I don’t know how to explain it because we didn’t fight but I tore into SO last night. We’re having new issues with BM which we saw coming up now that she’s engaged. Long story sort she’s back to ignoring questions and pretending she’s the only parent that matters.

Anyways I blamed SO. I tore into him about how his failing to seek the VA benefits he’s owed are costing him contact with his kids. I told him the truth as I see it. That BM is getting to play house with soon to be new husband and is replacing him. That if she wants to move tomorrow she can and there’s nothing he can do about it.

That one day his oldest is going to get sick of waiting and want to know why we never did make it closer like we keep saying we’re trying to do.

I pointed out how by not seeking the VA benefits he’s denying the children that finical support. That with the benefits they could essentially have a free ride to college.

I laid in about how I’m busting my a** doing over time to support our home and he keeps bullsh*ting around when it comes to getting the paperwork he needs to get his application in.

I laid in about how I’m pi**ed that his actions are keeping me from the children. That because of him I don’t feel we can get married let alone have a 3rd child like we want. I’m honestly at the end of my rope when it comes to this VA crap.

I haven’t set anything in motion yet. I’m honestly happy and if the VA didn’t exists I’d have no issues at all. The problem is it does. He’s refusing to take care of it and then wants to complain about how he can’t see the kids. How he can’t afford to go back to court. How he can’t afford to move. All while I know he could easily get 400 to 3000 a month in disability if he would just get over his pride and get this sh*t done.

I can’t imagine leaving him. Day to day I’m happy. I love the kids. I enjoy my life but then there are the struggles that I know don’t have to be. It’s not even the issues with BM since those are manageable. It’s knowing we could be in the same city as the kids and more active in their lives and he won’t do what he needs to do.