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Would you go to a meetup group for Step moms?

dragonfly5's picture

Submitted by dragonfly5 on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 10:36am

I am a member of a couple of meet up groups in here in Florida. I am thinking of starting one for Step moms, for lack of a better term. I do not like the word or the connotation that goes with it. I do not consider myself any ones mom except my biod.......sorry got off on a tangent.

I am not the fskids mom so I find other things to do when we have them. I spend sometime with them put do not spend the whole time with them. Don't want or feel the need to.

Would you go to a group like that or is your situation so volatile what you need to remain anonymous? Do you think it would be beneficial?

Thanks for the input.

Comments

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 11:23am

Same here. There is nothing that really addresses my situation. Most of the groups are for single divorced parents, where I'm sure they discuss new spouses/relationships as PART of their group .. but the actual stepparent would likely stick out like a sore thumb.

3familiesIn1's picture

Submitted by 3familiesIn1 on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 11:58am

I don't know if I would go or not - I come here, but I am mostly annonymous. Despite finding comfort in so many sharing the same chaotic and hectic bull crap I go through - I am not sure I would want to put my face to the negativity I feel out there.

I would (do) feel awful about how I feel about my step situation despite the validation received from this site and books like stepmonster. I understand its 'normal' to feel the way I do but feel bad that I feel this way and can not be the step mom who loves her step kids like her own.

So for that reason - I dont know that I would be willing to put myself out to a public group for fear of being beat down by those lovey dovey SMs.

Smile I think its a great idea - but likely wouldn't attend personally.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 1:59pm

What would the purpose of the group be?

I'm not sure that's something I would take part in. I feel like ST gives me the outlet I need. I'm fortunate enough to have a DH I can talk openly with in regards to my thoughts & feelings regarding our situation. (Frankly, I wouldn't have chosen to marry him if I couldn't.) I love his kids & that allows me to be open to understanding where they're coming from & helps make it easier for DH & I to work together to make our situation work as well as we can for all involved.

I struggle to relate to a lot of what's posted here, but at the same time, I do still benefit. I don't post things here that I can't discuss with my DH, but he gets tired of talking about it before I do, so when I feel like I still have more to release, I let it out here.

Even with ST, I've had to take breaks because sometimes the anger & "hate" make my attitude more sour toward my situation. I like having the opportunity to share my thoughts, but don't want the negativity creeping into my real life.

When you talk about a meet up group, I imagine a bunch of women taking time away from their families to gather & have a ST-Live kind of bitch-session. That isn't something I could handle.

It just isn't something that I think would be beneficial to me personally.

dragonfly5's picture

Submitted by dragonfly5 on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 2:28pm

To problem solve, encourage, etc. I think too many "step moms" live in step hell. No bio's of their own. Or worse deal with steps, halfs, bios etc. Sometime just a hug or a kind word can go along way.

I am looking for ladies who understand, I am not the mom and don't want to be. It would be nice to have girl friends in the same boat. An outing away from step hell.
But with people who understand step hell.

I personally don't feel like it would be time away from my family because they are not my family. They are FDH'S kids.

My girlfriends are great but they really don't get why I would not want to spend most of my time with fsd12 and fss15. How can they?

Thanks for the input.