I know you know just how I feel.

I might have to borrow your signature line....I think it is very fitting to my situation.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

You don't know how much I wish you lived closer.

You know I don't know why he does the silly things he does. Not to sound narcisstic but sometimes I feel like it's just to get a stab at me. To make my life a little more miserable. I would say yes, it's about the money but he refuses to sign away his rights. I offered that to him and he said no. He refuses to pay his child support. He's fathered four other children (all girls) to four different women. I can't even tell you what type of a relationship they have because I don't know.

He's a worthless excuse for a man and I would love for him to take his precious money, stuff it up his wazoo and just bugger off. That would be what's best. But doing what's best seems to be foreign to him and I would be shocked to be blessed with two idiots in my life (BM being the other one) to become less idiotic.

MamaSita, thank you for understanding my grief. You are a good friend....

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

but this mama doesn't feel like a good one today.

Nor do I feel like a trooper. I feel very defeated at the moment and my faith in all that is right which I thought was unwavering...not so much.

But thank you very much for the compliment...it is greatly appreciated.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

robinson.

No happy ending in sight, eh?

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

that he will disappear again. I'm going to relay my offer on the table to terminate parental rights in exchange for no future child support payments.

So how is your son now? How did it affect him when he was forced to go with a man he didn't recognize as his father?

I'm hoping the judge will let the temporary court order stand and reprimand him for wasting all of our time. The current order states that I have sole custody and all visitation is at my discretion. He's the one who will really need to prove an alternate situation would be more beneficial.

Ugh. In the best interest of the child. Why is judge more qualified than me to determine what is best for a child he doesn't even know? I'd feel more comfortable sending him to the judge's house for a weekend than to biodad's.....

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Your words are very comforting.

He is truly the most selfish man I have ever known. He left on his own accord and abandoned not only a little boy but a scared teenager as well. His reasons were certainly selfish then. But the WORST display of his self-serving behavior is the need he has to come back to reclaim a son who he has deemed a possession that he has purchased.

He is an obstacle. A hurdle. That's all. I am just so disheartened by so called justice in our court systems. It just seems like sometimes when you are so determined to be fair and do what's right, all that is unjust prevails. I wish I could learn to take the gloves off and hit below the belt. I just don't have it in me, though. My conscience would never allow it.

I have faith. I have hope. I have friends like you.

I am still his Mama. I will still do whatever it takes to try and fix all that goes wrong in his life. I just wish he could get a break. He deserves one. Like I said, I AM his mama....that's a hard enough task in itself.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

as it should be.

BS12 stated to me that he "already has a dad" and that he would be willing to go to lunch with him once a month but that's it.

The last time we saw him, he talked on his phone the entire time as BS12 and I went bowling. My son just rolled his eyes and told me he was ready to leave...

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

I did ask about termination of rights.

Here's the problems. He is NOW showing an interest. Also his (step)father is my EXhusband so the courts are not as willing to terminate rights and let a divorced step father adopt the child of his exwife. I know it sounds ridiculous BUT that is what I was advised.

I took the route of seeking for full custody with no visitation because I had a better chance of getting this type of petition granted (which I did) without actually serving an individual who was not willing to be found. So I had to show due diligence in attempting to locate him (hiring a PI and service by Publication). I actually have an e-mail where he refused to furnish his address. So I had to take all the proper steps to insure that I put forth a valiant effort to locate him. Well about $1500 later, here I am....right back where I started. All he had to do was make a phone call to the court.

Anyways, any help is greatly appreciated.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley