You have got to be kidding me
Well DH just called...Now SD has not seen BM all week...Guess SD called DH at work from school all upset BM called her yelling and screaming at her for what not even sure then told her to get used to new boyfriend that she just started dating because he is moving in with her....Well SD said of course I will not get used to anything and I am staying with dad full time :jawdrop: ...OK I am being a little selfish here I know....and i know she should not be with BM....BUT OMFG!!!!!! FULL TIME.....SERIOUSLY??????? Right now at work, stomach is turning, feel like vomiting and just thinking god help me and give me strength.....Idk what to even think right now...I get no time with my DH now the only time we get is when she is not around....OMG...I am at a lose of words
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I feel for you! I was in a
I feel for you! I was in a similar situation. DH asked SS if he wanted to move in with us full time, SS said yes, I thought that selfish, money-hungry BM would definately say HELL NO!, she DIDN'T....she couldn't have said YES any faster! My time with DH has changed, MY time to go workout after work went away,DH was tired ALL the time, I was the one that took SS to school/picked him up every day, took him to practice, went to games!!!!! Selfish...that's ok! Go for it! I DO NOT blame you for freaking out! It is alot of change for YOU!! Vent her ANY time!!!!
OMG this is my worse fear!!!
OMG this is my worse fear!!! SD gives us no time at all when she is here!! The only time we have is when she is asleep. If she lived here full time I think that would be the end of my relationship with SO. But it may be in our future we just found out BM's druggie BF is living with her again and SD has been lying to us to cover for BM.
My stomach is turning the
My stomach is turning the thought that she is with us ALL THE TIME is just to much....she is with us now 2 days a week and every other weekend and that was alot....Those days she takes all DH attention...She needs so much because of all the anxiety, illnesses she thinks she has and doesnt, all the time out of school, which was mostly with BM, but now who knows, and I take her to school, do her laundry, cook, clean, and work 50-60 hours a week to boot....and have 2 of my own children. One who is college but other son is 14 and he hates when she is over....It has become better but years ago she thought she was boss and used to be mean to him, he was 9 at the time...Well he never forgot and now 14 he really doesnt care for her. he is going freak as much as I am right now when he hears this one....
She has been with us 2 weeks straight because of fighting with BM and I have been pulling my hair out. The plan was Sunday at 12 she was going with BM and staying till Tuesday...I was so excited...Now.....I need a drink..BIG HUGE DRINK!!!!
SD is the same way she has so
SD is the same way she has so many so-called illnesses. None have ever been diagnosed by a Dr. It makes me so mad. She misses 2-3 days a week of school when she is with BM. Then she requires every second of SO's attention every.last.second!!!! She does nothing on her own ever!! E
OMG do we have the same SD?
OMG do we have the same SD? How old is your? mine is 16 so shes not a little one.....
I was thinking the same thing
I was thinking the same thing lol. My SD is 12 she will be 13 next month.
I feel ya sister. When SO
I feel ya sister.
When SO told me that BM was moving out of state (as if she had no choice, which she did, IMO) and SD10 and SD13 would be with us all the time, I felt like dying. Even though I had known it was a possibility, it still made my heart sink to my feet and filled me with dread. And the skids aren't even that bad.
So we've lived with them full time since July (before that it was 50/50 week on/week off). Some of the things that I have demanded or that SO has done to make this more tolerable for me:
- We reserve Saturdays for us. SD13 is supposed to babysit, and we go to the movies, food, shopping, local tourism, whatever. This doesn't always work out when the skids have crap to do but SO knows that it pains me when we can't have this time so he makes a good effort.
- I demanded that bedtime be bedtime, even when they are off school and on weekends. This gives me a set time when I know they will be out of my hair. Before this, bedtime was not enforced.
- They have more chores now, and they are required to do them. This takes some of the pressure off me and him as far as chasing after two pigs goes. Granted they don't do them well and have to be asked, but they do them.
- I finally came to terms with the fact that I can control what goes on in my home and my level of comfort. I take the TV remote, I ask for the best spot on the couch when they are laying all over it, I tell them to get out of the kitchen when I need to cook, etc. I don't wait for SO to do these things like I did before. Somehow, they listen to me.
- The house is quiet and tidy when I get home from work. I text SO when on my way and he makes them pick up their crap and turn off the TV/video games, etc.
It's not perfect or enjoyable a lot of the time but the above does help, and lets me get through what is an allegedly "temporary" situation. I still feel we need a bigger home and more money from BM, but we'll see how that goes. If she ever ADMITS that it's not temporary, wheels will go into motion, for sure.
Good luck and vent here a lot!
Thank you so much.....I will
Thank you so much.....I will keep all in mind.. DH and I are talking to tonight when we go ALONE for BOOZE!!!! LOTS OF IT!!!!