Aldi
Joined this site yesterday. To say it is refreshing to see people are going through the same thing as I am, is an understatement.

I have SD15, SS12, SS9, and my own son 10 years (my son is with us 7 days a week. Does not know his father at all.) that live with me and my fiance. The mother of my "stepkids" has them about 11 days a month based on HER rotating work schedule. She left her family in 2010. I began a relationship with this beautiful man in 2011. Me and my son have been living here a few years now, and its nothing like I thought it would be.

It started out fine. But for the last 6 months, I have been in the worst mental state I have ever been in. I have been through and seen a lot in my 38 years of life. Never have I had to try and grasp ahold of my sanity like I am now.

I've heard of passive aggressive behavior before. But never had to live with it. The mother of the skids is very mean to them and are yelling at them 90% of the time. None of the kids ever want to go with her. I have never seen such lying/sneaky behavior that these kids exude. Their father is oblivious to their behavior because, let's face it, he's their father. I know that my son gets on my fiances nerves more than a little. I don't pick up on that behavior because, let's face it, I'm his mother. I NEVER though trying to be a blended family would be so hard.

I don't want to start complaining in this post about just why I utterly detest my step kids and the thing they do Every. Single. Day. that make it so hard to live with (but trust me I will in future posts). I know I am the only one responsible for my own feelings and if I'm unhappy about it, I need to either change what's going on or accept that that's just the way it is and deal with it. But being the HBIC in this household where I have 3 little people who are not playing on my team has and is slowly destroying the spirit if who I once was. Half of my "issues" that I am going through is the tremendous guilt I feel for feeling the way I do. I'm not a mean person. But my kindness had been mistaken for weakness in this household much too long and I have come to accept what I now must do which is Disengage.

I hope to hear all of your stories as well and hope we can help each other out in this thing called "Trying To Be A Blended Family."