a bit of improvement in status also. Just something to keep in mind.

What your BF needs to do, is follow the court order (or get one if there is not one) and stick to his scheduled time. BM must be informed that she will not be allowed to schedule things like play dates and overnights with friends during the times the child is suppose to be with his father. On Dad's time, it's Dad the child and the friends must go through to schedule and accept those kinds of things. There will be sometimes, Dad has plans and other times where Dad may agree to the kid fun. There should be no BM calling and telling Dad kiddo has an overnight an hour away on Dad's night. With that said, there should be no expectation of BM driving the kid around on Dad's time either. Regardless of who lives where. If Dad has the child and agrees to his son accepting an overnight on Dad's time, then Dad does the hauling around.

The other thing is, if this is Dad's weekend BF shouldn't be dumping his kid off on his parents and running in to spend time with you instead. Why can't BF pick you up if you're going to his house today? He could ick his son up and then pick you up. Or he and his son could both come into town to spend the day with you. You can't blame the BM if BF doesn't want to put himself out enough to come get you. If it's your choice to not drive out, not have him come get you , or he won't, don't blame the BM. Your BF makes you drive out there several times a week if you want to see him and now your BF can't be bothered to come get you or come in...that's on BF not the child or BM.