Acting Like She is the Only Parent
Bm signed ss up for summer band and didn't tell us. We sent the summer band info to her so she could see if any of the dates conflicted with her plans. Summer band falls on a lot of her days this year but there are still some days that we would be responsible for getting ss there. So, she asked ss if he wanted to do it, signed the papers and turned them in.
It's funny because if we did the same thing to her she would be so mad(we don't sign him up for anything unless we talk to her first when her days are involved). We couldn't just assume that she signed him up. In fact, just the contrary. We assumed that she didn't sign him up since we didn't hear from her. So, then, how did she expect us to know to take him when he is here this summer?
I swear, she is so irresponsible and just doesn't think about these things. She saw the opportunity to act like she was the sole parent in charge and she took it.
Dawn
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Thanks Fearless
I appreciate your comments. While it is true that I've never given birth, I learned what I know from having really good parents myself. I just try to do what I think is right and best. Granted, sometimes I over think things, but in the end I would like to think that ss is benefiting from having me here.(crossing my fingers)
Dawn
Do you have to help pay for
Do you have to help pay for this?
I know this happened to us as well. We were not consulted so we refused to contribute so she had to pay for the full amount on her own.
She has never paid
Bm has never paid for any or even any part of ss's activities. She usually isn't organized or motivated enough to sign him up for stuff on her own. In this case, the summer band was free this year. Last year we paid the fee.
It would have really been upsetting if he would have been in parades and stuff and we would have missed them because we didn't know.
So, I am not going to worry about it. I will make sure that I get ss to band on the days I am responsible for him and we will go to any performances. I just hope that he shows up and has what he needs on the days Bm is responsible for him. If he misses days he shouldn't, the band director will be mad. It is alot to keep track of and I don't know how she is going to do it but we weren't consulted so.....I'll just have to stop thinking about it.
Dawn
Control
She did this out of spite. She wants to demonstrate she has some control over ss, so she avoids communication and signs him up for things.
It's just plain rude to treat other parents like this, but I think she is so insecure, so she avoids talking to you and dh, primarily b/c you intimidate her. She can't control her own feelings over her insecurity, so she exerts what control she thinks she has control.
It's so frustrating. I do have a recommendation...I'm taking a Stress Management class, it's considered Health & P.E. class, but when reading the book I feel like I'm taking a psych class. In the few short weeks I've been taking it, it has helped me through some tough situations that were filled with stress and anxiety. It explains different personalities, and how those personalities deal or don't deal with stress. At the very least, very interesting class. I'm suggesting it b/c it does help me learn to not feel so stressed over the events that I face, and less stress is always better!
Just know that while bm is rude, she is a piss poor mother, and she knows it. She might work on insulting you, but you are a constant reminder she is a failure as a mother, and who can live with that?
Bests,
Candice
Candice
Yeah, I know how Bm is but I just keep thinking that one of these days she will get a clue. The longer I wait for that clue to hit, the more I think she will never change. That's too bad for ss because he is going to have to be the responsible one when he is at his mom's house. Unfortunately, all he is learning from her is to not take responsibility. Grrr!
Candice, you're right. She did it to assert her control as Queen mother.
I'm sure I will be getting many insults behind my back next weekend. Mother's Day is her day to shine because she knows that she has that over me and she gloats.......alot!! I'm already not looking forward to it.
Dawn
Ps: That class sounds good but I really can't do anything like that as long as my Dh is going to college. I need to be here for ss when Dh can't. Dh will be graduating next year.....yea!!